I hear it's easy to get ladies not to eat Tide pods. It's more difficult to deter gents, though.
πŸ‘︎ 12k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Boomkiller
πŸ“…︎ Jan 21 2018
🚨︎ report
Brad Sherwood ladies and gents!
πŸ‘︎ 38
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πŸ‘€︎ u/nascarfan624
πŸ“…︎ Aug 07 2019
🚨︎ report
"Ladies and Gents"

That concludes our tour of the toilets

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kickypie
πŸ“…︎ Dec 29 2019
🚨︎ report
Katowice 2019 ladies and gents
πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Vimed
πŸ“…︎ Mar 01 2019
🚨︎ report
A short man posting here might be a little Pun Gent
πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/The_Possum
πŸ“…︎ Feb 12 2017
🚨︎ report
Ladies and Gents, meet my dad:
πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RakdosUnleashed
πŸ“…︎ Jun 04 2015
🚨︎ report
Ladies and Gents, my father thinking he is hilarious imgur.com/ofcG35P
πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VanDelay_Industry
πŸ“…︎ Nov 20 2013
🚨︎ report
Came out of a restroom and encountered an old gent...

When I greeted him he replied "Everything come out all right?"

If I hadn't just gone, I would've pissed myself.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/diaxaces
πŸ“…︎ Apr 03 2015
🚨︎ report
What do you call a guy who stinks at wordplay?

A pungent pun gent.

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JukeboxSommelier
πŸ“…︎ Dec 13 2020
🚨︎ report
Her personality is like a box of Tide

All it does is deter gents

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/eventualmente
πŸ“…︎ Dec 18 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a British guy when he has good manners, bad hygiene, and an affinity for word play?

PunGent

Tried posting in Dad jokes sub and I guess it was the wrong place for a triple pun.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Nov 15 2020
🚨︎ report
At the beach, opposite the life guard, a man sleeps on a towel, adjacent an unopened umbrella.

When he wakes up, he's going to be a tan gent.

πŸ‘︎ 49
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Sep 23 2020
🚨︎ report
I once knew a guy that liked to bask in the sun. He touched my circle of friends but did not enter it...

He was a real tan gent.

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Jun 16 2020
🚨︎ report
Why are men attracted to cleaning ladies?

Because they deter gents

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dubaidadjokes
πŸ“…︎ Jul 05 2020
🚨︎ report
Getting ladies to stop eating Tide pods was relatively easy.

But for whatever reason, it was much more difficult to deter gents.

πŸ‘︎ 38
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Chateau512
πŸ“…︎ Jan 24 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a smart metal guitarist?

An intellidjent guitarist!

Djent is pronounced like "gent" btw

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jan 13 2020
🚨︎ report
man walks into a bar...

A man walks into a bar and orders a beer, he hears a voice and realises it's coming from the bowl of peanuts on the bar "Looking very smart tonight sir and that cologne is hitting all the right notes. Oh yes!"

Somewhat taken aback, but also feeling confident he goes to the Gents to buy some condoms. Just as he's about to put the coins in a voice comes out of the machine "Don't waste your money mate! You haven't got a chance with the ladies tonight."

Astonished at this he relays all this to the barmaid. "Ah, thats easy to explain, the nuts are Complimentary and the condom machine is Out Of Order.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/PompeyNige
πŸ“…︎ Aug 07 2019
🚨︎ report
Why doesn't Heinz Doofenshmirtz build inators in men's restrooms?

Because he would be defeated by a gent pee.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/paPAneta
πŸ“…︎ Jun 21 2019
🚨︎ report
Mike "The Situation" Sorrentino is the biggest jerk in the world.

Sorry, I'm going off on a tan gent.

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HuckChaser
πŸ“…︎ Apr 16 2019
🚨︎ report
If a polite but unclean man was heavily into wordplay...

...would he have a pun-gent odor?

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Spotted_Lady
πŸ“…︎ Sep 09 2018
🚨︎ report
*knock knock* "Who's there?"

"Pun-patrol! You s-pun around on your chair way beyond government regulations!"

"I can't help it! I'm pun-sexual!"

"Sir, o-pun the door or we will have to use force!"

"Stay back! I have a hostage! I don't care if my crimes will ever get ex-pun-ged!"

"Lay down your wea-pun! Face your pun-ishment!"

"Sir, I just arrived and can confirm, he has a Pun-da!"

"Thank god for your pun-ctuality! This changes everything! Now go and pun-ch down the door!"

crashing noises

"Sir! We have fumes! God, what is this pun-gent smell??"

"Ahaha, you ran into my trap! Now die, Pun-k!"

"AAAAAAAAAAH!"

silence

"No time for com-pun-ction. Come, S-pun-ky, we need to leave. Let's head for Pun-ama."

EDIT: formatting.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/D0tBlue
πŸ“…︎ Apr 02 2019
🚨︎ report
I know a guy who is good at wordplay and he also has a strong odour.

He is pun gent.

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sodomicity
πŸ“…︎ Jan 30 2019
🚨︎ report
Probably not very many women are doing the tide pod challenge

But it's a lot more difficult to deter gents.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Chopchopchops
πŸ“…︎ Jan 28 2018
🚨︎ report
The geometry teacher went to Hawaii

When he came back, he was a tan gent

πŸ‘︎ 53
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RatRiddled
πŸ“…︎ May 09 2017
🚨︎ report
What do you call a male math professor who just went on vacation?

A tan gent.

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/i_iz_smrt
πŸ“…︎ May 11 2017
🚨︎ report
Dad Jokes in a Snowstorm

This seriously just happened to my sister. Background: I live in CT, and we just got a big snowstorm.

Dad: We got more snow than Buffalo this year. Sister: Wow... Really? Dad: Yep. So far we got about 18 inches of snow and not a single buffalo.

My dad, ladies and gents.

πŸ‘︎ 148
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bagellum
πŸ“…︎ Jan 04 2014
🚨︎ report
Yestarday I saw a commercial for a friendly robot mixers.

Now that's what I call Artificial in-telly gents.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Kantoros1
πŸ“…︎ Feb 22 2018
🚨︎ report
Got my wife good this morning.

I'm making hash browns and she says "we need to get a griddle".

My response, "yeah, maybe we can get a Hansell to go with it".

I may be sleeping on the couch tonight gents. Worth it.

πŸ‘︎ 55
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πŸ‘€︎ u/chaingunXD
πŸ“…︎ Feb 14 2015
🚨︎ report
I'm a nice guy, and I love wordplay...

But everyone around me says I give off a real pun gent smell

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Dantwz
πŸ“…︎ Feb 22 2017
🚨︎ report
What do you call the dapper bouncer at the local laundromat?

The Deter Gent.

;D

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Asterisk49
πŸ“…︎ Sep 07 2015
🚨︎ report
A couple of dad jokes from the father-in-law (mild language)

Dunlap Disease:

Everytime we pass a fairly overweight person, he says:

Him: "Poor guy, he's got Dunlap's Disease. His belly done lapped over his pants."

Dicky-Do Disease:

Him: "Poor guy, he's got the Dicky-do Disease. His stomach pokes farther out than his dicky do."

My father-in-law, ladies and gents.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Top_Drawer
πŸ“…︎ Apr 06 2014
🚨︎ report
My dad is at Disneyland

I like star wars. My dad knows this. My dad had never been a "dad joke" sort of person. He is an accountant by trade and other than being family we have never been very close. My sister jokes about it even. But he is my dad and I love him.

He has been mellowing in recent years now that both kids are out of the house. Oh yeah, and that whole nearly dying during an emergency surgery thing a few years back.

Anyway, tonight he texts me out of nowhere. And hits me with this: http://imgur.com/Qq6S6PA (transcript below)

"How do you know you have a wookie cookie?"

"... I don't know. How?"

"it's Chewwie"

My dad ladies and gents. Has just joined the dad joke Club.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/drakythe
πŸ“…︎ Dec 07 2013
🚨︎ report
A Celebration of Dad Jokes

this isn't strictly a dad joke, but our local NPR affiliate in Philadelphia had a celebration of dad jokes today, and I figured you gents might be interested. They do give credit to reddit for the rise of dadjokes.

A Celebration of Dad Jokes

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/cschrader
πŸ“…︎ Jun 19 2015
🚨︎ report
I hear it's easy to get ladies not to eat Tide pods. It's more difficult to deter gents, though.
πŸ‘︎ 27
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ruchi565
πŸ“…︎ Oct 07 2019
🚨︎ report
Ladies, and Gents.

That concludes our tour of the toilets.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/junkersuk
πŸ“…︎ Dec 28 2015
🚨︎ report
It's easy to convince ladies not to eat Tide Pods

But its harder to deter gents

πŸ‘︎ 14k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/HellsJuggernaut
πŸ“…︎ Feb 11 2020
🚨︎ report
Clean fun

I hear it's easy to convince ladies

not to eat Tide Pods. But it's harder

to deter gents.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/MilPens
πŸ“…︎ Jan 22 2020
🚨︎ report
It’s easy to deter ladies from eating tide pods

But it’s more difficult to deter gents

πŸ‘︎ 37
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/qscjkudc
πŸ“…︎ Oct 20 2019
🚨︎ report
It is easy to stop ladies from eating tide pods

But it's hard to deter gents

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/A1B1D1U1L1
πŸ“…︎ Jan 26 2020
🚨︎ report
It’s easy to prevent women from eating tide pods

But it’s harder to deter gents

πŸ‘︎ 50
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πŸ‘€︎ u/GrowerNotAShower2
πŸ“…︎ Jan 25 2019
🚨︎ report
It’s easy to deter the ladies from eating tide pods but...

it’s more difficult to deter...gents

πŸ‘︎ 57
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Luciferintite
πŸ“…︎ Jan 23 2019
🚨︎ report
I hear it's easy to get ladies not to eat Tide pods

It's more difficult to deter gents though

πŸ‘︎ 76
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Dec 20 2018
🚨︎ report
Did you know it's easy to teach girls not to eat tide pods?

It's much harder to deter gents.

πŸ‘︎ 56
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/dewabarrelrole
πŸ“…︎ Nov 02 2018
🚨︎ report
It’s easier to prevent ladies from eating Tide Pods

It’s harder to deter gents

πŸ‘︎ 25
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/kaizersozen
πŸ“…︎ Jan 27 2018
🚨︎ report
I just screamed at a well-bronzed man at the beach.

Sorry for going off on a tan gent.

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/socool111
πŸ“…︎ Jun 22 2016
🚨︎ report

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