What's the difference between a "male" and a "female"?
TIL Older forms of English kept Latinβs gender-specific suffixes -tor and -trix; tor is for men and trix is for women. So a male pilot is an aviator, a female pilot is an aviatrix. A male fighter is a gladiator, a female fighter is a gladiatrix.
This contrasts with the modern system, where tor is for both men and women, and trix are for kids.
A suspected Covid-19 male patient is lying in bed in the hospital, wearing an oxygen mask over his mouth and nose.
A young student female nurse appears and gives him a partial sponge bath.
"Nurse,"' he mumbles from behind the mask, "are my testicles black?"
Embarrassed, the young nurse replies, "I don't know, Sir. I'm only here to wash your upper body and feet."
He struggles to ask again, "Nurse, please check for me. Are my testicles black?"
Concerned that he might elevate his blood pressure and heart rate from worrying about his testicles, she overcomes her embarrassment and
pulls back the covers.
She raises his gown, holds his manhood in one hand and his testicles gently in the other.
She looks very closely and says, "There's nothing wrong with them, Sir. They look fine."
The man slowly pulls off his oxygen mask, smiles at her, and says very slowly,
"Thank you very much. That was wonderful. Now listen very, very, closely:
"Are - my - test - results - back?"
"Hey honey did you hear they came out with a male birth control cream?"
It's being marketed as Son-block.
What do male genitals and conspiracy theories have in common?
What do you call a narcoleptic male cow who likes to smash things up?
Male anatomy isnβt the same as female anatomy.
In fact, thereβs a Vas Deferens.
Raising chickens at home, just asked my Dad "how do I tell if a baby chick is male or female?"
Dad: "look for the pecker"
The local humane society is giving away male geese for free.
I might go take a gander.
When a male honey bee climaxes during sex, his testicles explode and he dies
Gives a new meaning to "busting a nut"
My friend does the perfect imitation of the offspring of a male donkey and a female horse.
It's a perfect em-mule-ation.
How can you tell if a bird is male?
By looking at itβs pecker.
Imagine a boat made of potatoes shaped like male genitalia... It's a dictatorship
If a adolescent male is a Teen-ager then
A adult male is a Man-ager
The male antenna married the female antenna.
The ceremony wasnβt much, but the reception was terrific!
What do you call your elderly male relative whoβs always taking pictures?
My wife got mad at me for insisting we hire a male masseuse.
She called me a massage-anist.
How do you tell a male chromosome from a female chromosome?
You pull down its "genes"
What do you call Ancient Egyptian males that worship the sun?
Ramen
(Joke derived from u/praetorsolaris)
Where does the food go at the all male soup kitchen?
My male friend with two red headed parents got turned into a cookie today
Not much has changed though, heβs still a ginger-bred man.
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︎ Dec 25 2019
How do you know if an ant is a male or a female?
They're all females, otherwise they'd be uncles
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︎ Nov 16 2019
The discovery of taste buds in the male reproductive organs
gives a new meaning to the word tasty-cles
My male offspring gave me homemade whisky!
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︎ Dec 26 2019
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︎ Nov 29 2019
Female squirrels like to stay close to the males...
... but only 'cause their nuts.
How do you know if a tiger is male or female?
Throw a rock at it. If he runs it's a male. If she runs it's a female.
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︎ Jul 15 2019
Itβs weird that male deer have antlers...
Youβd think theyβd have Unclers.
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︎ Nov 23 2019
What did the professor say when his students wanted to hunt male deer before the first day of class?
"Don't get the hart before the course!"
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︎ Dec 06 2019
What do you call a male ant?
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︎ Sep 15 2019
What do you call a Male deer with only 1 antler?
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︎ Sep 17 2019
As I am checking out, I read his nametag and I ask the large black male cashier, "did your momma really name you Amanda?"
I was very surprised that he responded : "Yes, because I am A Man!"
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︎ Dec 02 2019
To determine the gender of a parrot you have to stick your finger in the cage. If he bites you, he's a male...
If she bites you, she's a female.
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︎ Sep 06 2019
Which kind of dinosaur is attracted to both male and female dinosaurs?
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︎ Oct 27 2019
What do you call male oysters?
Boysters. What do you call bodybuilding oysters?
Hoisters. What do you call oyster pirates?
Ahoysters. What do you call oyster nuns?
Cloisters. What do you call oysters that live under water?
Moisters. What do you call shy oysters?
Coysters. What do you call working class oysters?
Employsters. What do you call oysters with an evil plan?
Ploysters. What do you call singing oysters?
Voiceters.
I should stop before this gets worseter.
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︎ Aug 12 2019
As an only child who is male, I should have been named...
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︎ Sep 13 2019
Fe-male
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︎ Aug 17 2019
I'm going to market a new organic fertilizer made from 100% male chicken manure. It will be sold as
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︎ Oct 31 2019
I identify as a male goose
I guess that makes me transgander.
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︎ Oct 20 2019
Iron man is technically a Fe-male
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︎ Feb 15 2019
For male pornstars, its always a hard day at work.
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︎ Jul 09 2019
The devil is depicted as male, because he is evil with a d...
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︎ Jun 24 2019
What do young male Spanish cows call each other?
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︎ Apr 01 2019
Why did the female mushroom ask the male mushroom on a date?
He seemed like a fun guy.
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︎ Jul 10 2019
Two male FBI agents went to dinner and a movie.
It was a federal man date.
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︎ Aug 14 2019
If you buy a male prostitute in America, you are spending USD to get a US D
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︎ Aug 24 2019
What do you call a male doctor who specializes in necks?
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︎ Sep 16 2019
The lady was quite angry after giving birth to Male twins
Guess they were new sons to her.
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︎ Sep 04 2019
What do you call a male dominatrix?
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︎ Jul 02 2019
What do you call a male Mummy with a cold?
I'm not sure either. Sir Cough I guess.
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︎ Jan 25 2019
What do you call a male ex-bee?
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︎ Jul 17 2019
What do you get when you have 50 female pigs, and 50 male deer?
One hundred "sows and bucks" (100,000 bucks).
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︎ Sep 06 2019
My son has recently been starting to suffer from early male pattern baldness, like I did at his age.
I think itβs haireditery.
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︎ Aug 26 2019
What do you call a male student's society sharing a common belief in a flat earth?
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︎ Sep 22 2019
When males wear stuff made of iron they can change their gender
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︎ Jul 18 2019
Two male zebras in the Zoo started making rap-music...
... they're called the Zbruhs.
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︎ Jul 31 2019
What do you call a male renaissance artist with a bowl of jelly?
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︎ Jul 05 2019
The worlds last male White Rhino died
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︎ Jun 22 2019
What happens when a Male rectangle sees a female rectangle?
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︎ May 03 2019
Jackie Chan recently announced that they have received the surgery to transition from male to female. Though, despite this, the most shocking part of this interview was her saying she will no longer be doing her own stunts.
She just doesnβt have the balls anymore
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︎ Jul 17 2019
The pig mascot of the local college's male social organization died, so they decided to sell its meat...
They called them Frat Brats.
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︎ Jun 29 2019
Did you know that for wingless insects, males will float and females will sink?
That's how you know they're buoyant
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︎ Jun 15 2019
It always felt really weird to me how male authors are obsessed with the female body.
Always going on and on about their webbed feet and soft, insulated....
Oh wait, that's male otters
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︎ Jun 12 2019
What do a male deer and a beaver have in common?
They both have buck teeth.
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︎ May 19 2019
How do you tell the difference between female ants and male ants?
Drop the ant in a glass of water. If it sinks, it's a girl ant. If it floats, it's buoyant.
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︎ Feb 11 2019
Why do male gypsies walk funny?
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︎ May 20 2019
What do you call a male potato with a taste for tyranny?
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︎ Mar 30 2019
What did the Nintendo say when congratulating the two male chefs?
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︎ May 02 2019
My partner is learning about male genitalia and vasectomies
I told her there's a vas deferens between male and female genitalia
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︎ Mar 31 2019
"Why are you telling me this story about a male hen?" I asked the bartender, confused.
He just looked at me and replied, "You asked for a cock tale, sir."
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︎ Nov 19 2018
Why did the male giraffe break up with his girlfriend?
Because she was a cheetah.
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︎ Feb 12 2019
It is said that male cows don't defecate
But as you See this is bullshit
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︎ Apr 09 2019
What do you call a male dog?
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︎ May 04 2019
If iron is Fe and another word for man is male...
Does that make Ironman female?
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︎ May 21 2019
Male porn actors are working hard
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︎ Feb 06 2019
My friend asked me at lunch today what the male parallel for "misogyny" was.
I told him, "Misterogyny".
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︎ Apr 04 2019
Did you know Ironman is actually Fe male
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︎ May 10 2019
What do you call a mentally handicapped young male gymnast born on August 1st?
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︎ Feb 26 2019
I saw an all-male choir performing on the weekend. I said...
..."There are 99 people in that choir."
My son, who was with me, asked, "Wow dad! How did you count them so quickly?"
I replied, "They are singing >!"Africa" by Toto. It's something that a hundred men or more could never do.!<"
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︎ Nov 11 2018
What did the pyromanic pirate say to his male offspring?
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︎ Mar 21 2019
Whats another name for a male model?
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︎ Nov 19 2018
How does the male pedophile witch make potions?
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︎ Feb 06 2019
Where would you find a male programmer orgy?
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︎ Apr 03 2019
What do you call a male ex-bee?
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︎ Jul 17 2019
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