As an American army private during WWII, how did my great-uncle fight in the Battle of the Bulge...

Ardently

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👤︎ u/Freklred
📅︎ Jan 27 2018
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Three boys go into a haunted house. One brought a knife, one brought a gun and one brought some cough drops

They crept in. It was pitch black and stone quiet. They were suddenly starting to regret this dare. Stupidly, only one brought a flash light. The aggressive darkness and inky black yielded with grudging compliance but always seeming to push back. They moved cautiously onward amid the dust and cobwebs. The floor creaked. They breathed in tight, quick breaths. You could hear a pin drop.

Suddenly, there was a deep moan. "OOOOOOOOUUUUU". It seemed from below them. The house had been abandoned for years. Who or what could make such a sound? The boys looked at each other, but continued on, hearts pounding in their chests.

As they proceeded into the kitchen they encountered a swarm of flies. Buzzing and beating their necks and faces, they rushed and stumbled to the door, not stopping to see what they were truly feasting on. They slammed the door behind them. Maybe a body? But no way were they going back to find out. And again came the sound, "ooooOOOOOooooOOUUU" but louder this time, and closer.

They proceeded through the dark into the dining room. They saw a fully set dining table covered in cob webs. Dust-covered regal-looking glasses, goblets and silverware adorned the table. Spiders climbed on ivory plates. Clearly a house of privilege and set for a grand feast which never happened.

Or, perhaps, met a fatal end?

They pushed on. But again that unearthly howl.

"oooooOOOOOOOOOOOUuuuuUUUUuuUUOOOOooo".

They found the basement staircase, and from below, the sounds seemed to be emanating. Could they proceed? Would they? Did they dare? Two of the boys looked at each other, faces filled with worry.

But the third said, confidently, "We're going down there." Not wanting to seem the weaker, the other two boys steeled themselves and nodded.

The stairs creaked and groaned evily under their feet. The rickety banister shook in angry defiance. Insects and vermin scattered underneath them with every step. They were descending into hell, they knew, but none would turn back.

And the sound: "oOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUUuuuuUUOOOO". Now loud enough to fill not only their heads but seeming to claw at their very souls!

Now at the basement door! The antique, crying squeak of the hinges eeeeeeEEEEEEEEEEee made the boys wince and almost cover their ears. But they had to know. WHAT is making that horrible, terrible sound?

"ooooooooooOOOOOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUoooooUUUUUUUOOOOOOO"

In the center of the basement lay an unholy coffin! A twisted artistic expression of murder, decay and

... keep reading on reddit ➡

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👤︎ u/billbixbyakahulk
📅︎ Aug 05 2020
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I bought my wife a pug dog yesterday...

Despite the bulging eyes, horrible nose, weird ears and all round ugliness, the dog seems to like her.

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👤︎ u/OliPark
📅︎ Jul 26 2020
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Algy and the Bear

Algy and the Bear, a poem recited in Ziegfeld Follies by Red Skelton using his J. Newton Numbskull character:

>Algy saw a bear,
The bear saw Algy,
The bear was bulgy,
The bulge was Algy!

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👤︎ u/tfraymond
📅︎ Nov 19 2019
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So my friend is having a Finland-themed party tonight... imgur.com/a/MTase
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👤︎ u/nanyhernandez09
📅︎ Apr 09 2016
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What did the moon say to the earth

Is that a bulge in your ocean or are you just happy to sea me

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📅︎ Feb 22 2018
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I got my friend while talking about my new cycling bib.

He commented that it looked pretty cool, but that my bulge was a bit...distracting.

I responded, "I'm sorry, I can't help it. I'm big boned."

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👤︎ u/Fallabrine
📅︎ May 14 2015
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