How did the Himalayan man jump higher than mount Everest?

Well, that's easy. Mountains can't jump.

πŸ‘︎ 250
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/-taco-rice-
πŸ“…︎ Jun 07
🚨︎ report
What is the best vehicle to get a jump from?

A cargo van.

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/FatchRacall
πŸ“…︎ Jul 15
🚨︎ report
Two chefs are working on a meal, the first chef is caramelising onions when some spill out the pan, the second chef says β€œwhat happened? Onions can’t jump by themselves”

the first chef responds with β€œthey can if they’re spring onions”

πŸ‘︎ 15
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thebiunicorn
πŸ“…︎ Jul 06
🚨︎ report
I can jump higher than a house

Houses can't jump.

πŸ‘︎ 22
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/mootmahsn
πŸ“…︎ Jul 02
🚨︎ report
A physicist sees a man about to jump off of the Empire State Building...

He yells,” Don’t do it, you have too much potential”

πŸ‘︎ 147
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/MCVeteran69
πŸ“…︎ Jun 15
🚨︎ report
Why did the man refuse to jump out the window?

He didn't want to go through any pane.

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/pengwin34
πŸ“…︎ Jul 14
🚨︎ report
Can you jump higher than a house?

Of course you can! Houses can’t jump!

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/MommaBearSF
πŸ“…︎ Jun 26
🚨︎ report
Can a Kangaroo Jump Higher Than A House?

No because the house can't fricking jump.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Fiery_Leopard
πŸ“…︎ Apr 25
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the man who invented a more efficient way to set up the high jump and pole vault?

He raised the bar.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/trimofdoom
πŸ“…︎ May 26
🚨︎ report
What’s green, has four legs, and is deadly when it jumps on you?

A billiards table

πŸ‘︎ 388
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/pandacoat
πŸ“…︎ Feb 18
🚨︎ report
Did you know that the Average African Leopard can jump higher than a stop sign?

This is because as far as I know stop signs can’t jump.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/_Cyberostrich_
πŸ“…︎ Jun 08
🚨︎ report
A Thomson’s Gazelle can jump higher than the average house

It can do this due to its powerful hind legs, and the fact that an average house cannot jump

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Xander725
πŸ“…︎ May 21
🚨︎ report
What animal can jump higher than the Empire State Building?

They all can; the Empire State Building can't jump!

πŸ‘︎ 17
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/robitsarecool
πŸ“…︎ May 09
🚨︎ report
Can a kangaroo jump higher than a house?

Of course. houses can’t jump

πŸ‘︎ 17
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/hatehatedate
πŸ“…︎ May 10
🚨︎ report
What do you get when a cow jumps over an electrified barbed-wire fence?

Udder destruction.

πŸ‘︎ 15
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/RealTheAsh
πŸ“…︎ May 03
🚨︎ report
I tried to jump rope to lose weight

But I always end up skipping it.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/EmpireStrikes1st
πŸ“…︎ Apr 09
🚨︎ report
Dad was too cheap to buy weed killer, so he made us kids jump on weeds to control them. He always told me:

Only you can stamp out domestic violets.

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/GotMyOrangeCrush
πŸ“…︎ Apr 01
🚨︎ report
Why didn't 4 jump into the pool?

Because they were 2^2

πŸ‘︎ 111
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/f_tothe_p
πŸ“…︎ Dec 10 2019
🚨︎ report
My car wouldn't start, so I tried to jump it.

Now I've got a dead battery and a bruised rib.

πŸ‘︎ 21
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/KairuSmairukon
πŸ“…︎ Feb 07
🚨︎ report
What breed of dog can jump higher than buildings?

Any dog. Buildings can’t jump.

πŸ‘︎ 37
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/labink
πŸ“…︎ Mar 01
🚨︎ report
My neighbor tried to wager money on whether I could jump the row of bushes between our properties...

But I don't like to hedge my bets.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Feb 12
🚨︎ report
Always jump from a plane with a backup.

That's why they call them pair of chutes!

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Sir_Pluses
πŸ“…︎ Feb 11
🚨︎ report
I've never been able to beat my school's high jump record and it keeps me up at night to this day...

I just can't get over it

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/greatreference
πŸ“…︎ Dec 21 2019
🚨︎ report
Can a Kangaroo jump higher then the Empire State Building?

Ofcourse it can. The Empire State Building can't jump.

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Sjoerd019
πŸ“…︎ Nov 20 2019
🚨︎ report
I wanted to teach my goldfish to jump, so I took it to a lake in the mountains

But it turns out spring water is just false advertisement

πŸ‘︎ 19
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/tDumFlumph
πŸ“…︎ Dec 29 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call it when a cow fails to jump over a barbed-wire fence?

Udder destruction

Probably a re-post, but I haven't seen it on here in quite a while

If you have seen it recently... I'm utterly sorry

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/CryptoReaper5
πŸ“…︎ Nov 21 2019
🚨︎ report
Did you know a white-tail deer can jump higher than the average house?

This is due to its powerful hind legs and the fact the average house can't jump.

πŸ‘︎ 20
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/JoeFas
πŸ“…︎ Nov 10 2019
🚨︎ report
I was going to jump rope for exercise this am

But I ended up skipping it

πŸ‘︎ 28
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Shaftdriven73
πŸ“…︎ Oct 03 2019
🚨︎ report
Every time someone leaves and tells me they're gonna go jump in the shower I feel like I'm doing something wrong.

I always stand.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/OneUpWill
πŸ“…︎ Dec 11 2019
🚨︎ report
White men cant jump but they can....
πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Supermr2
πŸ“…︎ Oct 19 2019
🚨︎ report
A physicist sees a yound men who wants to jump off the Empire State Building.

He yells: β€œDon't jump! You have so much potential!”

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/LunorVoHarden
πŸ“…︎ Oct 30 2019
🚨︎ report
Who can jump higher than a mountain?

Everybody. Mountains can't jump.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/SKStoney
πŸ“…︎ Oct 30 2019
🚨︎ report
A physicist see a man about to jump from a ledge. He yells.

"Don't do it! You have so much potential!"

πŸ‘︎ 75
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Hadeon_
πŸ“…︎ May 14 2019
🚨︎ report
What animal jumps higher than a building?

All animals. Because buildings don't jump.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Fitzz7
πŸ“…︎ Sep 25 2019
🚨︎ report
Every time my doorbell rings, my dog jumps up and stands in the corner.

He’s a Boxer.

πŸ‘︎ 23
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Aug 22 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you get when a cow jumps over a barbed wire fence?

An udder disaster

πŸ‘︎ 37
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Goodoboy30
πŸ“…︎ Mar 14 2019
🚨︎ report
Did you know the average mountain antelope can jump higher than a house?

This is mainly due to it's incredibly strong hind legs and the fact houses can't jump.

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/FrightinglyPunny
πŸ“…︎ Aug 10 2019
🚨︎ report
What athlete can jump higher than a building

Everyone can buildings cant jump

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ThatCanceryboi
πŸ“…︎ Sep 06 2019
🚨︎ report
From a post about a high jump competition in kenya
πŸ‘︎ 17
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ysd2484
πŸ“…︎ Apr 14 2019
🚨︎ report
Could you be a deer, and jump in front of my car?
πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Rodolfo20
πŸ“…︎ Feb 20 2019
🚨︎ report
I just watched our dog jump in the pool,

He did a β€œcanine” ball

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/iamflexx
πŸ“…︎ Jun 29 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call it when a thousand rabbits jump backwards?

A receding hare line

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/countryfir891
πŸ“…︎ Jul 06 2019
🚨︎ report
What can jump higher than a mountain?

Anyone. Mountains can't jump.

πŸ‘︎ 16
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Jacob1296
πŸ“…︎ May 31 2019
🚨︎ report
What dog can jump higher than the Empire State Building?

Any dog, because building can’t jump.

(Heard this a long time ago can’t remember where.)

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/jibjabblack
πŸ“…︎ Feb 13 2019
🚨︎ report
Why did the loaf of bread jump out of the oven and back onto the counter?

Because it always feels good to be kneaded.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thelionmermaid
πŸ“…︎ Jun 23 2019
🚨︎ report
My wife said she was going to jump in the shower this morning

I said probably safer if you just stood there or you could slip

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/fit4lyfe85
πŸ“…︎ Jun 10 2019
🚨︎ report
If someone with no legs jumps,

Is it a hip hop?

πŸ‘︎ 201
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/SpoonEndedHammer
πŸ“…︎ Jun 04 2018
🚨︎ report
I saw Ice Cube jump onto Dwayne Johnson when he was lifting a 150kg boulder.

One could say he was on the rocks

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/PanPitza
πŸ“…︎ Jul 06 2019
🚨︎ report
Why are some people so surprised when I tell them I can jump higher than a skyscraper?

Everyone knows skyscrapers can't jump.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/FinalCaveat
πŸ“…︎ May 31 2019
🚨︎ report
Did you know a human can jump higher than a tree?

It's not that amazing,i've never seen a tree jump

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/dot322
πŸ“…︎ Jun 23 2019
🚨︎ report
Ever heard the joke about the jump rope?

Skip it

πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/BurninGreen
πŸ“…︎ Feb 24 2019
🚨︎ report
In the forest, a sad lonely looking turtle begins to climb slowly up a huge tree. Half way up, it edges along a branch, sighs, then jumps. It falls smacking into the ground, bouncing and tumbling across the forest floor...

Recovering and bruised, he slowly climbs the tree again, jumps and falls to the ground.

The turtle tries again and again, while a couple of birds sitting on a branch watch his pathetic efforts.

Finally, the female bird turns to her mate, β€œDarling, don't you think it’s time to tell him he’s adopted?"

πŸ‘︎ 145
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Jun 30 2018
🚨︎ report
Why did The Executioner jump the queue?

Because he was trying to get Ahead

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/sudeep_bablu
πŸ“…︎ Feb 08 2019
🚨︎ report
A recently discovered type of kangaroo can jump higher than the empire state building... reddit.com/r/Jokes/commen…
πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/apoorvm91
πŸ“…︎ May 21 2019
🚨︎ report
What does a janitor say when he jumps out of a closet?

Supplies!

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/c_augustine_m
πŸ“…︎ Apr 21 2019
🚨︎ report
it's possible to jump without a parachute from the top of the Grand Canyon all the way to the bottom.

But not twice.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/kickypie
πŸ“…︎ Apr 08 2019
🚨︎ report
Son: Dad, can kangaroo jump higher than a house?

Dad: Of course, son. Houses cannot jump.

πŸ‘︎ 88
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/FerynaCZ
πŸ“…︎ Jul 17 2018
🚨︎ report
What animal can jump higher than a mountain?

All of them, mountains can't jump.

πŸ‘︎ 51
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/uncandy1965
πŸ“…︎ Nov 11 2018
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the guy who jumps off moving trains?

He's going off the rails

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/hdeifh
πŸ“…︎ Mar 03 2019
🚨︎ report
Can a kangaroo jump higher than a skyscraper?

Well of course he does! Skyscrapers can't jump..

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TheOmerAngi
πŸ“…︎ Feb 13 2019
🚨︎ report
[Pun Request] My golden retrieval likes to jump to other people
πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/marksteve4
πŸ“…︎ Dec 15 2018
🚨︎ report
Why did the nickel jump off the building but the dime didn’t?

Dime had more cents

πŸ‘︎ 27
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Jermz12345
πŸ“…︎ Jul 27 2018
🚨︎ report
A physicist sees a young man about to jump off the Empire State building.

"Don't do it!!" he yelled. "You have so much potential!"

πŸ‘︎ 222
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/derawin08
πŸ“…︎ Dec 02 2017
🚨︎ report
Back when I was in France, I witnessed a man jump off of a bridge.

He was totally in Seine.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Sir_Soft_Spoken
πŸ“…︎ Mar 06 2019
🚨︎ report
*jumps out the window*
πŸ‘︎ 20
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thenamelessone888
πŸ“…︎ Jun 15 2018
🚨︎ report
I grew up in a rough neighbourhood. Kids would jump out and put whipped cream, glacΓ© cherries and chocolate sprinkles on people all the time.

I lived in the gateau.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/AlRedux
πŸ“…︎ Feb 28 2019
🚨︎ report
What's it called when the little mermaid jumps out of the water...?

Aerial!

πŸ‘︎ 23
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/CryptoReaper5
πŸ“…︎ Nov 12 2018
🚨︎ report
My 7yr old son is getting a jump start on being a dad

We were parking and I read the street sweeper sign out loud

Me: Monday 930-11am

Son: it's Thursday

Me: ya I know I was just reading the sign

Son: I was talking to the sign, not you

Me: signs don't speak English

Son: I know, they speak sign language.

Edit: My lazy ass logged in and fixed the formatting.

πŸ‘︎ 1k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/JJTG64
πŸ“…︎ Jan 22 2015
🚨︎ report
Did you know a kangaroo can jump higher than a house?

Houses can't jump.

πŸ‘︎ 1k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/zapolon2
πŸ“…︎ Jan 24 2016
🚨︎ report
What do you call it when a pony jumps from rooftop to rooftop?

Parkhorse.

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/NoogabyNature
πŸ“…︎ Nov 21 2018
🚨︎ report
A man wanted to jump off a building

A scientist who was there yelled at him: Don't, you have so much potential!

πŸ‘︎ 49
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/bladexp210
πŸ“…︎ Mar 22 2018
🚨︎ report
Young goats should be careful when they're out and and about and shouldn't jump into a stranger's car.

That's how you get kidnapped.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/air28uk
πŸ“…︎ Jan 15 2019
🚨︎ report
What happens when a cow jumps over a barbed wire fence?

Udder destruction

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/smokedgouda9
πŸ“…︎ Jan 11 2019
🚨︎ report
When someone commits suicide via jumping they literally jump to a conclusion.
πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/kohpGao
πŸ“…︎ Mar 16 2018
🚨︎ report
"Think before you jump," I said, my palms sweating. "It might not be the right decision..."

"You take bouncy castles far too seriously," my son replied.

πŸ‘︎ 19
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TommehBoi
πŸ“…︎ Aug 19 2018
🚨︎ report
Some species of frog can jump higher than 3-story office buildings.

It's because of their immensely powerful hind legs, and the fact that office buildings cannot jump.

πŸ‘︎ 15
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/LabeledAsALunatic
πŸ“…︎ Sep 02 2018
🚨︎ report
TIL antelope can jump higher than the average house.

It's because of their really strong back legs. Also because houses can't jump

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/rooflespoofles
πŸ“…︎ Nov 11 2018
🚨︎ report
There are two things that always make me jump.

My legs.

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/keithasaurus
πŸ“…︎ Sep 05 2018
🚨︎ report
one time i threatened to jump off a cliff but it was just a bluff
πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/jbhelms
πŸ“…︎ Feb 03 2018
🚨︎ report
Can a kangaroo jump higher than a house ?

Of course, a house can't jump.

πŸ‘︎ 19
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/RottenMind62
πŸ“…︎ May 06 2018
🚨︎ report
To get out of the window, you can either jump or climb down, I’d choose the ladder
πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/DrHaggans
πŸ“…︎ Jan 14 2018
🚨︎ report
A Jump-lead walks into a bar

The bartender says "I'll serve you - just don't start anything"

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/dandan_56
πŸ“…︎ May 29 2018
🚨︎ report
New species of gazelle found jumps higher than the average house.

Mainly because the average house cannot jump.

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Nickfoxtail
πŸ“…︎ Jul 14 2018
🚨︎ report
What would you call a place where toilets jump over your relatives

Johns Hopkins

PS:I came up with this myself but its probably shit anyway lol

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/NawazJK
πŸ“…︎ Sep 01 2018
🚨︎ report
Told my dad I was going to go jump in the shower real quick. He just looked me in the eye and said, "No. Jumping in the shower is unsafe."
πŸ‘︎ 342
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/mayhakc
πŸ“…︎ Jul 28 2015
🚨︎ report
Can a kangaroo jump higher than the Empire State Building?

Of course. The Empire State Building can't jump.

πŸ‘︎ 37
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Nov 12 2019
🚨︎ report
Can a kangaroo jump higher than the Empire State Building?

Of course. The Empire State Building can't jump.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Nov 17 2019
🚨︎ report
Can a kangaroo jump higher than the Empire State Building?

Of course. The Empire State Building can't jump.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Nov 03 2019
🚨︎ report
Can a kangaroo jump higher than the Empire State Building?

Of course, the Empire State Building can’t jump.

πŸ‘︎ 26
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/CdotBigz
πŸ“…︎ Apr 24 2019
🚨︎ report
Can a kangaroo jump higher than the Empire State Building?

Of course. The Empire State Building can't jump.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ExoticEevee2947
πŸ“…︎ May 19 2019
🚨︎ report
A man wanted to jump off a building

A scientist who was there yelled at him: Don't, you have so much potential!

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/bladexp210
πŸ“…︎ Mar 22 2018
🚨︎ report

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