Michael Jackson was the King of Pop

A Shamonarch, if you will.

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πŸ“…︎ Jan 08 2021
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A doctor was teaching a class, and wanted to give a pop quiz about tolerance and observance when dealing with the cadavers. (L) (On Mobile)

Teacher: β€œSo I want everyone to understand that a dead body isn’t disgusting, and we need to be able to handle it and always be observant at all times when dealing with one”

The teacher has everyone turn their body over

Teacher: β€œNow I want you all to stick your finger in it’s ass and hold it in there for a moment”

all of the students do as instructed, hesitant at first

Teacher: β€œOkay, now go ahead and pull your finger out and then put a finger in your mouth like I do”

The students getting a little disgusted by that request REALLY hesitated at first, but eventually they all did as he asked

As the teacher has all of his students with their finger in their mouth, he tells the class, β€œnow see it’s not disgusting if you did it right...if you put your index finger in the ass, and put your middle finger in your mouth like I did, you have just passed my class”.

With minimal observance, and a dead silent room...not one student passed the pop quiz

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/wonkagloop
πŸ“…︎ Jan 13 2021
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Did you hear the new pop song about Covid?

...it's pretty catchy.

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/KW-DadJoker
πŸ“…︎ Nov 28 2020
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The pharaoh of POP
πŸ‘︎ 4k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/xxDr-Beckyxx
πŸ“…︎ May 11 2020
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The other day I was on the dock talking to two of my neighbors… One of them had a cooler full of beers and snacks… Pulling out a beer pops the top and opening a bag of chips, he says β€œMy wife’s an angel

I said, β€œyou’re lucky – mine is still alive…”

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/hayeshilton
πŸ“…︎ Nov 21 2020
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Obituary for the Pillsbury Dough Boy, Pop N Fresh

The Pillsbury Doughboy, remembered best as "Pop N Serve", and/or "Pop N Fresh", died yesterday of a severe yeast infection and trauma complications from repeated pokes in the belly. He was 71.

Doughboy will be buried in this lightly greased coffin.

Dozens of celebrities will turn out to pay their respects, including Mrs. Butterworth, Hungry Jack, the California Raisins, Betty Crocker, the Hostess Twinkies, and Captain Crunch.

The grave site is expected to be piled high with flours.

Aunt Jemima will deliver the eulogy and lovingly describe Doughboy as "a man who never knew how much he was kneaded".

Doughboy rose quickly in show business, but his later life was filled with turnovers.. He was considered a very smart cookie, but wasted much of his dough on half-baked schemes.

Despite being a little flaky at times, he still was a crusty old man and was considered a positive roll model for millions.

Doughboy is survived by his wife, Play dough, three children: John Dough, Jane Dough and Dosey Dough, plus they had one in the oven. He is also survived by his elderly father, Pop tart.

The funeral will be held at 3:50 for about 20 minutes.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Eyes_and_teeth
πŸ“…︎ Oct 18 2020
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Went to pop a couple anti-inflammatory pills while getting ready for work and wife asks which brand I wanted

I said, β€œI’m taking Advil before Aleeve”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/PaladinDanza
πŸ“…︎ Oct 07 2020
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I have an addiction to reading pop-up books, so I went to the library the other day to pick up some proper grown up books to look at. I have to admit there was some good stuff there, ...

... but unfortunately nothing that jumped out at me.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/klwill1192
πŸ“…︎ Oct 24 2020
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Tootsie Pops finally got into the 21st century and created a Facebook page. With it, they created a new catchphrase.

How many likes does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/callmefinny
πŸ“…︎ Nov 04 2020
🚨︎ report
Pop cans

Crushing pop cans is soda pressing

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πŸ‘€︎ u/EnderJrack
πŸ“…︎ Oct 15 2020
🚨︎ report
What did the pin say to the baloon? I am the king of pop
πŸ‘︎ 22
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AMswag123
πŸ“…︎ Aug 22 2020
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Should milk be considered a soda/pop?

I mean it is a calf-einated beverage.

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ“…︎ Sep 20 2020
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I own a steakhouse pub in which the counter can actually pop in and out of the floor

Let's say I raised the bar and set the steaks.

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SumFunnyOne
πŸ“…︎ Oct 02 2020
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What is the difference between an Australian pop star and Jesus on the toilet?

One has shoaly hits

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/QuaccAttacc420
πŸ“…︎ Sep 04 2020
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*Pop*
πŸ‘︎ 25
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Fensfisan
πŸ“…︎ Jul 17 2020
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My son came home to find me slumped over the lawn mower crying my eyes out. He shouted over the noise, "You ok, pop?!" I shouted back...

"I'm fine!! I'm just going through a rough patch!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Aug 01 2020
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My son walked into the living room only to find me looking around all misty eyed. Reluctantly, he asked, "What's up pop?" I blubbered, "My boy, I really love our furniture..."

"Me and my recliner go way back."

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Jul 21 2020
🚨︎ report
Why did Snap, Crackle, and Pop get scared?

Because they heard there was a cereal killer on the loose.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dohpaz42
πŸ“…︎ Jul 24 2020
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What's the difference between soda and pop?

One is a carbonated beverage. The other is a method of bursting bubbles.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/tvkyle
πŸ“…︎ Jul 20 2020
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When a new relationship pops up overnight
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πŸ‘€︎ u/notdouglass
πŸ“…︎ Mar 29 2020
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Thanks, pops.

https://preview.redd.it/ya305u7eczz41.jpg?width=828&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=1574126af1c2bf6fd5d897de380d5226a22f1a93

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Alohoamora
πŸ“…︎ May 20 2020
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This is a Mary Pop-PIN
πŸ‘︎ 39
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TripleFourFilms
πŸ“…︎ Mar 25 2020
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My girlfriend and I just realised we’re into the same 90’s pop bands

We’re so β€˜NSYC.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Charlietd76
πŸ“…︎ Jun 22 2020
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Why are K-Pop groups good at dancing?

They know all the Korea-graphy

πŸ‘︎ 23
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Adenu-Men5ah
πŸ“…︎ Apr 21 2020
🚨︎ report
Neighbours outside just had a reveal party. From all the hooting and hollering after the balloon pop...

I can report that they are having an owl

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/50ShadesOfPalmBay
πŸ“…︎ Jun 14 2020
🚨︎ report
What parts of Pop Eye never get rusty?

The parts he dips in Olive Oyl.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/LeDoHell
πŸ“…︎ May 19 2020
🚨︎ report
Hey kids! I went back in time and formed a British 80s pop group called The Vaccine!

And now The Cure is no longer necessary!

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/phish_tacos
πŸ“…︎ May 23 2020
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Broadway has a new show that combines magic with the tunes of a 70’s Swedish Pop Band

It’s called ABBA-Cadabra.

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πŸ“…︎ Jun 05 2020
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Planetary pop quiz

"What's the closest planet to our sun?"

"Uh, Mercury."

"Correct! What's the biggest planet?"

"Jupiter!"

"Right again! Now, think carefully.. What's the smelliest planet?"

"Uhh. I dunno..."

"Uranus!"

"Oh god, Dad! Stop!"

Lulz

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/breakone9r
πŸ“…︎ Mar 10 2020
🚨︎ report
There's a new rap artist who combines a modern hip hop sound with 80s retro pop.

Waka Flocka Seagulls.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jDubbaYo
πŸ“…︎ May 15 2020
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My dads not around anymore, told me he was gonna pop upstairs...

So he went upstairs and he popped.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Noodle08
πŸ“…︎ May 04 2020
🚨︎ report
I replaced my cats litter with pop rocks to scare the shit out of her

Litterally

πŸ‘︎ 50
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SenpaiRemling
πŸ“…︎ Nov 04 2019
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I really hate K-pop.

It's given me BTSD.

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/iHyperVenom_YT
πŸ“…︎ Mar 11 2020
🚨︎ report
what do you call a muslim pop band ?

quran quran

πŸ‘︎ 26
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πŸ‘€︎ u/bigheadedshrimp
πŸ“…︎ Aug 28 2019
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Who wants some sexy pop corns?
πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/f3derico
πŸ“…︎ Dec 10 2019
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I like jazz but my cannibal friend likes pop music

He thinks I have a weird taste.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Elad-Volpert
πŸ“…︎ Mar 03 2020
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Went to a small pop-up exhibit on hornets...

Two bee fair, it was alright.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/dewmangroup
πŸ“…︎ Feb 06 2020
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Is this why they call it β€œpop”?
πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/batmanmedic
πŸ“…︎ Oct 02 2019
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Did you hear of that Mexican pop band with only a single well-liked song?

They were a Juan hit wonder.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Feb 10 2020
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A company that makes powerful pick up trucks in a northern city of England started by a famous Icelandic electronic pop artist.

It's BjΓΆrk's York Torque Corp.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dhdoctor
πŸ“…︎ Nov 27 2019
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Oh god it’s the a-pop-alypse
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Lindenj11
πŸ“…︎ Aug 07 2019
🚨︎ report
People who make soda jokes must know a lot about pop culture.

People who make soda jokes must know a lot about pop culture.

πŸ‘︎ 2k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/USAneedsAJohnson
πŸ“…︎ Jul 15 2017
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Crushing pop cans

Is soda pressing...

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ“…︎ Feb 06 2020
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Did you know I have a job crushing pop cans?

It's soda pressing.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Tungur_Knivur2020
πŸ“…︎ Mar 05 2020
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