If you’re being chased by a police dog, try not to go through a tunnel, then on to a little seesaw, then jump through a hoop of fire.

They're trained for that!

(Mj)

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ExtraSure
πŸ“…︎ Jun 08 2021
🚨︎ report
the jump
πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/AidenTheFurry
πŸ“…︎ Jun 01 2021
🚨︎ report
How can a dog jump higher than a skyscraper?

By jumping on the roof

πŸ‘︎ 22
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/pathrado
πŸ“…︎ May 22 2021
🚨︎ report
What breed of dog can jump higher than buildings?

Any dog... buildings can’t jump

πŸ‘︎ 50
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/KoalaTeaNip
πŸ“…︎ Apr 27 2021
🚨︎ report
What do you call a bear that jumps, but never lands?

A Peter Panda.

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/sovietsrule
πŸ“…︎ May 23 2021
🚨︎ report
Can a kangaroo jump higher than a house?

Of course. Houses can’t jump.

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Former-Ad-6897
πŸ“…︎ May 24 2021
🚨︎ report
When the Mod jumps in with an unintentional pun
πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/viaHologram
πŸ“…︎ Apr 29 2021
🚨︎ report
Did you just jump off of a diving board?

🎢 877 SPLASH NOW 🎢

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/synexo
πŸ“…︎ May 25 2021
🚨︎ report
I'm hiding in my Finnish Neighbours shed, waiting to jump out and surprise him.

It's like a sauna in here.

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/WhoElseButAlf
πŸ“…︎ Apr 27 2021
🚨︎ report
What can jump higher, the empire state building or a kangaroo

The kangaroo cause the empire state building can't jump

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/nobody492
πŸ“…︎ Apr 26 2021
🚨︎ report
If a cat tries to jump too far, they tend to pay a price.

It's the fee line.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TheRealZy
πŸ“…︎ May 15 2021
🚨︎ report
I remember standing in solitude, at the end of the long landing overlooking the Pacific Ocean - this disembodied voice was urging me to jump, so I did...

I never could stand up to pier pressure.

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Apr 21 2021
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the cow that tried to jump a barbed wire fence?

Utter disaster.

πŸ‘︎ 140
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Super4rank
πŸ“…︎ Feb 22 2021
🚨︎ report
They say a puma can jump higher than your average house...

This is because puma's have powerful hind legs and the fact that houses can't jump.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/robdingo36
πŸ“…︎ Apr 29 2021
🚨︎ report
I bet my 4 kids $5 I could jump higher than my house

I won $20

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Nickatier_Carbs
πŸ“…︎ Mar 09 2021
🚨︎ report
My wife is doing a sponsored parachute jump tomorrow....

....and I'm terrified that the chute might not open.

Last time something that big crashed onto Earth, the dinosaurs got wiped out.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Mar 08 2021
🚨︎ report
Interesting fact: elephants can jump higher than a house.

Because houses can't jump very high.

(My stepson told me a dad joke)

πŸ‘︎ 21
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/kingofthecairn
πŸ“…︎ Feb 18 2021
🚨︎ report
Faulty jump leads?

Don't get me started.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Stoatwobbler
πŸ“…︎ Feb 12 2021
🚨︎ report
Sure the cow jumped over the moon! You would jump too!

That man’s hands were COLD...

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Elo_Solo
πŸ“…︎ Feb 14 2021
🚨︎ report
There is a species of frog that can jump higher than a 3 story house

This is due to the frog's incredibly strong hind legs, and the fact that a house can't jump.

πŸ‘︎ 16
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/cornedbeefhash1
πŸ“…︎ Jan 05 2021
🚨︎ report
Owl jump on the barn-wagon

Knock Knock

Who's there?

Who

... who who?

How did you know I'm an owl! :o

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Ramiel01
πŸ“…︎ Jan 05 2021
🚨︎ report
Those Duke boys sure do like to jump their car over things...

... General Lee speaking.

πŸ‘︎ 19
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/djxiii
πŸ“…︎ Nov 13 2020
🚨︎ report
Why did the cow jump over the moon?

The cat played the fiddle terribly and the cow wanted to get away from it.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/VegetarianReaper
πŸ“…︎ Dec 27 2020
🚨︎ report
I saw an insect that was trying to jump on a fat guy's chest again and again.

I think it's preying man tits.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/sodomicity
πŸ“…︎ Dec 02 2020
🚨︎ report
Why did the toilet paper jump of the building?

To quickly get to the bottom...

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Nov 18 2020
🚨︎ report
Talking with my brother: β€œHey remember when we would see how far we could jump off the staircase?”

β€œThat just sounds like leaping off ledges with extra steps”

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ovrlymm
πŸ“…︎ Dec 15 2020
🚨︎ report
Why did the crazy Mexican jump on the train?

He had a loco motive.

πŸ‘︎ 100
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/nereothefinest
πŸ“…︎ Aug 16 2020
🚨︎ report
What can you jump over that’s a hundred feet in the air?

A dead centipede.

πŸ‘︎ 20
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/coadnamedalex
πŸ“…︎ Oct 18 2020
🚨︎ report
How did the Himalayan man jump higher than mount Everest?

Well, that's easy. Mountains can't jump.

πŸ‘︎ 252
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/-taco-rice-
πŸ“…︎ Jun 07 2020
🚨︎ report
What’s green, has four legs, and is deadly when it jumps on you?

A billiards table

πŸ‘︎ 388
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/pandacoat
πŸ“…︎ Feb 18 2020
🚨︎ report
"I'm going to jump in the shower"

Funny, most people sing in the shower.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ThamilandryLFY
πŸ“…︎ Sep 07 2020
🚨︎ report
If you willingly jump in the river in Paris,

you must be in-Seine!

(Just thought of this the other day and forgot to post it before. Hope it hasn’t been done before.)

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Samsta36
πŸ“…︎ Sep 17 2020
🚨︎ report
Two chefs are working on a meal, the first chef is caramelising onions when some spill out the pan, the second chef says β€œwhat happened? Onions can’t jump by themselves”

the first chef responds with β€œthey can if they’re spring onions”

πŸ‘︎ 16
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thebiunicorn
πŸ“…︎ Jul 06 2020
🚨︎ report
A physicist sees a man about to jump off of the Empire State Building...

He yells,” Don’t do it, you have too much potential”

πŸ‘︎ 148
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/MCVeteran69
πŸ“…︎ Jun 15 2020
🚨︎ report
A chap jumps out of an areoplane and his parachute fails to open.

On the way down he meets a chap with no parachute moving up wards. He shouts to him, Hey mate know anything about parachutes? The chap coming up shout No but do you know anything about gas cookers?

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/tiger7971
πŸ“…︎ Oct 02 2020
🚨︎ report
What is the best vehicle to get a jump from?

A cargo van.

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/FatchRacall
πŸ“…︎ Jul 15 2020
🚨︎ report
Someone asked me if I could jump higher than a house

Of course I can! Houses can’t jump

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Pomonica
πŸ“…︎ Apr 28 2021
🚨︎ report
Can a kangaroo jump higher than a house?

Of course! Houses can't jump.

πŸ‘︎ 19
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/SuperGrandPatzer
πŸ“…︎ Mar 03 2021
🚨︎ report
I heard a kangaroo can jump higher than the Empire State building.

Actually, they all can. Buildings don't jump at all.

πŸ‘︎ 39
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/kdlaz
πŸ“…︎ Feb 13 2021
🚨︎ report
Technically we can all jump higher than a house..

Because houses can’t jump!

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jan 26 2021
🚨︎ report
What happens when a cow jumps over a barbed wire fence?

Utter destruction.

πŸ‘︎ 396
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/sasha678910
πŸ“…︎ Oct 11 2020
🚨︎ report
Can a turkey jump higher than the Empire State Building?

Of course it can! A building can’t jump at all!

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/GoodChadAndUgly
πŸ“…︎ Nov 17 2020
🚨︎ report
Did you know why a deer can jump higher than an average house?

Because an average house cannot jump!

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/viky_boy
πŸ“…︎ Nov 01 2020
🚨︎ report
Who can jump higher than mountains?

Everyone, because mountains can't jump!

πŸ‘︎ 34
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/runronnierun89
πŸ“…︎ Oct 02 2020
🚨︎ report
I can jump higher than a house

Houses can't jump.

πŸ‘︎ 22
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/mootmahsn
πŸ“…︎ Jul 02 2020
🚨︎ report
Can a Kangaroo Jump Higher Than A House?

No because the house can't fricking jump.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Fiery_Leopard
πŸ“…︎ Apr 25 2020
🚨︎ report

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.