My date said she'd sleep with me if I kept making popcorn puns.
π︎ 2
π
︎ Jan 17 2019
What's the highest rank in the popcorn army?
π︎ 10k
π
︎ Mar 17 2021
I recently joined the Popcorn Army.
I've already been promoted to Kernel.
π︎ 343
π
︎ Feb 12 2021
Where do they grow popcorn?
In the mountains, because thatβs where the ears are popping!
π︎ 5
π
︎ Mar 11 2021
Why did the popcorn want to press charges?
Because it was a-salt-ed!
π︎ 20
π
︎ Jan 16 2021
Wife asked for popcorn. She was not amused.
π︎ 35
π
︎ Dec 21 2020
Before I die I am going to eat a whole bag of unpopped popcorn.
Just to make the cremation process a little bit more interesting.
π︎ 31
π
︎ Nov 21 2020
Popcorn
I don't like movie theater butter popcorn...it leaves a film in my mouth
π︎ 5
π
︎ Oct 28 2020
Why did a dyslexic guy got arrested while buying PopCorn?
He asked for CopPorn instead.
π︎ 4
π
︎ Jul 16 2020
My wife and I are having movie nights at home now, and making our own popcorn and drinks.
It's not easy, but these days we all have to make concessions.
π︎ 59
π
︎ Jul 02 2020
Why do you never pick a fight with popcorn?
They have too many kernels
π︎ 3
π
︎ Aug 26 2020
I just found out thereβs no popcorn in popcorn shrimp
I guess thereβs no need to try pot roast.
π︎ 50
π
︎ Feb 22 2020
What is popcorn's favorite movie?
π︎ 16
π
︎ Apr 18 2020
This setting on the popcorn machine at a friend's workplace.
π︎ 16
π
︎ Jul 23 2019
What does KFC use to make their popcorn chicken...?
π︎ 52
π
︎ Sep 30 2019
Which kind of popcorn is paranoid and gets bullied often?
π︎ 8
π
︎ Dec 12 2019
popcorn pops
π︎ 6
π
︎ Sep 01 2019
What do you get with a bag of popcorn?
π︎ 4
π
︎ Jan 29 2020
Who's in charge of Kentucky Fried Popcorn?
π︎ 6
π
︎ Dec 12 2019
My kids asked whether you smell burnt toast or burnt popcorn when you're having a stroke
I told them, "It's Different Strokes for Different Folks."
π︎ 6
π
︎ Oct 21 2019
Ever wonder why you never hear jokes about popcorn?
Itβs because theyβre all corny.
π︎ 22
π
︎ Feb 02 2019
When people ask my opinion on butter popcorn
π︎ 6
π
︎ Feb 03 2019
I always try to show my appreciation for the people at the movie theater who sell me my popcorn, soda, candy, etc.
After all, these people make a lot of concessions at work.
π︎ 6
π
︎ Jul 31 2019
TIP FOR TODAY: Don't try to sneak popcorn in the movie theater.
They'll never let you use their microwave.
π︎ 5
π
︎ May 11 2019
Did you hear about the popcorn that got kicked out of the military
π︎ 44
π
︎ Sep 03 2018
I was going to microwave some popcorn, but I couldn't find the time...
π︎ 52
π
︎ Jun 09 2014
Prosecutors pressed charges against the popcorn maker today
π︎ 8
π
︎ Jan 12 2019
The maintenance staff at my apartment complex left me popcorn to say that they completed my service request while I was out.
imgur.com/GAiToyX
π︎ 14
π
︎ Sep 21 2017
My son has a great recipe for popcorn stuffed duck.
He calls it Quacker Jacks
π︎ 2
π
︎ Jan 14 2019
Who invented popcorn chicken?
π︎ 2
π
︎ Nov 11 2018
What is the action of opening a bag of popcorn called?
π︎ 2
π
︎ Nov 13 2018
11 yr old: "Dad, while you're in the kitchen, will you make me popcorn?"
Me: "Poof! You're popcorn!"
11: eye roll
Wife: groan
Me: intent chuckle
π︎ 14
π
︎ Jul 27 2017
π︎ 12
π
︎ Feb 03 2017
I told my dad I ordered a popcorn popper for roasting my own coffee...
...he replied, "Cool beans, LOL"
π︎ 11
π
︎ Aug 14 2014
Is cooking popcorn in corn oil Kosher?
π︎ 2
π
︎ Jun 01 2017
What do you call someone who sells their body for popcorn?
π︎ 2
π
︎ Oct 13 2017
If Colonel Sanders made popcorn, it would be called Colonel's Kernels.
π︎ 3
π
︎ Oct 12 2014
My dad and burnt popcorn
Dad: I smell something burning
Me: Yeah, I made some popcorn and burned a few kernels.
Dad: At least you didn't burn any generals.
π︎ 7
π
︎ Jun 15 2015
Just call me Popcorn
My grandpa dropped this particularly "good" one the other day; (I think I'd mentioned how I love corny humor)
Him: You can just call me "Popcorn"
Me: Huh?
Him: Cause I'm the father of all jokes.
π︎ 7
π
︎ Oct 13 2015
Who is the highest ranking officer in the popcorn army?
π︎ 20
π
︎ Apr 23 2021
What's the highest rank in the popcorn army?
π︎ 23
π
︎ Jul 13 2018
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