Sorry I've been so quiet here today. I've been keeping a close eye on the local news. Apparently there's a lad going around stabbing people with knitting needles.
Police say he may be following a pattern.
Lad from work has just texted me and told me heβs caught Covid from his cat.
Donβt ask meow.
A lad asks his granny, "Have you seen my pills, they were labelled L.S.D.?"
Granny replied, "Never mind the pills. Have you seen the dragons in the kitchen?"
What happens when you put a bunch of lads together?
You get a ladder
Had too many drinks at the pub last night, so the lads suggested I leave the car there and take the bus home.
Turns out I was in no fit state to drive it home either.
I kicked my lad out because he told me he now identifies as a cow
I was like 'bye-son'
I was examining a lad's driving test.
At the end, he stopped us outside the test centre.
"You know," I began, "alcohol really impairs someone's judgements..."
The lad's lip quivered, "But I'm not drunk, mister."
"No," I replied, "I am, and you've passed."
As a lad, I was always afraid of water coming from the ground...
I was a spring chicken.
When I was a wee lad, my thoughts were focused on the number 144.
I was engrossed
What does a short lad need to look a tall lad in the eyes?
A ladder.
How do big lads measure temperature?
Kelvin.
Because theyβre ABSOLUTE UNITS
A really stupid joke i told as a young lad
What do you call a witch on the beach? A sandwitch (hallarious please laugh)
Me and the lads did a Lord of The Rings marathon last weekend
Ran 26 miles dressed as Gandalf
In awe at the size of this lad. Absolute unit.
Why won't a lad drown in the ocean?
Because of boy-and-sea
Whats the difference between dad and lad?
The D!!!
My lad got arrested for setting a house on fire...
the police told me it was arson.
