What do you call a group of men waiting for a haircut?

A barbecue

πŸ‘︎ 166
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Faiz_Clan
πŸ“…︎ Jun 01
🚨︎ report
TIL Older forms of English kept Latin’s gender-specific suffixes -tor and -trix; tor is for men and trix is for women. So a male pilot is an aviator, a female pilot is an aviatrix. A male fighter is a gladiator, a female fighter is a gladiatrix.

This contrasts with the modern system, where tor is for both men and women, and trix are for kids.

πŸ‘︎ 50
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/neffability
πŸ“…︎ Jun 02
🚨︎ report
How do old French men know so much about cheese?

They learn fromage

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Flanagoon
πŸ“…︎ Jun 10
🚨︎ report
3 men were in a boat. There were 4 cigarettes, but nothing to light them with.

So they threw one into the sea and the whole boat became a cigarette lighter.

πŸ‘︎ 384
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Randomd0g
πŸ“…︎ May 02
🚨︎ report
Two old men are sitting poolside when the first one asks, β€œHave you read Marx?” The other one replies...

β€œYes, I believe that comes from sitting on these wicker chairs.”

πŸ‘︎ 105
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ May 30
🚨︎ report
(I made this one myself) what do you call two men boxing on a tight rope

Punchline

πŸ‘︎ 35
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Trumpigator38
πŸ“…︎ Jun 01
🚨︎ report
I'm tired of the men taking over everything. Like..why we call Iron Man, Iron Man?

Why not FE-male??

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/COVID19_4Lyf
πŸ“…︎ May 07
🚨︎ report
3 men walked into a bar.

You'd think one of them would have seen it.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/spikeratchet
πŸ“…︎ May 17
🚨︎ report
Trash men

Landed this on my six year old yesterday

Looks like the trash men are outside arguing. How do you know Dad? I just heard one of them yell this job is garbage!

Lost on him. But I have been laughing fir a day

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/alonepoe
πŸ“…︎ May 31
🚨︎ report
Why do Jewish men get circumcised?

Because no Jewish woman will touch anything that isn’t twenty percent off.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/labink
πŸ“…︎ May 25
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the two men who were arrested for stealing a calendar?

They each got six months

πŸ‘︎ 21
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/kickypie
πŸ“…︎ May 08
🚨︎ report
If a man who cuts men's hair is a barber...

Would a woman who cuts men's hair be a Barbara?

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/chewygum93
πŸ“…︎ May 17
🚨︎ report
They have a new birth control pill for men that's the size of a small pebble.

You put it in your shoe and it makes you limp.

πŸ‘︎ 28
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/notagoodspelller
πŸ“…︎ Apr 08
🚨︎ report
It is today that we honor the brave men and women of the RMS Titanic, which would have landed at port in Mexico 108 years ago with the largest ever single shipment of mayonnaise; we honor this day.....

sink-o de mayo.

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/vapidvision
πŸ“…︎ May 05
🚨︎ report
What do you call a line of men waiting for a hair cut?

A barber queue

πŸ‘︎ 106
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Feb 25
🚨︎ report
Two snow men stood on top of a hill...

One says to the other "can you smell carrots?"

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ May 06
🚨︎ report
What separates men from boys?

from

πŸ‘︎ 41
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/the-other-alt
πŸ“…︎ Mar 10
🚨︎ report
What musical group do men join once they get married?

The Hus Band!

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ May 04
🚨︎ report
People used to describe my father as a real β€œMan’s Man” the type to get all the men talking at the party. However he never really spoke to me,

I guess to me he was more of a β€œMime’s Man”.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TheTayloceraptor
πŸ“…︎ Apr 30
🚨︎ report
What do you call a line of men waiting for a haircut?

A BBQ πŸ’ˆ(barber queue)

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Mar 06
🚨︎ report
Today I was in the bank when two men came in wearing masks...

Everyone felt a huge relief when they told us it's only a bank robbery.

πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/simplyGagi
πŸ“…︎ Mar 13
🚨︎ report
Joe Exotic persuaded two straight men to marry him

Want to find out how?

You do the Meth!

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Stoatwobbler
πŸ“…︎ Mar 29
🚨︎ report
Were any great men born in this country?

No, only small babies

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/hrishic2327
πŸ“…︎ Apr 03
🚨︎ report
The town's sheriff, who was also a prolific painter, was once attacked by seven men but managed to fight them off single-handedly. It was because....

He was a Marshal artist.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/EvilSandwichMan
πŸ“…︎ Mar 24
🚨︎ report
Four men are stranded with nothing but cigarettes on a boat with no way to light them

So they throw one cigarette off board, and the whole boat becomes a cigarette lighter

πŸ‘︎ 1k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/HalalPork97
πŸ“…︎ Oct 12 2019
🚨︎ report
Two men are having a conversation at the bar

One of them says, "You know, eating that much fiber doesn't really help with your constipation." "No shit", the other replies.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/OneAndZer0s
πŸ“…︎ Mar 06
🚨︎ report
Three old and deafening men were hanging out at a bar.

The first says: β€œWindy isn’t it?”

The second says: β€œWednesday? Isn’t it Thursday?”

The third says: β€œThirsty? Let’s order some drinks!”

πŸ‘︎ 35
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/jayrockuster
πŸ“…︎ Jan 04
🚨︎ report
2 crazy men were trying to escape from a mental facility...

but the only way out was from the roof. They got up there, before realizing they didn’t have any rope. One guy says, β€œOh yeah! I’ve got a flashlight! Ill point it to the ground and you can climb down the beam.” The other guy says, β€œWhat, am I crazy? I’d get half way down and you’d turn it off!”

πŸ‘︎ 21
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Carasius
πŸ“…︎ Jan 15
🚨︎ report
To all the hardworking men who park our cars on February 14 instead of being with their girlfriends...

Happy Valetntine’s day!

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/dubaidadjokes
πŸ“…︎ Jan 30
🚨︎ report
A friend asked me, β€œWhy do all men love dad jokes?”

I said, β€œIt’s punintended.”

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/MajiinBr3w
πŸ“…︎ Feb 12
🚨︎ report
Two men walk into a building....

You’d have thought at least one of them would have seen it.

πŸ‘︎ 37
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/cwwspurs
πŸ“…︎ Jan 20
🚨︎ report
What's different between men's legs and women's legs?

Genitals

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/invisible_being
πŸ“…︎ Feb 24
🚨︎ report
How are Elmer Fudd and middle aged men alike?

They both have a problem with hair/hare loss.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/boilerup4444
πŸ“…︎ Feb 23
🚨︎ report
A few good men
πŸ‘︎ 23
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thesmicklesmockle
πŸ“…︎ Dec 28 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call a group of men standing in line waiting for a haircut?

A Barber Queue

πŸ‘︎ 18
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/SovietLorax
πŸ“…︎ Dec 17 2019
🚨︎ report
3 men walk into a bar...

4th man ducks

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ttom1221
πŸ“…︎ Feb 26
🚨︎ report
How do you break up a fight between two blind men?

Yell β€œMy money’s on the one with the knife!”

πŸ‘︎ 1k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/grouchyjarhead
πŸ“…︎ Aug 17 2019
🚨︎ report
Men are not allowed to find things funny

Because, manslaughter is a crime

πŸ‘︎ 40
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/i_didnot_sayit
πŸ“…︎ Jan 19
🚨︎ report
It's sad that men don't cry:

But it's not enough to make a man cry.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/987654321234567
πŸ“…︎ Feb 07
🚨︎ report
What do you call a row of men waiting for a hair cut?

A Barbercue!

πŸ‘︎ 37
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Stand_Defiant
πŸ“…︎ Dec 01 2019
🚨︎ report
Men who date sheep in the late afternoon...

...are just looking for CaSiO3.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Rocknocker
πŸ“…︎ Feb 06
🚨︎ report
Two men walk into a bar...

The third man ducked.

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Amigam
πŸ“…︎ Jan 21
🚨︎ report
Men masutbate to donate to sperm banks. But women who use sperm bank donations baster mate.
πŸ‘︎ 16
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Nov 29 2019
🚨︎ report
2 men are sitting at a bar

Man1: what do you do for work

Man2: i sell anti-polar bear spray

Man1: huh... there aren’t any polar bear’s here

Man2: good spray am i right

πŸ‘︎ 29
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/the-greenphantom
πŸ“…︎ Nov 20 2019
🚨︎ report
Why are older men so good at dad jokes?

Their funny bone has groan up so theyre more humerus

πŸ‘︎ 139
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Greycatblackdog
πŸ“…︎ Oct 09 2019
🚨︎ report
The maffia does not discriminate against mob bosses who date both men and women.

They let bi-Dons be bi-Dons.

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/DreadMoor
πŸ“…︎ Dec 28 2019
🚨︎ report
What road did the Three Wise Men take to visit baby Jesus?

The highway to the manger zone.

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/NotSamsquanch
πŸ“…︎ Dec 27 2019
🚨︎ report
I figured out why young men get tattoos

They think they can get tits for tatts

πŸ‘︎ 15
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ArtisansCritic
πŸ“…︎ Oct 07 2019
🚨︎ report
Studies have shown that 4 out of 5 men will suffer from diarrhea at some point in their lives...

Why are 1 out of 5 men enjoying it?

πŸ‘︎ 121
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/B-man44
πŸ“…︎ Sep 20 2019
🚨︎ report
Two men are on opposite sides of a river...

One man shouts two the other "How do I get to the other side of the river?"

The other man shouts back "You are on the other side!"

πŸ‘︎ 125
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/B-man44
πŸ“…︎ Sep 19 2019
🚨︎ report
Men, Science has developed a morning after pill for us, for any potential unplanned babies.

It instantly changes your blood type ...

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/tr8orst8x3
πŸ“…︎ Dec 17 2019
🚨︎ report
Two men are hunting in the woods...

Suddenly one of them spots tracks.

"Deer tracks" says the first hunter.

"Moose tracks, I know moose tracks when I see them" says the other hunter.

They keep arguing over the type of tracks they're looking at, until they get run over by a train.

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/JMayberry5
πŸ“…︎ Nov 04 2019
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the woman who was approaching men wanting to trade sex for a spaghetti dinner?

She was arrested for pasta-tution

πŸ‘︎ 15
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/labink
πŸ“…︎ Dec 03 2019
🚨︎ report
The three Wise Men originally showed up at the wrong manger and found a different baby.

"What child is THIS?"

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/beck1670
πŸ“…︎ Dec 31 2019
🚨︎ report
There are 6 men on a boat with a pack of cigarettes, but nothing to light it with. So, they threw one cigarette overboard, and the boat became a cigarette lighter.
πŸ‘︎ 22
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Baba_Yaga9494
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call two cold gay men?

Polar bears

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/LordCinko
πŸ“…︎ Dec 06 2019
🚨︎ report
Men toes
πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/LumpiestEntree
πŸ“…︎ Oct 06 2019
🚨︎ report
Two men walked into a bar.

The third one ducked.

πŸ‘︎ 18
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/sensei_jake
πŸ“…︎ Nov 20 2019
🚨︎ report
Men are important in Hispanic countries

Because without them, there would only be panic.

πŸ‘︎ 29
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/G1njaN1nja05
πŸ“…︎ Nov 12 2019
🚨︎ report
White men cant jump but they can....
πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Supermr2
πŸ“…︎ Oct 19 2019
🚨︎ report
Three men walk into a bar

Which is surprising. You'd think the other two would've noticed the first guy hit it.

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/The_Cosmic_Kitten
πŸ“…︎ Oct 23 2019
🚨︎ report
Back in 1776 there were a group of men who looked for dads who had left their familes.

These men were the founding fathers.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Anthonybrose
πŸ“…︎ Nov 14 2019
🚨︎ report
Studies show that 4 out of 5 men suffer from diarrhea at some point in their life.

Why are 1 out of 5 men enjoying it?

πŸ‘︎ 91
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Quint_Cordewener
πŸ“…︎ Jun 10 2019
🚨︎ report
My aunt says that men should eat less.

What a faminest.

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Irontiger2014
πŸ“…︎ Sep 07 2019
🚨︎ report
Can you believe it says in the Bible that men should make their wife’s coffee everyday?

Yup, it’s right there in Hebrews.

πŸ‘︎ 1k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/scorchedgoat
πŸ“…︎ Feb 01 2019
🚨︎ report
Two very hungry men were wandering the desert when they see a bacon tree.

One runs up to eat the bacon, when all of the sudden he starts getting shot at from out of nowhere. He yells to his friend, "watch out! It's not a bacon tree. It's a hambush!"

*Borrowed from a friend who is very much dad material.

πŸ‘︎ 52
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Phizzwizard
πŸ“…︎ Aug 11 2019
🚨︎ report
A physicist sees a yound men who wants to jump off the Empire State Building.

He yells: β€œDon't jump! You have so much potential!”

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/LunorVoHarden
πŸ“…︎ Oct 30 2019
🚨︎ report
WHY WOMEN ARE CLEVERER THAN MEN

Tom was a single guy living at home with his father and working in the family business. When he found out he was going to inherit a fortune once his sickly father died, he decided he needed a wife with whom to share his fortune. One evening at an investment meeting, he spotted the most beautiful woman he had ever seen. Her natural beauty took his breath away. "I may look like just an ordinary man," he said to her, "but in just a few years, my father will die, and I'll inherit 20 million Pounds." Impressed, the woman obtained his business card.

Three days later, she became his stepmother...

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/cotswoldboy
πŸ“…︎ Sep 25 2019
🚨︎ report
My wife told me that she thinks men in camouflage look sexy.

I just don’t see it.

πŸ‘︎ 70
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Sep 15 2019
🚨︎ report
Two men went fishing one day. They sat in the boat all day, drinking beer and trying different baits. But they caught nothing worth writing home to mom about. So at the end of the day as they were loading up their boat, the first fisherman, whom I'll call John said,

"I bet I reeled in a lot of the redditors looking for a punchline, eh?"

The other fisherman said, "yeah, the reel joke is usually in the comments!"

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Oct 30 2019
🚨︎ report
The wise men come to the Virgin Mary and baby Jesus in the night, rapping on the door of their Bethlehem cottage suddenly. Mary yelps, answers the door, and says, relieved:

"You scared the bajeezus out of me!"

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/gaiusnutcassius
πŸ“…︎ Nov 02 2019
🚨︎ report
If woman sleeps with 10 men, she's a slut but if man does it....

He's gay.

πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/bot_10
πŸ“…︎ Oct 05 2019
🚨︎ report
One thing is for certain about the men who invented, built, and flew the world's first successful airplane at Kitty Hawk...

They were the Wright brothers for the job

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Nov 06 2019
🚨︎ report
Old Spice!!! Polo for Men!!!

That’s my two scents..

I hope you are not incensed by the involuntary groan you just made.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/boogerknows
πŸ“…︎ Oct 16 2019
🚨︎ report
I went to the men’s room at the Duty Free Shop

They only had urinals.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Jayrandomer
πŸ“…︎ Oct 27 2019
🚨︎ report
So a group of nuns is golfing near some men

A man swings his club and fails to hit the ball.

Man: God damnit, I missed.

A nun shakes her head in disapproval. The man swings again and misses yet again

Man: Damnit, I missed again!

Nun: Sir, if you keep on swearing like that, you're gonna go to hell.

The man then laughs and dismisses the nun's comment. He makes one more attempt at hitting the ball, but to no avail.

Man: God fucking damnit!

The sky then goes dark, a lightning bolt strikes the nun, and you can hear a thundery voice say, "God damnit, I missed."

πŸ‘︎ 421
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/FroYo10101
πŸ“…︎ Apr 07 2019
🚨︎ report
Three men are on a boat with three cigarettes but no way to light them

They threw one off the boat so it is now a cigarette lighter.

πŸ‘︎ 17
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Sep 25 2019
🚨︎ report
My wife sent me an article that says men's beards have more germs than dogs.

I said of course. There are no dogs in my beard.

https://imgur.com/B7mUpUc

πŸ‘︎ 185
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/CrankyTribeFan
πŸ“…︎ Apr 17 2019
🚨︎ report
In heaven, there were two huge signs. The first read, "Men Who Did What Their Wives Told Them to Do." The line of men under this sign stretched as far as the eye could see. The second sign stated, "Men Who Did What They Wanted to Do." Only one man stood under that sign...

Intrigued, St. Peter said to the lone man, β€œNo one has ever stood under this sign. Tell me about yourself."

The man shrugged and said, β€œMy wife told me to stand here.”

πŸ‘︎ 34
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/honolulu_oahu_mod
πŸ“…︎ Jul 24 2019
🚨︎ report
Two men walked into a bar

You’d have thought the second guy would duck

πŸ‘︎ 15
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/mmmcuz
πŸ“…︎ Jul 31 2019
🚨︎ report
Medusa must not have any trouble getting men hard
πŸ‘︎ 36
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/LucasM__
πŸ“…︎ Apr 23 2019
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the 2 dyslexic men who walked into a bra?

They failed to see it was a booby trap.

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/woodenpenny
πŸ“…︎ Aug 29 2019
🚨︎ report
Two men walk into a bar.

The third ducked.

πŸ‘︎ 19
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Flukeyshark1125
πŸ“…︎ Oct 08 2019
🚨︎ report
Studies show that 4 out of 5 men suffer from diarrhea at some point in their life.

Why are 1 out of 5 men enjoying it??

πŸ‘︎ 7k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Mar 06 2018
🚨︎ report

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