Grandparent visitation Puns

My Grandma looked around my apartment and noticed my wife and I didn't have any pictures of them in our place. This is how the conversation went:

Grandma: "I'm going to give you guys a picture of us. So you don't forget what we look like. We're not going to live forever."

Grandpa: "Not me, I plan on living forever. I'll die trying."

I thought it would be perfect for here. We all got a little chuckle out of it! Thanks for reading!

My dad to his sister "Did you hear about the two antenna that got married?" "no." "Oh, the wedding was alright, but the reception was great!"

My aunt and I lost it. The rest of the room filled with groaning.

So we were visiting my grandparents, and just sitting down engaging in general conversation. Out of the blue my granddad announces "There's going to be thousands of people in Bristol tonight." My grandmother asks "Why?" He replies "Because they live there."

At the cemetary visiting my grandparents and enjoying the view.

Mom (trying to get cell phone service): "Damn, I can't get any bars around here!

Dad: Yeah, it's a real dead zone around here.

I went to visit my girlfriend's family for dinner tonight. The grandparents are there, parents, grandkids, everyone!

We're all sitting in the living room talking. I turn around and look at a picture on the wall from when the family was in Disney World. I had mentioned I have never been before and the following conversation happened :

Grandmother: What?! I thought everyone had been! We would of taken more trips but he (points to grandfather) is afraid of flying!

Grandfather: My arms get too tired!

Everyone groans and he and I bust up laughing!

He and I are going to get along great!

Dad sent this yesterday. Ouch.

Upon hearing that her elderly grandfather had just passed away, Katie went straight to her grandparent's house to visit her 95 year-old grandmother and comfort her. When she asked how her grandfather had died, her grandmother replied, "He had a heart attack while we were making love on Sunday morning." Horrified, Katie told her grandmother that 2 people nearly 100 years old having sex would surely be asking for trouble. "Oh no, my dear," replied granny. "Many years ago, realizing our advanced age, we figured out the best time to do it was when the church bells would start to ring. It was just the right rhythm. Nice and slow and even. Nothing too strenuous, simply in on the Ding and out on the Dong." She paused to wipe away a tear, and continued, "He'd still be alive if the ice cream truck hadn't come along."

We're on a road trip to visit my grandparents, from Texas to Tennesse (10 hours). We stopped in Little Rock for Chickfila. When we get out of the car, it's pretty cold. Dad says, "They should call it Antarkansas". Oh, Dad. :|

Visiting the grandparents with my parents, we decided to take a long drive out to a place my grandpa hasn't been a long time.

Grandpa: Last time I was out here a cougar ran across the road right in front of me!

Dad: Was it a blonde or brunette?

I was going to visit my grandparents who are cooking for me tonight. As I was travelling there I noticed a new shop had opened and really wanted to check it out, so I rung up my grandad to ask him to prolong the cooking.

'Hi grandad, I'll be about ten minutes late so dont put anything on'

'Alright, ill stay naked!'

eurggg.....

My extended family was all at my grandparents house talking about visiting the family burial plot on my great grandmas birthday (she passed years ago).

This is when grandpa said he sold his burial plot. Grandma looked at him a little confused and surprised because they were going to be buried next to each other.

Grandpa smiles and says, "What? Till death do us part. After that you're on your own!"

About a minute of laughter ensued.