A "Beast-ie" Boys pun
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πŸ“…︎ Nov 06 2014
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A little boy ran up to me " please help, my Dad is in a fight " I followed and we came across two men fighting. I said, " Ok, which one is your Dad ? " ..

.. " I dunno, that's what they're fighting about "

πŸ‘︎ 16k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HugoZHackenbush2
πŸ“…︎ Jan 22
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Catboy is a boy with cat ears and catgirl is a girl with cat ears

Since I’m neither gender with cat ears, does that make me Nyan-binary?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheEnBoi
πŸ“…︎ Jan 15
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A German boy pushes his brother off a cliff.

β€œLook mom, no Hans!”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/cyclopropagative
πŸ“…︎ Jan 10
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How do you know if an ant is a boy or a girl?

They’re all girls, otherwise they’d be uncles!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/vissik
πŸ“…︎ Dec 29 2020
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What’s the longest boy name?

Miles.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/afarro
πŸ“…︎ Jan 13
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Boy, that second impeachment...

...really trumps the first one.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/LaserGecko
πŸ“…︎ Jan 14
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A man went to the doctor’s and told him, β€œI feel like such a failure. All five of my boys want to be valets when they grow up.”

He said, β€œWow, that’s the worst case of parking son’s disease I’ve ever seen.”

πŸ‘︎ 11k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/cyclopropagative
πŸ“…︎ Sep 17 2020
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A small boy went to sex ed class and then asked his father

is this a dad joke? No, son, its not. he replied. Can we stop it with all the sex jokes please? they aren't dad jokes and probably belong in plain old /r/jokes.

Sorry for the anti joke here, but its really getting old.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/IGotSkills
πŸ“…︎ Jan 02
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A buffalo dropped his boy off at school and said...

Bison

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πŸ“…︎ Jan 04
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Three boys go into a haunted house. One brought a knife, one brought a gun and one brought some cough drops

They crept in. It was pitch black and stone quiet. They were suddenly starting to regret this dare. Stupidly, only one brought a flash light. The aggressive darkness and inky black yielded with grudging compliance but always seeming to push back. They moved cautiously onward amid the dust and cobwebs. The floor creaked. They breathed in tight, quick breaths. You could hear a pin drop.

Suddenly, there was a deep moan. "OOOOOOOOUUUUU". It seemed from below them. The house had been abandoned for years. Who or what could make such a sound? The boys looked at each other, but continued on, hearts pounding in their chests.

As they proceeded into the kitchen they encountered a swarm of flies. Buzzing and beating their necks and faces, they rushed and stumbled to the door, not stopping to see what they were truly feasting on. They slammed the door behind them. Maybe a body? But no way were they going back to find out. And again came the sound, "ooooOOOOOooooOOUUU" but louder this time, and

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 12k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/billbixbyakahulk
πŸ“…︎ Aug 05 2020
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Why are boy keyboards scared of girl keyboards?

They don’t want to get qwerties.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/cman_yall
πŸ“…︎ Dec 22 2020
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It has been scientifically proven that girls reach the age of puberty earlier than boys. Girls develop boobies around the age of thirteen...

...and boys develop them around the age of forty…

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πŸ‘€︎ u/honolulu_oahu_mod
πŸ“…︎ Dec 26 2020
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my wife and I found out that our boy was convicted of burning down houses

no matter what he's still arson

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ax3-_-
πŸ“…︎ Nov 03 2020
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Did you know that all Danish Boy Scouts have to get a tattoo?

It's their Denmark.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/onetwopi
πŸ“…︎ Nov 25 2020
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For his birthday, a boy wants a pet spider.

His dad takes him to an exotic pet store, where they see a big, hairy spider. The father asks how much it costs. β€œThat’s fifty dollars,” the clerk replies.

β€œFifty bucks!” the dad exclaims. β€œForget that, I’ll just find a cheap one off the web.”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/daviscojokes
πŸ“…︎ Jan 24
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So the doctor sat me down and gently revealed to me me that my child is a boy trapped in a girls body...

...Until my wife gives birth that is. Only three more months to go!

πŸ‘︎ 14k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RealTheAsh
πŸ“…︎ Jul 22 2020
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My wife gave birth to our baby boy otw to the hospital...

We named him Carson.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Cromlorde
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2020
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When my boys were playing ball, they accused me of spraying the ball with the watering hose. I didn't spray it.

I mist it.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/brichouse
πŸ“…︎ Dec 29 2020
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I'm a very nutty boy
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Heimthror
πŸ“…︎ Nov 21 2020
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How do you describe bench-press obsessed army boys insulting each other while they're being shot at?

Chest nuts roasting in open fire

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πŸ‘€︎ u/petertree
πŸ“…︎ Jan 02
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@my office: 4 yr boy says β€œwhy did the Christmas cookie go to the dentist?”

Because he had Ginger-vitis!

That father had the biggest smile on his face.. happy holidays everybody!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/tizom
πŸ“…︎ Dec 27 2020
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Dad holds baby boy

Baby smiles and starts to coo. "Hai ku, I am dad."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Kerlandays
πŸ“…︎ Nov 16 2020
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What did the Japanese man say when he saw his boy scratch his leg?

1 2, 3?

Edit: read the numbers in Japanese

πŸ‘︎ 24
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DiamondChocobos
πŸ“…︎ Oct 17 2020
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Patel was teaching a boy named Ed basic geometry, which he was failing to grasp even on the most basic levels. He mistook squares for triangles, circles for hexagons and so on...

So Patel tried to go to the lowest level and put a dot on the paper.

"What this, Ed?"

"A line?" the boy replied.

"I... I expected more from you. I'm... This a point, Ed."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/alkaath
πŸ“…︎ Nov 09 2020
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My favorite holiday drink is the Little Drummer Boy...

It's one part rum, three parts pum.

(A favorite of mine from Tim Seidell)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/metermind
πŸ“…︎ Dec 11 2020
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Those Duke boys sure do like to jump their car over things...

... General Lee speaking.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/djxiii
πŸ“…︎ Nov 13 2020
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more like ham boys
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πŸ‘€︎ u/LazyYoda
πŸ“…︎ Sep 22 2020
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I entered my sons room and said, "Remember, boy, masturbating can make you go blind."

"I'm over here dad." He replied.

πŸ‘︎ 1k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/OliPark
πŸ“…︎ Jul 27 2020
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My Spanish friends little boy still can't say please....

And I think it's poor for four.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Nov 25 2020
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I went to an exotic petting zoo with Boy George. He wasn't at all impressed with their limited range of animals.

He started pointing them out to me.

"Llama, llama, llama, llama, llama, chameleon."

++++++++++++++++++

I thought of this today while driving and smacked my wheel as I giggled. My girlfriend stared at me, bemused and confused.

I like it. I'm proud of myself.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/zipflop
πŸ“…︎ Sep 19 2020
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So, a boy tells a girl a joke...

He says "what do you call it when an environmentalist sets a forest on fire?"

She says "I don't know."

He says "Treeson." The girl laughs

He follows saying "Yknow, if you'd like more of these jokes, I got them from a cool source if you're interested."

The girl says "Yes, I'm interested."

The boy then replies "Good to know SOMEONE is interested in me."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Nicholas-Pressey
πŸ“…︎ Dec 04 2020
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My time in the Boy Scouts really made me a supporter of gay marriage

It’s where I learned you can tie the knot in different ways

πŸ‘︎ 36
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πŸ‘€︎ u/8675309ice
πŸ“…︎ Oct 16 2020
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Remember boys, if your girl looks like this, she's a kiefer.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/boyfriendZero
πŸ“…︎ Oct 19 2020
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Why did the boy throw the butter out the window?

He wanted to see a butter-fly!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MangoAway17
πŸ“…︎ Nov 17 2020
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How did the boy whose glasses were stolen find them?

He had his contacts

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MangoAway17
πŸ“…︎ Nov 17 2020
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I just walked 5 miles, and boy...

... are my calves mooing.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kiltebeest
πŸ“…︎ Nov 10 2020
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A boy knocks his father down the stairs in a freak accident.

The father breaks his neck and dies, leaving his son to mourn for days. However, one night, the boy wakes up to see an apparition of his father before him. All at once, he breaks down crying, and screams out, "I'm sorry!"

His father responds, "Hi Sorry, I'm dead!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/aquarian9
πŸ“…︎ Aug 23 2020
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I was once a boy trapped in a woman’s body

Then I was born

πŸ‘︎ 1k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thisispeculiar
πŸ“…︎ Jun 29 2020
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Meats back on the menu boys
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πŸ‘€︎ u/K1ng_art
πŸ“…︎ Sep 04 2020
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What do you call a robotic boy that delivers messages?

E-male.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Twillo_11
πŸ“…︎ Nov 06 2020
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SPONGEBOB ME BOY

I HAVE FINALLY SEQUENCED THE HUMAN GENOME

ACGACGACGACGACAGACG

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jimjam916
πŸ“…︎ Nov 10 2020
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There’s a big thunderstorm. The road is blocked by a big mudslide. A little boy asks his dad, β€œWhy does earth fall down like that?”

His dad answers, β€œIt’s terrain.”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ellegirl82091
πŸ“…︎ Oct 28 2020
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It has been scientifically proven that girls reach the age of puberty earlier than boys…

Girls develop tits around the age of thirteen, boys develop them around the age of forty…

πŸ‘︎ 23
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πŸ‘€︎ u/honolulu_oahu_mod
πŸ“…︎ Dec 14 2020
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