My date said she'd sleep with me if I kept making popcorn puns.

Butterkist her instead.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TommehBoi
πŸ“…︎ Jan 17 2019
🚨︎ report
What's the highest rank in the popcorn army?

Kernel

πŸ‘︎ 10k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Breachx4002
πŸ“…︎ Mar 17
🚨︎ report
Who is the highest ranking officer in the popcorn army?

The kernel.

πŸ‘︎ 20
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/lazlowoodbine
πŸ“…︎ Apr 23
🚨︎ report
I recently joined the Popcorn Army.

I've already been promoted to Kernel.

πŸ‘︎ 343
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/AlRedux
πŸ“…︎ Feb 12
🚨︎ report
Where do they grow popcorn?

In the mountains, because that’s where the ears are popping!

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/skinnnypeenis
πŸ“…︎ Mar 11
🚨︎ report
Why did the popcorn want to press charges?

Because it was a-salt-ed!

πŸ‘︎ 20
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/wheelnebula
πŸ“…︎ Jan 16
🚨︎ report
Wife asked for popcorn. She was not amused.
πŸ‘︎ 35
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/The_Shaken
πŸ“…︎ Dec 21 2020
🚨︎ report
Before I die I am going to eat a whole bag of unpopped popcorn.

Just to make the cremation process a little bit more interesting.

πŸ‘︎ 31
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/b_wanker
πŸ“…︎ Nov 21 2020
🚨︎ report
Popcorn

I don't like movie theater butter popcorn...it leaves a film in my mouth

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/gregorjeff
πŸ“…︎ Oct 28 2020
🚨︎ report
Why did a dyslexic guy got arrested while buying PopCorn?

He asked for CopPorn instead.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/xyz112233
πŸ“…︎ Jul 16 2020
🚨︎ report
My wife and I are having movie nights at home now, and making our own popcorn and drinks.

It's not easy, but these days we all have to make concessions.

πŸ‘︎ 59
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/edrinshrike
πŸ“…︎ Jul 02 2020
🚨︎ report
Why do you never pick a fight with popcorn?

They have too many kernels

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/prockibo
πŸ“…︎ Aug 26 2020
🚨︎ report
I just found out there’s no popcorn in popcorn shrimp

I guess there’s no need to try pot roast.

πŸ‘︎ 50
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/502deadhead
πŸ“…︎ Feb 22 2020
🚨︎ report
What is popcorn's favorite movie?

In-the-pan-dance Day

πŸ‘︎ 16
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Surlebecque
πŸ“…︎ Apr 18 2020
🚨︎ report
This setting on the popcorn machine at a friend's workplace.
πŸ‘︎ 16
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/APearce
πŸ“…︎ Jul 23 2019
🚨︎ report
What does KFC use to make their popcorn chicken...?

Chicken Kernels

πŸ‘︎ 52
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/jsm1095
πŸ“…︎ Sep 30 2019
🚨︎ report
Which kind of popcorn is paranoid and gets bullied often?

A salted one.

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/igi23295
πŸ“…︎ Dec 12 2019
🚨︎ report
popcorn pops
πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Lathil
πŸ“…︎ Sep 01 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you get with a bag of popcorn?

Free butterfingers.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/sandyfinns
πŸ“…︎ Jan 29 2020
🚨︎ report
Who's in charge of Kentucky Fried Popcorn?

Kernel Saunders.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/AlRedux
πŸ“…︎ Dec 12 2019
🚨︎ report
My kids asked whether you smell burnt toast or burnt popcorn when you're having a stroke

I told them, "It's Different Strokes for Different Folks."

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Dadraik
πŸ“…︎ Oct 21 2019
🚨︎ report
Ever wonder why you never hear jokes about popcorn?

It’s because they’re all corny.

πŸ‘︎ 22
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/RoutineFollower
πŸ“…︎ Feb 02 2019
🚨︎ report
When people ask my opinion on butter popcorn
πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Toofgib
πŸ“…︎ Feb 03 2019
🚨︎ report
I always try to show my appreciation for the people at the movie theater who sell me my popcorn, soda, candy, etc.

After all, these people make a lot of concessions at work.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/gideonindc
πŸ“…︎ Jul 31 2019
🚨︎ report
TIP FOR TODAY: Don't try to sneak popcorn in the movie theater.

They'll never let you use their microwave.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/UriahPeabody
πŸ“…︎ May 11 2019
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the popcorn that got kicked out of the military

It used to be a kernel

πŸ‘︎ 44
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/CryptoReaper5
πŸ“…︎ Sep 03 2018
🚨︎ report
I was going to microwave some popcorn, but I couldn't find the time...
πŸ‘︎ 52
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/RobertThyngema
πŸ“…︎ Jun 09 2014
🚨︎ report
Prosecutors pressed charges against the popcorn maker today

assault and buttery

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/guavacadus
πŸ“…︎ Jan 12 2019
🚨︎ report
The maintenance staff at my apartment complex left me popcorn to say that they completed my service request while I was out. imgur.com/GAiToyX
πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/piccit
πŸ“…︎ Sep 21 2017
🚨︎ report
My son has a great recipe for popcorn stuffed duck.

He calls it Quacker Jacks

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jan 14 2019
🚨︎ report
Who invented popcorn chicken?

Kernel Sanders

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/EZasPIEguy
πŸ“…︎ Nov 11 2018
🚨︎ report
What is the action of opening a bag of popcorn called?

Cracking Wise.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/tanahil
πŸ“…︎ Nov 13 2018
🚨︎ report
11 yr old: "Dad, while you're in the kitchen, will you make me popcorn?"

Me: "Poof! You're popcorn!"

11: eye roll

Wife: groan

Me: intent chuckle

πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/tbare
πŸ“…︎ Jul 27 2017
🚨︎ report
Found some popcorn at a Philippines grocery store imgur.com/a/zVdFV
πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/nochilinopity
πŸ“…︎ Feb 03 2017
🚨︎ report
I told my dad I ordered a popcorn popper for roasting my own coffee...

...he replied, "Cool beans, LOL"

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/astromaddie
πŸ“…︎ Aug 14 2014
🚨︎ report
Is cooking popcorn in corn oil Kosher?
πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/PausethePuppy
πŸ“…︎ Jun 01 2017
🚨︎ report
What do you call someone who sells their body for popcorn?

Whoreville Redenbacher.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/abigaila
πŸ“…︎ Oct 13 2017
🚨︎ report
If Colonel Sanders made popcorn, it would be called Colonel's Kernels.
πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/norskie7
πŸ“…︎ Oct 12 2014
🚨︎ report
My dad and burnt popcorn

Dad: I smell something burning

Me: Yeah, I made some popcorn and burned a few kernels.

Dad: At least you didn't burn any generals.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ZebraAthletics
πŸ“…︎ Jun 15 2015
🚨︎ report
Just call me Popcorn

My grandpa dropped this particularly "good" one the other day; (I think I'd mentioned how I love corny humor) Him: You can just call me "Popcorn" Me: Huh? Him: Cause I'm the father of all jokes.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Tar_Alacrin
πŸ“…︎ Oct 13 2015
🚨︎ report
What's the highest rank in the popcorn army?

Kernel

πŸ‘︎ 23
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ndemerson
πŸ“…︎ Jul 13 2018
🚨︎ report

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.