Fries Dad Pun

You know the first french fries, wasnt actually cooked in France but in Greece...πŸ˜‚

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πŸ‘€︎ u/yeeeet99
πŸ“…︎ Aug 15 2019
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Dad pun alert
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πŸ‘€︎ u/tobasita
πŸ“…︎ Oct 19 2018
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Dad pun.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Kbro18
πŸ“…︎ Feb 11 2019
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Bow down before 'Nice One Dad', the website gatekeeper of the worst dad puns known to man.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AspiringBiscuit
πŸ“…︎ Jan 01 2018
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Dad Pun (r/funny)
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ShadowKillerx
πŸ“…︎ Oct 31 2018
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Classic dad pun
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bored_Blod
πŸ“…︎ Jul 23 2018
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The best oriental dad pun.

My dad was born in Japan. We're an average looking white family. My dad says he doesn't look Asian because when he crossed the ocean he became disoriented.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/cooterholland
πŸ“…︎ May 09 2015
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The only good pun is a dad pun

but who am I kidding?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/The_Possum
πŸ“…︎ Feb 24 2017
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A classic Dad pun
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Fair_SOTS
πŸ“…︎ May 27 2017
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Classic Dad Pun

Driving through Groton, VT and my dad says "lets stop for some potatoes au groton (like au gratin)." then he laughed for 15 minutes

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πŸ‘€︎ u/poonroldis
πŸ“…︎ Sep 25 2013
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Dad's puns compilation

For the record, my dad didn't say any of these. Also, they get kind of weird near the end.

My vacuum sucks, or, rather, doesn't suck.

That drawing looks sketchy. Something about it looks... shady.

Lightbulb is a smart guy. Some might even say he's bright.

"Mmm, cheesy" he says as he takes the macaroni out of the oven.

When entering a planetarium, my father mentioned how he'd like some cookies with his Milky Way.

Oreolas = cookie nipples (Couldn't really think of a way to set this one up that didn't make it even more awkward.)

"Underwear? Under there?" My dad mentioned as he put his pants away.

Edit: If you've any others, share them in the comments!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/JB_Big_Bear
πŸ“…︎ Aug 02 2016
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Listening to an accounting lecture when the professor drops some dad puns...

>Do you know where the smartest and most reasonable people work? > At the US mint, because all they do is make cents!

I thought it was over and then two minutes further into the lecture.... >Do you know where else really smart and reasonable people work? > At a perfume factory! All they do is make scents!

Now I am just sitting here posting this and trying to think of more puns...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/dmack1228
πŸ“…︎ Oct 09 2013
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Hopefully they like her more than my Dad's puns

Driving with Dad listening to some pop music station. Meghan Trainor comes on the radio.

Dad: "Hey did you know that Muslims love Meghan Trainor?"

Me: How do you know that?

Dad: "I just heard they're Allah bout that bass."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/youngnreckless
πŸ“…︎ May 20 2015
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Another shameless Dad Pun...

Me: "Yea, it was intense"

Dad: "Like the indians..." flahes goofy smile in anticipation for laughs

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πŸ‘€︎ u/CommonStock
πŸ“…︎ Aug 28 2013
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My very first dad joke as an actual dad.

On the day my daughter was born Nurse: We're gonna have to give her a few shots in her heel. Me: Her heel?! She's not going to be able to walk for months!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/brickforsheep
πŸ“…︎ May 19
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My dad (67) just sent this to me. It's literally a dad joke. Some of us might not get it though I'm sure.

What does the Pink Panther say when he knocked over an ant hill?

Dead ant... dead ant... dead ant dead ant dead ant... dead ant dead ant....

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Maddened
πŸ“…︎ May 30
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Do you know where I store all my dad jokes?

In a dad-a--base

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ht-18
πŸ“…︎ May 22
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After watching me read β€œWar and Peace”, my son asked me, β€œDad, why is the book so thick?”

Me: Well, it’s ......a long story.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ May 20
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I have to tell someone about this because I'm at home alone with my 2 year old and 11 month old, and they're to young to understand my best dad joke ever.

My 2 year old has cereal in her snack cup and just showed me that there was a piece of cereal in her sleeve. I said, "Looks like you got some tricks up your sleeve." GUESS WHAT KIND OF CEREAL SHE WAS EATING!.....IT WAS TRIX!
Edit: Thanks for my first gold!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Superj89
πŸ“…︎ May 18
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*This is a literal Dad Joke my father used to tell when I was a kid about 30 years ago. He's almost 80 now and it still makes him laugh.* - So, there was this man named James Fart. Everybody made fun of him since he was very young. "James Fart! James Fart" the bullies used to make him cry...

He came of age among this suffering and at 21 was finally able to legally change his name. He arrived at the government office where he presented himself:

-I'm James Fart and I want to legally change my name!

Of course they laughed at him (everybody did) but eventually they all settled and came around to the situation.

-Ok, so... your current name is.. Β·chucklesΒ· James Fart... I'm sorry, I just...

-I know, everybody has been laughing at my name since as long as I can remember.

After a long and tedious process, everything is ready.

-Very well, sorry for the delays but you know how hard this protocols are. The good news: you are no longer "James Fart", what name do you want instead?

-Charles Fart.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/gone11gone11
πŸ“…︎ May 06
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A kid is pouring himself some milk. His dad walks into the room and asked, "what kind of milk is that?" Kid says, "Soy milk". Dad replies with,

"Hola milk, soy dad."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/eggs-cumberbatch
πŸ“…︎ Apr 24
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I got some devastating news from the hospital today. My dad was pronounced dead.

I can’t believe I’ve been pronouncing it wrong all this time.

Edit: this joke was straight up stolen from professional comedian Nick Nemeroff. I heard it on the radio so I didn’t have his name handy and thought it was awesome for this sub and had to post it before I forgot it. Thanks to Nick for commenting here below so that I could give him credit.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/VeryLastBison
πŸ“…︎ Apr 22
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I don’t get any of these dad jokes in this community!!!!

I must not have Reddit right.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ah20250
πŸ“…︎ Apr 26
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My son just told me his first dad joke. He's 8, so go easy.

Son: what did the fig say to the table?

Me: I don't know, what did the fig say to the table?

Son, angry voice: Hey! I'm asking the questions here. You FIG-ure it out.

Edit: thanks for the silver, I'll tell the boy in the morning!

Edit 2: explained to my son about the up votes and awards. When he heard that someone spent real money to congratulate him for the joke, he said he bets it was his grandparents. He's excited y'all enjoyed it.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/RicoCat
πŸ“…︎ May 23
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My wife is fed up of my constant Dad jokes, so I asked her, "How can I stop my addiction?"

Wife: "Whatever means necessary,"

Me: "No it doesn't”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/dandan_56
πŸ“…︎ Mar 30
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So my daughter is clearing the table and holds her cup above her head and says "Dad look..."

"I'm breathing underwater."

I've never been prouder.

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πŸ“…︎ Apr 03
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How can you tell your dad joke is a dad joke?

It’s fully groan.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/KoronaSenpai
πŸ“…︎ Apr 09
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Not a joke: does anyone have any Dad jokes that I can use on my 5-year-old? I see maybe one joke per week on here that she would understand. Do we need a r/youngerdadjokes?

Punchline

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Tippopotamus
πŸ“…︎ Jun 01
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10...9...My Dad was counting down. I asked why. 7...6... β€œBecause it’ll be 12:57, he said.” 5...4... β€œWhat’s so special about 12:57?” I asked.

It’s Three To One.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/I-think-Im-funny
πŸ“…︎ Apr 21
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When do you know a joke is a dad joke?

When the punchline is a parent

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ohioboy22
πŸ“…︎ May 15
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[Meta] The real purpose of dad jokes

Back in the before times, when sit-down restaurants existed, I used to order boneless cheese sticks and would just throw the word "boneless" in front of any appetizer with 100% corniness. The purpose of this isn't to make a good joke. It's not a good joke. The purpose is to make my dining companions catch some cringe splash damage and want to crawl into a hole and die out of embarrassment for my being horribly corny.

But there is a real, deeper purpose that I've discovered entirely by accident. People, especially young people, are so self-conscious and worried about saying or doing something embarrassing that it taints a lot of social gatherings. They go to a restaurant and are afraid to speak up even when their order is blatantly wrong. They'll tip well even when the food took an hour to arrive and the server has disappeared into the corn stalks behind a baseball field. It takes 2 hours of hanging out together before some friends finally stop nitpicking themselves, uncomfortable in t

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Permatato
πŸ“…︎ May 18
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I had a great childhood, I remember my dad would put me in a tire & roll me down the hill all summer.

Those were Goodyears

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πŸ‘€︎ u/drunk98
πŸ“…︎ May 31
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My dad is going through heart failure, and the first text that I get from him after sending him a card says:

β€œNo more corny jokes, now just corn-orary jokes”

I’m glad he still has his sense of humor through these tough times

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Pranske3
πŸ“…︎ May 31
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Where do you store dad jokes ?

In a dad-a-base

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Le_Canard
πŸ“…︎ Apr 22
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I know tons of dad jokes! Here’s one

1

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πŸ‘€︎ u/dandan_56
πŸ“…︎ May 29
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My dad said if he see me browsing reddit again, he'll smash my head to the keyboard

I guess hezsjkfowgajqjhsjwkwlsvvcaxxacfasuoc

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πŸ‘€︎ u/sexxc
πŸ“…︎ Mar 07
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I want to be a millionaire just like my dad

He wanted to be a millionaire too

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Trtlman
πŸ“…︎ May 31
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My mother sent me this. And I needed to share it. Behold! The Dad Joke to end all Dad Jokes!
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πŸ“…︎ Jun 01
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I asked my dad β€œwhat rhymes with orange”

He said no it doesn’t

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πŸ‘€︎ u/imcmanners
πŸ“…︎ Jun 02
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My dad died when we couldn't remember his blood type

As he died, he kept insisting for us to "be positive," but it's hard without him.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SimpleEntrance7
πŸ“…︎ Jun 02
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Dad jokes are important

They are a big part of pop culture

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πŸ‘€︎ u/its-a-joke--chill
πŸ“…︎ May 03
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I was named after my dad

Because I couldn’t possibly have been named before him

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πŸ‘€︎ u/itsplanty
πŸ“…︎ Feb 17
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Dad: "Knock, knock!" Kid: "Who's there?"

Dad: Spell!

Kid: Spell who?

Dad: W... H... O...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/td941
πŸ“…︎ Apr 02
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My dad was born as a conjoined twin, but the doctors managed to separate them at birth.

I have an uncle, once removed.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Apr 08
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What's the difference between a dad joke and an uncle joke?

Whether you groan or moan

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πŸ“…︎ Jun 05
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My dad was the top clown at the circus, but unfortunately he passed away.

I guess I have some pretty big shoes to fill.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/shopcounterwill
πŸ“…︎ May 31
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Was Just showing my dad my new living space. He asked β€œwhat’s upstairs?”

I Just responded with β€œdad, stairs don’t talk”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mr_Gijsco_man
πŸ“…︎ Apr 09
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Hey dad, how do you feel?

I feel with my hands.

That was my dad’s go to, directly followed by: dad: can I make you a sandwich Me: sure Dad: (does magic hands) poof you’re a sandwich

It’s almost 3 years since he died. I miss his joke every damn day.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/grokm3
πŸ“…︎ Apr 30
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Dad jokes are at all all-time high during quarantine times

Analysts say it's the worst pundemic ever recorded in modern history.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/pikindaguy
πŸ“…︎ May 04
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I found mushrooms growing from the bathroom ceiling in my NYC apartment (typical) and called my dad to see what I should do about it.

He immediately said, β€œWell, I wouldn’t eat them.”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/banananabby
πŸ“…︎ May 29
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Dad: Years ago I had the opportunity to meet R.E.M., and we even took a picture together with my buddies.

Son: Where are you in the photo?

Dad: That's me in the corner.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jay-ay
πŸ“…︎ Jun 05
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How do you know when a joke becomes a dad joke

It'll become apparent

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Lazy_R_Username
πŸ“…︎ Jun 05
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My dad was complaining he’d lost a sock after doing his laundry

Me: it’s a sacrifice to the dryer gods.

My dad: it’s a sockrifice.

(This was an actual joke made by my actual dad today.)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/emthejedichic
πŸ“…︎ May 30
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I don't have a "Dad Bod"

I have a father figure

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πŸ‘€︎ u/HellsJuggernaut
πŸ“…︎ May 04
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I like telling dad jokes

Sometimes he laughs

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πŸ‘€︎ u/midnighthunder0
πŸ“…︎ Jun 04
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Dad, are we pyromaniacs?

Yes, we arson

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πŸ‘€︎ u/02K30C1
πŸ“…︎ May 24
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I don't always tell dad jokes...

But when I do, he laughs.

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πŸ“…︎ May 16
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"Dad, how do you cast spells?"

"You just follow the instructions."

"Which instructions?"

"Yeah, they're the ones."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheLaffGaff
πŸ“…︎ Feb 09
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Do you remember hearing your first dad joke? Is there one that has stuck with you through the years?

Mine was about 20 years ago, I was 17 at the time and going to my gf’s sisters house for dinner with her family. We brought some things to help with dinner. As we’re walking up to the house carrying the cookware, her dad looks back and says, β€œhey, now that you’re walking the wok, can you talk the talk?”. Not sure why but I’ll never forget that. Still makes me chuckle to this day. What’s yours?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/malker84
πŸ“…︎ May 26
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Whenever a dad sees a friend in a restaurant:

β€œOh so they’re just letting anyone in here?”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/AustinSauce_
πŸ“…︎ May 10
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So my 8 year old dad joked his mum...

My wife: hey (son's name) I need to sweep the floor, can you please bring me the broom?

My son: OK broomer!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/GrumpyDingo
πŸ“…︎ Jun 01
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I remember asking my dad repeatedly what the acronym LGBTQ meant.

I never got a straight answer.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/KoronaSenpai
πŸ“…︎ Apr 08
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I dont usually tell dad jokes, but when I do.

He laughs

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πŸ‘€︎ u/tombola201uk
πŸ“…︎ May 01
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KID : "DAD , make me a sandwich".

DAD : "poof , you are now a sandwich"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/unesb
πŸ“…︎ May 15
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My dad told me that he wished me a deep hole filled with water

I know he meant well

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πŸ‘€︎ u/King_Sparky_
πŸ“…︎ Jun 04
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I asked Dad how he plans to spend the day. He said, "first, Mom and I will go pick up our prescription glasses"

"And then we'll see."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/GeneReddit123
πŸ“…︎ May 29
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Funny 'Dads Anonymous' story to share for the holiday weekend.

"Welcome everyone to Dads Anonymous. Again my name is Bill and you will notice that we have a new member, please welcome Gary -- Can you tell us what brought you to us today?"

"Well I have a very embarrassing confession. It's even hard to get the words out."

Bill reassures him, "We are all dads here and have been meeting for decades, we've been through all the highs and lows, births and deaths, tragedies, we've heard it all. Just tell us what's on your mind son, we are here to support each other."

"Well, a couple months ago, I broke both my legs in a motorcycle accident and couldn't walk, so I let my wife use the lawnmower." He says through the sobs...

Bob, one of the other dads, starts to get pale. "...and she didn't even cut it in a crisp geometric pattern, it was just random..." Bob starts to sweat and get dry heaves. "YOU BASTARD", he screams. "HOW COULD YOU LET THAT HAPPEN." The dads rise and get ready to beat the crap out of Gary, when Bill stands between them and breaks it

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/KW-DadJoker
πŸ“…︎ May 24
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When dad died he left me his Subaru.

It was his final Legacy.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bigfoothobbit
πŸ“…︎ Jan 21
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All dad jokes are really bad and here’s why:

>why

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ustydud
πŸ“…︎ Jan 13
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When does a joke become a Dad joke?

When it's full groan.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/petrifiedgumball
πŸ“…︎ Jan 22
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"Dad, can you tell me what a solar eclipse is?"

No sun.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/AustralianGroan
πŸ“…︎ Mar 22
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My dad didn’t love me as a child, but I don’t really blame him.

I wasn’t born until he was an adult.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ May 08
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Every time I visit my Dad in St. Louis, he walks into the room looking depressed until whatever girl I've brought home for the holidays asks what's wrong...

His reply: "Oh, I live in a state of Missouri."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SoDakZak
πŸ“…︎ Jun 03
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My fucking dad was sending me some credentials, and he attached this photo with it.... Sorry if this doesn't fit here.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Snacks_is_Hungry
πŸ“…︎ May 06
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β€œDad, what is a joke I can post on Reddit to get a lot of upvotes?”

β€œHm, that’s a good question, son. I think I have an idea.”

β€œOkay, dad. What is it?”

β€œYou should post a story about an old man tying balloons to his house to fly away and a Boy Scout joining him as they float down to South America.”

β€œWhy would I post that, dad?”

β€œBecause then when people like it, you’ll get a lot of Up votes.”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/PawneeCityCouncil
πŸ“…︎ May 09
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I'm going to tell my first dad joke

Hi, Going to tell my first dad joke, I'm dad

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πŸ‘€︎ u/xdxdxdk
πŸ“…︎ May 18
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Successful Dad joke I just pulled off on wife. Full groan and everything

Wife: why do dad's have the worst jokes?

Me: It's a rule, dads have to have cringy jokes

Wife: Who makes those rules?

Me: The Dad Poet Society

Wife: groan

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πŸ‘€︎ u/scotland42
πŸ“…︎ Dec 22 2019
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I rode the elevator to the eleventh floor and as I got out, the operator said, β€œHave a good day, son.” I replied, β€œDon’t call me son, you’re not my dad.” He scratched his head and said...

β€œNo, but I brought you up, didn’t I?”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ May 14
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Did you know that you only become an adult after you've heard a terrible dad joke.

You become full groan

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πŸ‘€︎ u/AcidMittens
πŸ“…︎ May 22
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I played my dad in chess yesterday.

He didn't think he would win, but he just wanted to check.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Macricecheese
πŸ“…︎ Apr 23
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Dad: Coffee or tea? Son: Coffee.

Dad: Wrong. It's tea.

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πŸ“…︎ Jun 05
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Dad jokes aren't punny?

That can't be father from the truth.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Datolite7
πŸ“…︎ Jun 05
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Where do you get all of your dad jokes?

From the dada-base. :)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/CaptainJeff
πŸ“…︎ Jun 05
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My family is tired of me telling dad jokes during quarantine.

I replied β€œwhat’s wrong? you don’t like inside jokes?”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/LTenaciouSD
πŸ“…︎ Apr 21
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Dad just hit me with this

A buddhist monk had a religious crisis. He open a tub of margarine and saw the face of Jesus. He said to himself "I can't believe it's not buddha." (Prounounced buddah)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jzeitler121
πŸ“…︎ May 31
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My son is almost 3, and frantically calls me into his room when he should be sleeping. Dad! Dad! Put your finger in my ear... so I do...

"Get outta h-ear!", he says to me.

Made me so proud. Unprompted dad jokes from our little apprentices are just so great.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/yyz-ac
πŸ“…︎ May 19
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A total dad joke I made up last night- What do you call an avocado that's giving you the silent treatment?

An Incommunicado

Eh?!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mdooles11
πŸ“…︎ Apr 26
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Me and my dad went fishing and didn’t lose any gear. However we found a free net.

I guess you could say it was a net gain

Based on a true story

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πŸ‘€︎ u/pancakesnarfer
πŸ“…︎ Jun 05
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Do you know where I come up with all these dad jokes?

I store them in my dad-a-base.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/sarcasticpremed
πŸ“…︎ May 28
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Hey everyone, thanks for keeping this community awesome, but due to several reasons, I've decided to stop making dad jokes, here's why

Why

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πŸ‘€︎ u/vinayjrao
πŸ“…︎ Mar 31
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My dad made this weird joke ages ago

Me

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ogpog_splash
πŸ“…︎ May 09
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If you are sick of dad jokes

Get a doctor

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πŸ‘€︎ u/van_-Dam
πŸ“…︎ Jun 02
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When does a joke become a β€œdad joke”?

When it becomes apparent

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Dmoto85
πŸ“…︎ May 14
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How do you know if it's a dad joke?

It's apparent

πŸ‘︎ 26
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πŸ‘€︎ u/iceberger3
πŸ“…︎ May 19
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When does a joke become a dad joke

When it becomes apparent

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Elmo-The-Assassin
πŸ“…︎ May 18
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Dad, why is that book so thick?

It's a long story..

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πŸ‘€︎ u/RalGard
πŸ“…︎ Apr 24
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