What's the difference between a "male" and a "female"?

Iron.

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πŸ“…︎ Jun 05
🚨︎ report
TIL Older forms of English kept Latin’s gender-specific suffixes -tor and -trix; tor is for men and trix is for women. So a male pilot is an aviator, a female pilot is an aviatrix. A male fighter is a gladiator, a female fighter is a gladiatrix.

This contrasts with the modern system, where tor is for both men and women, and trix are for kids.

πŸ‘︎ 54
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πŸ‘€︎ u/neffability
πŸ“…︎ Jun 02
🚨︎ report
A suspected Covid-19 male patient is lying in bed in the hospital, wearing an oxygen mask over his mouth and nose.

A young student female nurse appears and gives him a partial sponge bath.

"Nurse,"' he mumbles from behind the mask, "are my testicles black?"

Embarrassed, the young nurse replies, "I don't know, Sir. I'm only here to wash your upper body and feet."

He struggles to ask again, "Nurse, please check for me. Are my testicles black?"

Concerned that he might elevate his blood pressure and heart rate from worrying about his testicles, she overcomes her embarrassment and pulls back the covers.

She raises his gown, holds his manhood in one hand and his testicles gently in the other.

She looks very closely and says, "There's nothing wrong with them, Sir. They look fine."

The man slowly pulls off his oxygen mask, smiles at her, and says very slowly,

"Thank you very much. That was wonderful. Now listen very, very, closely:

"Are - my - test - results - back?"

πŸ‘︎ 251
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RabbitHODL
πŸ“…︎ Apr 08
🚨︎ report
"Hey honey did you hear they came out with a male birth control cream?"

It's being marketed as Son-block.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SerbianTarHeel
πŸ“…︎ May 23
🚨︎ report
What do male genitals and conspiracy theories have in common?

They’re bollocks.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Lowlands62
πŸ“…︎ May 25
🚨︎ report
What do you call a narcoleptic male cow who likes to smash things up?

A bull dozer.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ“…︎ Apr 30
🚨︎ report
Male anatomy isn’t the same as female anatomy.

In fact, there’s a Vas Deferens.

πŸ‘︎ 171
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kilokiilo
πŸ“…︎ Feb 19
🚨︎ report
Raising chickens at home, just asked my Dad "how do I tell if a baby chick is male or female?"

Dad: "look for the pecker"

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/pillowblood
πŸ“…︎ Mar 30
🚨︎ report
The local humane society is giving away male geese for free.

I might go take a gander.

πŸ‘︎ 155
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πŸ‘€︎ u/habsfan1112
πŸ“…︎ Mar 08
🚨︎ report
When a male honey bee climaxes during sex, his testicles explode and he dies

Gives a new meaning to "busting a nut"

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Terrarialord9013
πŸ“…︎ Mar 20
🚨︎ report
My friend does the perfect imitation of the offspring of a male donkey and a female horse.

It's a perfect em-mule-ation.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Apr 04
🚨︎ report
How can you tell if a bird is male?

By looking at it’s pecker.

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/paleo_primate
πŸ“…︎ Mar 17
🚨︎ report
Imagine a boat made of potatoes shaped like male genitalia... It's a dictatorship
πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AJayeBird
πŸ“…︎ Feb 02
🚨︎ report
If a adolescent male is a Teen-ager then

A adult male is a Man-ager

πŸ‘︎ 38
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rampant_Ranger
πŸ“…︎ Feb 19
🚨︎ report
The male antenna married the female antenna.

The ceremony wasn’t much, but the reception was terrific!

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/anlenke
πŸ“…︎ Feb 20
🚨︎ report
What do you call your elderly male relative who’s always taking pictures?

Papa Razzi

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/42alj
πŸ“…︎ Feb 16
🚨︎ report
My wife got mad at me for insisting we hire a male masseuse.

She called me a massage-anist.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/bobskimo
πŸ“…︎ Feb 14
🚨︎ report
How do you tell a male chromosome from a female chromosome?

You pull down its "genes"

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/smashedmelon618
πŸ“…︎ Feb 10
🚨︎ report
What do you call Ancient Egyptian males that worship the sun?

Ramen

(Joke derived from u/praetorsolaris)

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TROLLDLLR
πŸ“…︎ Feb 09
🚨︎ report
Where does the food go at the all male soup kitchen?

Indigents

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/boogerknows
πŸ“…︎ Jan 26
🚨︎ report
My male friend with two red headed parents got turned into a cookie today

Not much has changed though, he’s still a ginger-bred man.

πŸ‘︎ 69
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πŸ‘€︎ u/A-T-P
πŸ“…︎ Dec 25 2019
🚨︎ report
How do you know if an ant is a male or a female?

They're all females, otherwise they'd be uncles

πŸ‘︎ 56
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ResponsibleDust0
πŸ“…︎ Nov 16 2019
🚨︎ report
The discovery of taste buds in the male reproductive organs

gives a new meaning to the word tasty-cles

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/bb-m
πŸ“…︎ Jan 17
🚨︎ report
My male offspring gave me homemade whisky!

It's my son-shine

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Dec 26 2019
🚨︎ report
Life cycle of the male sex drive reddit.com/r/Jokes/commen…
πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/bapposhallhacko
πŸ“…︎ Nov 29 2019
🚨︎ report
Female squirrels like to stay close to the males...

... but only 'cause their nuts.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Naitraen
πŸ“…︎ Jan 02
🚨︎ report
How do you know if a tiger is male or female?

Throw a rock at it. If he runs it's a male. If she runs it's a female.

πŸ‘︎ 122
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AciTroniX
πŸ“…︎ Jul 15 2019
🚨︎ report
It’s weird that male deer have antlers...

You’d think they’d have Unclers.

πŸ‘︎ 30
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jhuderis
πŸ“…︎ Nov 23 2019
🚨︎ report
What did the professor say when his students wanted to hunt male deer before the first day of class?

"Don't get the hart before the course!"

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ChargingTiger
πŸ“…︎ Dec 06 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call a male ant?

An uncle.

πŸ‘︎ 21
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DrumSpace
πŸ“…︎ Sep 15 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call a Male deer with only 1 antler?

50 cents

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Kmusic12
πŸ“…︎ Sep 17 2019
🚨︎ report
As I am checking out, I read his nametag and I ask the large black male cashier, "did your momma really name you Amanda?"

I was very surprised that he responded : "Yes, because I am A Man!"

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πŸ“…︎ Dec 02 2019
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To determine the gender of a parrot you have to stick your finger in the cage. If he bites you, he's a male...

If she bites you, she's a female.

πŸ‘︎ 78
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jan_Tik
πŸ“…︎ Sep 06 2019
🚨︎ report
Which kind of dinosaur is attracted to both male and female dinosaurs?

A biceratops

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/budcuddly
πŸ“…︎ Oct 27 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call male oysters?

Boysters. What do you call bodybuilding oysters?

Hoisters. What do you call oyster pirates?

Ahoysters. What do you call oyster nuns?

Cloisters. What do you call oysters that live under water?

Moisters. What do you call shy oysters?

Coysters. What do you call working class oysters?

Employsters. What do you call oysters with an evil plan?

Ploysters. What do you call singing oysters?

Voiceters.

I should stop before this gets worseter.

πŸ‘︎ 46
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πŸ‘€︎ u/OiTheRolk
πŸ“…︎ Aug 12 2019
🚨︎ report
As an only child who is male, I should have been named...

Solomon.

πŸ‘︎ 32
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πŸ‘€︎ u/neverwastetheday
πŸ“…︎ Sep 13 2019
🚨︎ report
Fe-male
πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Peepo7
πŸ“…︎ Aug 17 2019
🚨︎ report
I'm going to market a new organic fertilizer made from 100% male chicken manure. It will be sold as

Cockadoodle-do-do.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/slowshot
πŸ“…︎ Oct 31 2019
🚨︎ report
I identify as a male goose

I guess that makes me transgander.

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Valdagast
πŸ“…︎ Oct 20 2019
🚨︎ report
Iron man is technically a Fe-male
πŸ‘︎ 171
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DandelionGaming
πŸ“…︎ Feb 15 2019
🚨︎ report
For male pornstars, its always a hard day at work.
πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/bpersistent
πŸ“…︎ Jul 09 2019
🚨︎ report
The devil is depicted as male, because he is evil with a d...
πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Patati
πŸ“…︎ Jun 24 2019
🚨︎ report
What do young male Spanish cows call each other?

Moo-chachos.

πŸ‘︎ 177
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JoeFas
πŸ“…︎ Apr 01 2019
🚨︎ report
Why did the female mushroom ask the male mushroom on a date?

He seemed like a fun guy.

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/johnblu5
πŸ“…︎ Jul 10 2019
🚨︎ report
Two male FBI agents went to dinner and a movie.

It was a federal man date.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/_otterinabox
πŸ“…︎ Aug 14 2019
🚨︎ report
If you buy a male prostitute in America, you are spending USD to get a US D
πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ooy003
πŸ“…︎ Aug 24 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call a male doctor who specializes in necks?

A guy-neck-ologist

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ToothSleuth86
πŸ“…︎ Sep 16 2019
🚨︎ report
The lady was quite angry after giving birth to Male twins

Guess they were new sons to her.

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/i_am_ss
πŸ“…︎ Sep 04 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call a male dominatrix?

Domino

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/KuraiBaka
πŸ“…︎ Jul 02 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call a male Mummy with a cold?

I'm not sure either. Sir Cough I guess.

πŸ‘︎ 209
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πŸ‘€︎ u/shycancouple
πŸ“…︎ Jan 25 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call a male ex-bee?

Mr.Bean

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ“…︎ Jul 17 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you get when you have 50 female pigs, and 50 male deer?

One hundred "sows and bucks" (100,000 bucks).

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SirFluffyChicken
πŸ“…︎ Sep 06 2019
🚨︎ report
My son has recently been starting to suffer from early male pattern baldness, like I did at his age.

I think itβ€˜s haireditery.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/carotoffel
πŸ“…︎ Aug 26 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call a male student's society sharing a common belief in a flat earth?

A flaternity.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/steelpan
πŸ“…︎ Sep 22 2019
🚨︎ report
When males wear stuff made of iron they can change their gender

They become females.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RohanTheGreat123
πŸ“…︎ Jul 18 2019
🚨︎ report
Two male zebras in the Zoo started making rap-music...

... they're called the Zbruhs.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/stgm_at
πŸ“…︎ Jul 31 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call a male renaissance artist with a bowl of jelly?

Michael and jello.

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dens382
πŸ“…︎ Jul 05 2019
🚨︎ report
The worlds last male White Rhino died

To me it was quite Sudan

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ“…︎ Jun 22 2019
🚨︎ report
What happens when a Male rectangle sees a female rectangle?

It becomes an erectangle

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/alex2502
πŸ“…︎ May 03 2019
🚨︎ report
Jackie Chan recently announced that they have received the surgery to transition from male to female. Though, despite this, the most shocking part of this interview was her saying she will no longer be doing her own stunts.

She just doesn’t have the balls anymore

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ohsopoor
πŸ“…︎ Jul 17 2019
🚨︎ report
The pig mascot of the local college's male social organization died, so they decided to sell its meat...

They called them Frat Brats.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Jun 29 2019
🚨︎ report
Did you know that for wingless insects, males will float and females will sink?

That's how you know they're buoyant

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Chateau512
πŸ“…︎ Jun 15 2019
🚨︎ report
It always felt really weird to me how male authors are obsessed with the female body.

Always going on and on about their webbed feet and soft, insulated.... Oh wait, that's male otters

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/man_nowhere
πŸ“…︎ Jun 12 2019
🚨︎ report
What do a male deer and a beaver have in common?

They both have buck teeth.

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/deliquipykungpoo
πŸ“…︎ May 19 2019
🚨︎ report
How do you tell the difference between female ants and male ants?

Drop the ant in a glass of water. If it sinks, it's a girl ant. If it floats, it's buoyant.

πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SpankMeDaddy22
πŸ“…︎ Feb 11 2019
🚨︎ report
Why do male gypsies walk funny?

They have crystal balls.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/tds_dgs
πŸ“…︎ May 20 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call a male potato with a taste for tyranny?

A dick-tater

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Shitty_Orangutan
πŸ“…︎ Mar 30 2019
🚨︎ report
What did the Nintendo say when congratulating the two male chefs?

Super Mash Bros.

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TommehBoi
πŸ“…︎ May 02 2019
🚨︎ report
My partner is learning about male genitalia and vasectomies

I told her there's a vas deferens between male and female genitalia

πŸ‘︎ 32
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πŸ‘€︎ u/izzydoesizzy
πŸ“…︎ Mar 31 2019
🚨︎ report
"Why are you telling me this story about a male hen?" I asked the bartender, confused.

He just looked at me and replied, "You asked for a cock tale, sir."

πŸ‘︎ 131
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TommehBoi
πŸ“…︎ Nov 19 2018
🚨︎ report
Why did the male giraffe break up with his girlfriend?

Because she was a cheetah.

πŸ‘︎ 27
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Keychain33
πŸ“…︎ Feb 12 2019
🚨︎ report
It is said that male cows don't defecate

But as you See this is bullshit

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jaku2201
πŸ“…︎ Apr 09 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call a male dog?

A son of a bitch

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Adumnin
πŸ“…︎ May 04 2019
🚨︎ report
If iron is Fe and another word for man is male...

Does that make Ironman female?

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Th0rst31N
πŸ“…︎ May 21 2019
🚨︎ report
Male porn actors are working hard
πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ“…︎ Feb 06 2019
🚨︎ report
My friend asked me at lunch today what the male parallel for "misogyny" was.

I told him, "Misterogyny".

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/EndlessTilt
πŸ“…︎ Apr 04 2019
🚨︎ report
Did you know Ironman is actually Fe male

May he Rust In Peace

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SandyHoey
πŸ“…︎ May 10 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call a mentally handicapped young male gymnast born on August 1st?

A leotard.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/False_Grit
πŸ“…︎ Feb 26 2019
🚨︎ report
I saw an all-male choir performing on the weekend. I said...

..."There are 99 people in that choir."

My son, who was with me, asked, "Wow dad! How did you count them so quickly?"

I replied, "They are singing >!"Africa" by Toto. It's something that a hundred men or more could never do.!<"

πŸ‘︎ 38
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πŸ‘€︎ u/td941
πŸ“…︎ Nov 11 2018
🚨︎ report
What did the pyromanic pirate say to his male offspring?

ARRson

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/D3monPixel
πŸ“…︎ Mar 21 2019
🚨︎ report
Whats another name for a male model?

A letter template.

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Defendedclone
πŸ“…︎ Nov 19 2018
🚨︎ report
How does the male pedophile witch make potions?
πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Zylrilla
πŸ“…︎ Feb 06 2019
🚨︎ report
Where would you find a male programmer orgy?

RAM Ranch.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Apr 03 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call a male ex-bee?

Mr. Bean

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ“…︎ Jul 17 2019
🚨︎ report

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