My date said she'd sleep with me if I kept making popcorn puns.
What's the highest rank in the popcorn army?
I recently joined the Popcorn Army.
I've already been promoted to Kernel.
Where do they grow popcorn?
In the mountains, because that’s where the ears are popping!
Why did the popcorn want to press charges?
Because it was a-salt-ed!
Wife asked for popcorn. She was not amused.
Before I die I am going to eat a whole bag of unpopped popcorn.
Just to make the cremation process a little bit more interesting.
Popcorn
I don't like movie theater butter popcorn...it leaves a film in my mouth
My wife and I are having movie nights at home now, and making our own popcorn and drinks.
It's not easy, but these days we all have to make concessions.
Why do you never pick a fight with popcorn?
They have too many kernels
I just found out there’s no popcorn in popcorn shrimp
I guess there’s no need to try pot roast.
What is popcorn's favorite movie?
This setting on the popcorn machine at a friend's workplace.
What does KFC use to make their popcorn chicken...?
Which kind of popcorn is paranoid and gets bullied often?
What do you get with a bag of popcorn?
Who's in charge of Kentucky Fried Popcorn?
My kids asked whether you smell burnt toast or burnt popcorn when you're having a stroke
I told them, "It's Different Strokes for Different Folks."
Ever wonder why you never hear jokes about popcorn?
It’s because they’re all corny.
When people ask my opinion on butter popcorn
I always try to show my appreciation for the people at the movie theater who sell me my popcorn, soda, candy, etc.
After all, these people make a lot of concessions at work.
TIP FOR TODAY: Don't try to sneak popcorn in the movie theater.
They'll never let you use their microwave.
Did you hear about the popcorn that got kicked out of the military
I was going to microwave some popcorn, but I couldn't find the time...
Prosecutors pressed charges against the popcorn maker today
The maintenance staff at my apartment complex left me popcorn to say that they completed my service request while I was out.
imgur.com/GAiToyX
My son has a great recipe for popcorn stuffed duck.
He calls it Quacker Jacks
Who invented popcorn chicken?
What is the action of opening a bag of popcorn called?
11 yr old: "Dad, while you're in the kitchen, will you make me popcorn?"
Me: "Poof! You're popcorn!"
11: eye roll
Wife: groan
Me: intent chuckle
I told my dad I ordered a popcorn popper for roasting my own coffee...
...he replied, "Cool beans, LOL"
Is cooking popcorn in corn oil Kosher?
If Colonel Sanders made popcorn, it would be called Colonel's Kernels.
My dad and burnt popcorn
Dad: I smell something burning
Me: Yeah, I made some popcorn and burned a few kernels.
Dad: At least you didn't burn any generals.
Just call me Popcorn
My grandpa dropped this particularly "good" one the other day; (I think I'd mentioned how I love corny humor)
Him: You can just call me "Popcorn"
Me: Huh?
Him: Cause I'm the father of all jokes.
Who is the highest ranking officer in the popcorn army?
What's the highest rank in the popcorn army?
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