Pop Puns

A Shamonarch, if you will.

Teacher: “So I want everyone to understand that a dead body isn’t disgusting, and we need to be able to handle it and always be observant at all times when dealing with one”

The teacher has everyone turn their body over

Teacher: “Now I want you all to stick your finger in it’s ass and hold it in there for a moment”

all of the students do as instructed, hesitant at first

Teacher: “Okay, now go ahead and pull your finger out and then put a finger in your mouth like I do”

The students getting a little disgusted by that request REALLY hesitated at first, but eventually they all did as he asked

As the teacher has all of his students with their finger in their mouth, he tells the class, “now see it’s not disgusting if you did it right...if you put your index finger in the ass, and put your middle finger in your mouth like I did, you have just passed my class”.

With minimal observance, and a dead silent room...not one student passed the pop quiz

...it's pretty catchy.

I said, “you’re lucky – mine is still alive…”

The Pillsbury Doughboy, remembered best as "Pop N Serve", and/or "Pop N Fresh", died yesterday of a severe yeast infection and trauma complications from repeated pokes in the belly. He was 71.

Doughboy will be buried in this lightly greased coffin.

Dozens of celebrities will turn out to pay their respects, including Mrs. Butterworth, Hungry Jack, the California Raisins, Betty Crocker, the Hostess Twinkies, and Captain Crunch.

The grave site is expected to be piled high with flours.

Aunt Jemima will deliver the eulogy and lovingly describe Doughboy as "a man who never knew how much he was kneaded".

Doughboy rose quickly in show business, but his later life was filled with turnovers.. He was considered a very smart cookie, but wasted much of his dough on half-baked schemes.

Despite being a little flaky at times, he still was a crusty old man and was considered a positive roll model for millions.

Doughboy is survived by his wife, Play dough, three children: John Dough, Jane Dough and Dosey Dough, plus they had one in the oven. He is also survived by his elderly father, Pop tart.

The funeral will be held at 3:50 for about 20 minutes.

I said, “I’m taking Advil before Aleeve”

... but unfortunately nothing that jumped out at me.

How many likes does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop?

Crushing pop cans is soda pressing

I mean it is a calf-einated beverage.

Let's say I raised the bar and set the steaks.

One has shoaly hits

"I'm fine!! I'm just going through a rough patch!"

"Me and my recliner go way back."

Because they heard there was a cereal killer on the loose.

One is a carbonated beverage. The other is a method of bursting bubbles.

https://preview.redd.it/ya305u7eczz41.jpg?width=828&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=1574126af1c2bf6fd5d897de380d5226a22f1a93

We’re so ‘NSYC.

They know all the Korea-graphy

I can report that they are having an owl

The parts he dips in Olive Oyl.

And now The Cure is no longer necessary!

It’s called ABBA-Cadabra.

"What's the closest planet to our sun?"

"Uh, Mercury."

"Correct! What's the biggest planet?"

"Jupiter!"

"Right again! Now, think carefully.. What's the smelliest planet?"

"Uhh. I dunno..."

"Uranus!"

"Oh god, Dad! Stop!"

Lulz

Waka Flocka Seagulls.

So he went upstairs and he popped.

Litterally

It's given me BTSD.

quran quran

He thinks I have a weird taste.

Two bee fair, it was alright.

They were a Juan hit wonder.

It's Björk's York Torque Corp.

People who make soda jokes must know a lot about pop culture.

Is soda pressing...

It's soda pressing.