.. " I dunno, that's what they're fighting about "
Since I’m neither gender with cat ears, does that make me Nyan-binary?
“Look mom, no Hans!”
They’re all girls, otherwise they’d be uncles!
...really trumps the first one.
He said, “Wow, that’s the worst case of parking son’s disease I’ve ever seen.”
is this a dad joke? No, son, its not. he replied. Can we stop it with all the sex jokes please? they aren't dad jokes and probably belong in plain old /r/jokes.
Sorry for the anti joke here, but its really getting old.
They crept in. It was pitch black and stone quiet. They were suddenly starting to regret this dare. Stupidly, only one brought a flash light. The aggressive darkness and inky black yielded with grudging compliance but always seeming to push back. They moved cautiously onward amid the dust and cobwebs. The floor creaked. They breathed in tight, quick breaths. You could hear a pin drop.
Suddenly, there was a deep moan. "OOOOOOOOUUUUU". It seemed from below them. The house had been abandoned for years. Who or what could make such a sound? The boys looked at each other, but continued on, hearts pounding in their chests.
As they proceeded into the kitchen they encountered a swarm of flies. Buzzing and beating their necks and faces, they rushed and stumbled to the door, not stopping to see what they were truly feasting on. They slammed the door behind them. Maybe a body? But no way were they going back to find out. And again came the sound, "ooooOOOOOooooOOUUU" but louder this time, and... keep reading on reddit ➡
They don’t want to get qwerties.
...and boys develop them around the age of forty…
no matter what he's still arson
It's their Denmark.
His dad takes him to an exotic pet store, where they see a big, hairy spider. The father asks how much it costs. “That’s fifty dollars,” the clerk replies.
“Fifty bucks!” the dad exclaims. “Forget that, I’ll just find a cheap one off the web.”
...Until my wife gives birth that is. Only three more months to go!
We named him Carson.
I mist it.
Chest nuts roasting in open fire
Because he had Ginger-vitis!
That father had the biggest smile on his face.. happy holidays everybody!
Baby smiles and starts to coo. "Hai ku, I am dad."
1 2, 3?
Edit: read the numbers in Japanese
So Patel tried to go to the lowest level and put a dot on the paper.
"What this, Ed?"
"A line?" the boy replied.
"I... I expected more from you. I'm... This a point, Ed."
It's one part rum, three parts pum.
(A favorite of mine from Tim Seidell)
... General Lee speaking.
"I'm over here dad." He replied.
And I think it's poor for four.
He started pointing them out to me.
"Llama, llama, llama, llama, llama, chameleon."
I thought of this today while driving and smacked my wheel as I giggled. My girlfriend stared at me, bemused and confused.
I like it. I'm proud of myself.
He says "what do you call it when an environmentalist sets a forest on fire?"
She says "I don't know."
He says "Treeson." The girl laughs
He follows saying "Yknow, if you'd like more of these jokes, I got them from a cool source if you're interested."
The girl says "Yes, I'm interested."
The boy then replies "Good to know SOMEONE is interested in me."
It’s where I learned you can tie the knot in different ways
He wanted to see a butter-fly!
He had his contacts
... are my calves mooing.
The father breaks his neck and dies, leaving his son to mourn for days. However, one night, the boy wakes up to see an apparition of his father before him. All at once, he breaks down crying, and screams out, "I'm sorry!"
His father responds, "Hi Sorry, I'm dead!"
Then I was born
I HAVE FINALLY SEQUENCED THE HUMAN GENOME
His dad answers, “It’s terrain.”