If you’re being chased by a police dog, try not to go through a tunnel, then on to a little seesaw, then jump through a hoop of fire.

They're trained for that!

(Mj)

πŸ‘οΈŽ 4
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/ExtraSure
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 08 2021
🚨︎ report
the jump
πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/AidenTheFurry
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 01 2021
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How can a dog jump higher than a skyscraper?

By jumping on the roof

πŸ‘οΈŽ 22
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/pathrado
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 22 2021
🚨︎ report
What breed of dog can jump higher than buildings?

Any dog... buildings can’t jump

πŸ‘οΈŽ 50
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/KoalaTeaNip
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 27 2021
🚨︎ report
What do you call a bear that jumps, but never lands?

A Peter Panda.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 9
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/sovietsrule
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 23 2021
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Can a kangaroo jump higher than a house?

Of course. Houses can’t jump.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 12
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Former-Ad-6897
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 24 2021
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When the Mod jumps in with an unintentional pun
πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/viaHologram
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 29 2021
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Did you just jump off of a diving board?

🎢 877 SPLASH NOW 🎢

πŸ‘οΈŽ 2
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/synexo
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 25 2021
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I'm hiding in my Finnish Neighbours shed, waiting to jump out and surprise him.

It's like a sauna in here.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 12
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/WhoElseButAlf
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 27 2021
🚨︎ report
What can jump higher, the empire state building or a kangaroo

The kangaroo cause the empire state building can't jump

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/nobody492
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 26 2021
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If a cat tries to jump too far, they tend to pay a price.

It's the fee line.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/TheRealZy
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 15 2021
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I remember standing in solitude, at the end of the long landing overlooking the Pacific Ocean - this disembodied voice was urging me to jump, so I did...

I never could stand up to pier pressure.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 9
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/DinglebarryHandpump
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 21 2021
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Did you hear about the cow that tried to jump a barbed wire fence?

Utter disaster.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 140
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Super4rank
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 22 2021
🚨︎ report
They say a puma can jump higher than your average house...

This is because puma's have powerful hind legs and the fact that houses can't jump.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/robdingo36
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 29 2021
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I bet my 4 kids $5 I could jump higher than my house

I won $20

πŸ‘οΈŽ 4
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Nickatier_Carbs
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 09 2021
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My wife is doing a sponsored parachute jump tomorrow....

....and I'm terrified that the chute might not open.

Last time something that big crashed onto Earth, the dinosaurs got wiped out.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 7
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 08 2021
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Interesting fact: elephants can jump higher than a house.

Because houses can't jump very high.

(My stepson told me a dad joke)

πŸ‘οΈŽ 21
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/kingofthecairn
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 18 2021
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Faulty jump leads?

Don't get me started.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 6
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Stoatwobbler
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 12 2021
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Sure the cow jumped over the moon! You would jump too!

That man’s hands were COLD...

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Elo_Solo
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 14 2021
🚨︎ report
There is a species of frog that can jump higher than a 3 story house

This is due to the frog's incredibly strong hind legs, and the fact that a house can't jump.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 16
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/cornedbeefhash1
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 05 2021
🚨︎ report
Owl jump on the barn-wagon

Knock Knock

Who's there?

Who

... who who?

How did you know I'm an owl! :o

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Ramiel01
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 05 2021
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Those Duke boys sure do like to jump their car over things...

... General Lee speaking.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 19
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/djxiii
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 13 2020
🚨︎ report
Why did the cow jump over the moon?

The cat played the fiddle terribly and the cow wanted to get away from it.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/VegetarianReaper
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 27 2020
🚨︎ report
I saw an insect that was trying to jump on a fat guy's chest again and again.

I think it's preying man tits.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/sodomicity
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 02 2020
🚨︎ report
Why did the toilet paper jump of the building?

To quickly get to the bottom...

πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Beneficial_Diamond73
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 18 2020
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Talking with my brother: β€œHey remember when we would see how far we could jump off the staircase?”

β€œThat just sounds like leaping off ledges with extra steps”

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/ovrlymm
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 15 2020
🚨︎ report
Why did the crazy Mexican jump on the train?

He had a loco motive.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 100
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/nereothefinest
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 16 2020
🚨︎ report
What can you jump over that’s a hundred feet in the air?

A dead centipede.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 20
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/coadnamedalex
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 18 2020
🚨︎ report
How did the Himalayan man jump higher than mount Everest?

Well, that's easy. Mountains can't jump.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 252
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/-taco-rice-
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 07 2020
🚨︎ report
What’s green, has four legs, and is deadly when it jumps on you?

A billiards table

πŸ‘οΈŽ 388
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/pandacoat
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 18 2020
🚨︎ report
"I'm going to jump in the shower"

Funny, most people sing in the shower.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 6
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/ThamilandryLFY
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 07 2020
🚨︎ report
If you willingly jump in the river in Paris,

you must be in-Seine!

(Just thought of this the other day and forgot to post it before. Hope it hasn’t been done before.)

πŸ‘οΈŽ 10
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Samsta36
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 17 2020
🚨︎ report
Two chefs are working on a meal, the first chef is caramelising onions when some spill out the pan, the second chef says β€œwhat happened? Onions can’t jump by themselves”

the first chef responds with β€œthey can if they’re spring onions”

πŸ‘οΈŽ 16
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/thebiunicorn
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 06 2020
🚨︎ report
A physicist sees a man about to jump off of the Empire State Building...

He yells,” Don’t do it, you have too much potential”

πŸ‘οΈŽ 148
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/MCVeteran69
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 15 2020
🚨︎ report
A chap jumps out of an areoplane and his parachute fails to open.

On the way down he meets a chap with no parachute moving up wards. He shouts to him, Hey mate know anything about parachutes? The chap coming up shout No but do you know anything about gas cookers?

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/tiger7971
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 02 2020
🚨︎ report
What is the best vehicle to get a jump from?

A cargo van.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 11
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/FatchRacall
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 15 2020
🚨︎ report
Someone asked me if I could jump higher than a house

Of course I can! Houses can’t jump

πŸ‘οΈŽ 8
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Pomonica
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 28 2021
🚨︎ report
Can a kangaroo jump higher than a house?

Of course! Houses can't jump.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 19
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/SuperGrandPatzer
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 03 2021
🚨︎ report
I heard a kangaroo can jump higher than the Empire State building.

Actually, they all can. Buildings don't jump at all.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 39
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/kdlaz
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 13 2021
🚨︎ report
Technically we can all jump higher than a house..

Because houses can’t jump!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 12
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/kentuckyfriedfuckit
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 26 2021
🚨︎ report
What happens when a cow jumps over a barbed wire fence?

Utter destruction.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 396
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/sasha678910
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 11 2020
🚨︎ report
Can a turkey jump higher than the Empire State Building?

Of course it can! A building can’t jump at all!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 11
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/GoodChadAndUgly
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 17 2020
🚨︎ report
Did you know why a deer can jump higher than an average house?

Because an average house cannot jump!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 9
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/viky_boy
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 01 2020
🚨︎ report
Who can jump higher than mountains?

Everyone, because mountains can't jump!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 34
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/runronnierun89
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 02 2020
🚨︎ report
I can jump higher than a house

Houses can't jump.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 22
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/mootmahsn
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 02 2020
🚨︎ report
Can a Kangaroo Jump Higher Than A House?

No because the house can't fricking jump.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Fiery_Leopard
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 25 2020
🚨︎ report

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