Cemetery groundskeeper: I guess you can say I’ve made a grave mistake.
She's 97 now and we don't know where in the world she is!
It was quite the Plot Twist
She made me promise that when she died, I would plant her strawberries on her grave so that people could enjoy them when they visited. When she passed away I fulfilled my promise. She’s dead and berried.
I'll be going now...
I said "Eh, she's alright I guess."
Now nana has a banana and an ananas.
They keep telling you to accept their cookies.
Not sure if I should get original or extra crispy.
The plot thickens.
She broke the bicycle.
My mother just told me she was sending me a sweater made of my grandmother's hair. As if that isn't bothersome enough, she's also sending me the tool used to make it. Evidently, she expects my wife to make one as well, keeping with tradition.
"Mom," I said, "This is so awful. Please don't send me that stuff."
"But Ben," she says, "It's a family hair loom."
which is why she lost her job as a cardiac surgeon.
Oh shit, my boomerang!
She can't hear me otherwise.
He was a tad Pole.
It came with the siren blaring “mee maw..mee maw..mee maw.”
Yep, grandma got run over by a John Deere.
But the Margret prices are too high right now.
Drinks straight from the bottle, she does!
My grandmother was cremated and we were having a service to pay our respects. I was scared and didn't want to go up to the altar alone so my dad went with me.
We stood there, side by side, and stared in reverent silence at the small simple wooden box which was holding my grandmother's ashes. After a minute or so passed my father bowed slightly, leaning in with what I assumed would be words of wisdom and said, "your grandmother was a lot smaller than I remember."
I had to fight just not to bust out laughing in a room full of mourners.
I was told to cross post this here from an askreddit thread yesterday
Because she urned it
She said, “It’s driving me up the wall!”
She said ‘look how far I can kick this bucket’.
“..In my case, it was almost impossible.”
Whenever I visited, I only got to see the good china.
My grandfather said "Hell no, that's like putting a chandelier inside a haunted house."
We call her Poly Ester
There was this heavy dresser and my dad said “Let’s tackle this now rather than later” I looked at the dresser, back at him, back to the dresser, and I said “Id rather lift it”
He gave me a funny look and sighed. My brother in law laughed.
My so-so grandmother got me socks.
Perhaps she'll be able to tell me herself at the funeral
We had a large gathering of family and friends. Everyone paid their respects, we all shared memories and stories
It was a good mourning
That's what I call instagram
They said she's a great grandmother.