What starts with W and ends with T.
It really does , I swear.
π︎ 981
π
︎ May 24 2021
True story, just happened, proud of myself: Dog starts barking furiously out of nowhere. Come to the door to see she's startled a pair of guys from a roofing company who've come to fix a hole where squirrels are getting in.
"Sorry about her. Her specialty is also roofing."
Blank stares. My talents are so wasted without kids.
π︎ 16k
π
︎ Apr 14 2021
My teacher likes to start every day by reading a joke from Reddit. She was sick the other day, so
π︎ 14k
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︎ Mar 12 2021
The bartender told me they are about to start Happy Hour
π︎ 48
π
︎ May 23 2021
A large oil company has announced that it is going to start producing fuel from insect urine.
π︎ 24
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︎ May 07 2021
Anybody want to start hanging out?
π︎ 94
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︎ Apr 10 2021
I remember that teacher asking me to name something that starts with the letter N that I was not very good at.
π︎ 20
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︎ May 21 2021
What has three letters and starts with gas?
π︎ 17
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︎ May 08 2021
Ima start spelling weed ouiβd cos I canβt say no to it
π︎ 380
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︎ Feb 21 2021
Just wondering, do you think it's alright for me to start drinking as soon as the kids are in school..
..or am I just a terrible Teacher ?
π︎ 109
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︎ Apr 15 2021
I was standing in front of the bedroom mirror looking myself over, rather unhappy with what I saw. I told my wife "I feel horrible. I look fat. I'm ugly. When did my hair start retreating like this? When did this stretch mark show up? I could use a compliment honey, my self esteem is in the dumps."
She looked at me and replied "your eyesight is damn near perfect."
π︎ 12
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︎ May 12 2021
So I've decided to start a new company that sells fans
π︎ 20
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︎ Apr 24 2021
The Franciscan priest left the monastery to start a flower shop, but before he could open, a flock of sheep in the village got loose and trampled him to death.
Only ewes can prevent florist friars.
π︎ 23
π
︎ May 01 2021
What starts with T, ends with T, and is full of T?
π︎ 22
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︎ Apr 23 2021
What should you do if your omelette starts floating?
π︎ 144
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︎ Mar 19 2021
I'm going to start a brew pub that also offers raisins, nuts and oats.
I'll call it the Granola Bar.
π︎ 19
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︎ Apr 29 2021
Gonna Start Dressing Like Genghis Khan When I Date Single Mothers.
Gotta show that I'm a good Steppe Father.
π︎ 3
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︎ May 20 2021
An English ship on the way to Germany suddenly starts making water and is about to capsize.. After some trying they finally manage to reach the coastguard "We're sinking, we're sinking!!"
.. A confused but also quite curious voice responds.. "What are you sinking about?"
π︎ 7
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︎ May 15 2021
Good romance starts with a friendship
A bad romance starts with βra ra ah ah ah, ro ma, ro ma ma ga ga, ooh la la.β
π︎ 11
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︎ May 09 2021
Funeral homes might start displaying bodies of the deceased again after Covid-19 lockdown...
But that remains go be seen.
π︎ 2
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︎ May 17 2021
Iβm going to start collecting highlighters.
π︎ 8
π
︎ May 07 2021
Every time I hang out my laundry, the song "Nine to Five" starts playing...
Guess that's what I get for using Dolly pegs.
π︎ 5
π
︎ May 11 2021
Can we start gossiping about Bill and Melinda Gates now?
π︎ 11
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︎ May 05 2021
My doctor says I should start eating hot peppers to boost my immune system.
He said they're full of Vitamin Spi-C!
π︎ 8
π
︎ Apr 27 2021
My neighbour got bit by a female deer and starts acting like one on a full moon...
π︎ 7
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︎ May 04 2021
2 cannibals start eating a fella
One starts at the head, one starts at the feet
one goes to the other - "how's it going?"
the other goes - "I'm having a ball"
first cannibal goes - "slow down, you're eating too fast"
π︎ 35
π
︎ Apr 07 2021
After she cancelled several dates with me, I told my crush she should start dating wheelchair-bound menβ¦
because sheβs really good at standing guys up.
π︎ 17
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︎ Apr 20 2021
Two man walk into a coffee shop, one of them orders a Cup of Tea and starts stripping.
The man behind counter says: what the hell is this?
To which the second man says: he's new to Tea
π︎ 6
π
︎ Apr 26 2021
Why do accountants always start drama at work?
Because they love to spread sheet!
π︎ 12
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︎ Apr 03 2021
Why did the cowboy start making lassos?
π︎ 15
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︎ Apr 19 2021
Iβd love to start a cheese business
π︎ 8
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︎ Apr 08 2021
The start of my every last paragraph of my essays.
π︎ 5
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︎ Feb 26 2021
Jay Leno went to Morgan Freemanβs house and had a lot of drinks. Leno suddenly started to urinate on Freemanβs carpet. Freeman was furious and ran after him as he kept on urinating. The banker next door saw the whole thing and decided to start a bank...
Kids, that is the true story of how Jay-pee-Morgan-chase was named
π︎ 2
π
︎ Apr 30 2021
What starts with an βOβ and ends with βnionsβ and sometimes make you cry?
π︎ 121
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︎ Feb 14 2021
Every morning, my neighbour gets on his tractor and starts yelling βThe end is near!β
I hate living next to Farmer Geddon.
π︎ 27
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︎ Apr 09 2021
In Sweden, footraces sometimes start a short distance away from the countryβs eastern border.
The winner is the first person to cross the Finnish line.
π︎ 229
π
︎ Feb 11 2021
I'm going to start a yacht building business in my attic
Sails should go through the roof
π︎ 196
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︎ Jan 28 2021
Never start a fight with a dinosaur
π︎ 47
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︎ Mar 13 2021
How do you call it when you start crying after you fart
π︎ 5
π
︎ Apr 10 2021
Every day, my teacher starts her class by reading a joke from r/dadjokes, but today she is absent.
π︎ 25k
π
︎ Jul 31 2020
I hate it when a couple start having an argument right in front of me.
They could have at least waited until I got dressed and left.
π︎ 3
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︎ Mar 21 2021
What starts withβ¦
What starts withβWβ and ends with βTβ, it really does!
π︎ 9
π
︎ May 15 2021
My teacher likes to start every day by reading a joke from Reddit. She was sick the other day, so
π︎ 115
π
︎ Mar 12 2021
What starts with W and ends with T?
π︎ 77
π
︎ Apr 02 2021
A large oil company has announced that it is going to start producing fuel from insect urine.
π︎ 12
π
︎ May 07 2021
What starts with T, ends with T, and is full of T?
π︎ 12k
π
︎ Sep 27 2020
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