What starts with W and ends with T.

It really does , I swear.

πŸ‘︎ 996
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ivanshu
πŸ“…︎ May 24
🚨︎ report
True story, just happened, proud of myself: Dog starts barking furiously out of nowhere. Come to the door to see she's startled a pair of guys from a roofing company who've come to fix a hole where squirrels are getting in.

"Sorry about her. Her specialty is also roofing."

Blank stares. My talents are so wasted without kids.

πŸ‘︎ 16k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/jewyouevenlift
πŸ“…︎ Apr 14
🚨︎ report
My teacher likes to start every day by reading a joke from Reddit. She was sick the other day, so

A subreddit.

πŸ‘︎ 14k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Such-Fig-3879
πŸ“…︎ Mar 12
🚨︎ report
What starts with e and only has one letter in jt

An envelope

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/koalaboi07
πŸ“…︎ Jun 05
🚨︎ report
The bartender told me they are about to start Happy Hour

So he asked me to leave.

πŸ‘︎ 44
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheAzrael2013
πŸ“…︎ May 23
🚨︎ report
A large oil company has announced that it is going to start producing fuel from insect urine.

I think it's BP.

πŸ‘︎ 25
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πŸ‘€︎ u/elgrunt0
πŸ“…︎ May 07
🚨︎ report
Anybody want to start hanging out?

Asking for a friend.....

πŸ‘︎ 96
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πŸ‘€︎ u/diamondeyes18
πŸ“…︎ Apr 10
🚨︎ report
Ima start spelling weed oui’d cos I can’t say no to it
πŸ‘︎ 375
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πŸ‘€︎ u/shpam-
πŸ“…︎ Feb 21
🚨︎ report
I remember that teacher asking me to name something that starts with the letter N that I was not very good at.

β€œSpelling”, I said.

πŸ‘︎ 19
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ May 21
🚨︎ report
What has three letters and starts with gas?

A car

πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ‘€︎ u/havenotredditt
πŸ“…︎ May 08
🚨︎ report
Just wondering, do you think it's alright for me to start drinking as soon as the kids are in school..

..or am I just a terrible Teacher ?

πŸ‘︎ 115
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HugoZHackenbush2
πŸ“…︎ Apr 15
🚨︎ report
I was standing in front of the bedroom mirror looking myself over, rather unhappy with what I saw. I told my wife "I feel horrible. I look fat. I'm ugly. When did my hair start retreating like this? When did this stretch mark show up? I could use a compliment honey, my self esteem is in the dumps."

She looked at me and replied "your eyesight is damn near perfect."

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ“…︎ May 12
🚨︎ report
So I've decided to start a new company that sells fans

Only fans.

πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ‘€︎ u/iOSSwiftDeveloper
πŸ“…︎ Apr 24
🚨︎ report
The Franciscan priest left the monastery to start a flower shop, but before he could open, a flock of sheep in the village got loose and trampled him to death.

Only ewes can prevent florist friars.

πŸ‘︎ 23
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πŸ‘€︎ u/silverjaydog
πŸ“…︎ May 01
🚨︎ report
What should you do if your omelette starts floating?

Call an egg-sorcist

πŸ‘︎ 141
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ChequredWolf
πŸ“…︎ Mar 19
🚨︎ report
What starts with T, ends with T, and is full of T?

Teapot

πŸ‘︎ 24
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/big_macaroons
πŸ“…︎ Apr 23
🚨︎ report
I'm going to start a brew pub that also offers raisins, nuts and oats.

I'll call it the Granola Bar.

πŸ‘︎ 20
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πŸ‘€︎ u/waldo06
πŸ“…︎ Apr 29
🚨︎ report
Gonna Start Dressing Like Genghis Khan When I Date Single Mothers.

Gotta show that I'm a good Steppe Father.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/OranMilne
πŸ“…︎ May 20
🚨︎ report
An English ship on the way to Germany suddenly starts making water and is about to capsize.. After some trying they finally manage to reach the coastguard "We're sinking, we're sinking!!"

.. A confused but also quite curious voice responds.. "What are you sinking about?"

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Snugl-v301
πŸ“…︎ May 15
🚨︎ report
Good romance starts with a friendship

A bad romance starts with β€œra ra ah ah ah, ro ma, ro ma ma ga ga, ooh la la.”

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/LordCinko
πŸ“…︎ May 09
🚨︎ report
I’m going to start collecting highlighters.

Mark my words!

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/FeastontheFalln
πŸ“…︎ May 07
🚨︎ report
Can we start gossiping about Bill and Melinda Gates now?

Or is that not PC?

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/nightwingpianist
πŸ“…︎ May 05
🚨︎ report
Every time I hang out my laundry, the song "Nine to Five" starts playing...

Guess that's what I get for using Dolly pegs.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/wolfyfancylads
πŸ“…︎ May 11
🚨︎ report
Funeral homes might start displaying bodies of the deceased again after Covid-19 lockdown...

But that remains go be seen.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SlovenianHusky
πŸ“…︎ May 17
🚨︎ report
What will you call it if an immigrant starts arguing with a priest?

Alien Vs Predator

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Esmeralda_i
πŸ“…︎ Apr 16
🚨︎ report
My doctor says I should start eating hot peppers to boost my immune system.

He said they're full of Vitamin Spi-C!

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/-Masderus-
πŸ“…︎ Apr 27
🚨︎ report
My neighbour got bit by a female deer and starts acting like one on a full moon...

What a were-doh...

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/yaswolf
πŸ“…︎ May 04
🚨︎ report
2 cannibals start eating a fella

One starts at the head, one starts at the feet

one goes to the other - "how's it going?"

the other goes - "I'm having a ball"

first cannibal goes - "slow down, you're eating too fast"

πŸ‘︎ 33
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Snozzcumberbatch
πŸ“…︎ Apr 07
🚨︎ report
After she cancelled several dates with me, I told my crush she should start dating wheelchair-bound men…

because she’s really good at standing guys up.

πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ‘€︎ u/19triguy82
πŸ“…︎ Apr 20
🚨︎ report
Two man walk into a coffee shop, one of them orders a Cup of Tea and starts stripping.

The man behind counter says: what the hell is this?

To which the second man says: he's new to Tea

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/helderdude
πŸ“…︎ Apr 26
🚨︎ report
Why do accountants always start drama at work?

Because they love to spread sheet!

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TheAKKodiak
πŸ“…︎ Apr 03
🚨︎ report
The start of my every last paragraph of my essays.
πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/osksama1
πŸ“…︎ Feb 26
🚨︎ report
Why did the cowboy start making lassos?

He got roped into it.

πŸ‘︎ 15
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Apr 19
🚨︎ report
I’d love to start a cheese business

But I lac-tose funds.

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/KaleepoBlues
πŸ“…︎ Apr 08
🚨︎ report
What starts with an β€œO” and ends with β€œnions” and sometimes make you cry?

Opinions

πŸ‘︎ 122
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/sayan_dutta7
πŸ“…︎ Feb 14
🚨︎ report
Every morning, my neighbour gets on his tractor and starts yelling β€œThe end is near!”

I hate living next to Farmer Geddon.

πŸ‘︎ 26
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Apr 09
🚨︎ report
Jay Leno went to Morgan Freeman’s house and had a lot of drinks. Leno suddenly started to urinate on Freeman’s carpet. Freeman was furious and ran after him as he kept on urinating. The banker next door saw the whole thing and decided to start a bank...

Kids, that is the true story of how Jay-pee-Morgan-chase was named

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/damilalam
πŸ“…︎ Apr 30
🚨︎ report
In Sweden, footraces sometimes start a short distance away from the country’s eastern border.

The winner is the first person to cross the Finnish line.

πŸ‘︎ 233
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/MGreenMN
πŸ“…︎ Feb 11
🚨︎ report
I'm going to start a yacht building business in my attic

Sails should go through the roof

πŸ‘︎ 193
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/joelthomastr
πŸ“…︎ Jan 28
🚨︎ report
Every day, my teacher starts her class by reading a joke from r/dadjokes, but today she is absent.

So today, a subreddit.

πŸ‘︎ 25k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jul 31 2020
🚨︎ report
Never start a fight with a dinosaur

You'll get JurassKicked

πŸ‘︎ 52
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Tinnber
πŸ“…︎ Mar 13
🚨︎ report
How do you call it when you start crying after you fart

Teargas

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/DutchBlob
πŸ“…︎ Apr 10
🚨︎ report
What starts with…

What starts with’W’ and ends with β€˜T’, it really does!

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/cab10000
πŸ“…︎ May 15
🚨︎ report
My teacher likes to start every day by reading a joke from Reddit. She was sick the other day, so

A subreddit.

πŸ‘︎ 114
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Such-Fig-3879
πŸ“…︎ Mar 12
🚨︎ report
What starts with W and ends with T?

Oh my, it really does!

πŸ‘︎ 82
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thisDiff
πŸ“…︎ Apr 02
🚨︎ report
A large oil company has announced that it is going to start producing fuel from insect urine.

I think it's BP.

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/elgrunt0
πŸ“…︎ May 07
🚨︎ report
What starts with T, ends with T, and is full of T?

Teapot

πŸ‘︎ 12k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/lvrcerosis
πŸ“…︎ Sep 27 2020
🚨︎ report

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