If youβre being chased by a police dog, try not to go through a tunnel, then on to a little seesaw, then jump through a hoop of fire.
They're trained for that!
(Mj)
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︎ Jun 08 2021
the jump
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︎ Jun 01 2021
How can a dog jump higher than a skyscraper?
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︎ May 22 2021
What breed of dog can jump higher than buildings?
Any dog... buildings canβt jump
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︎ Apr 27 2021
What do you call a bear that jumps, but never lands?
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︎ May 23 2021
Can a kangaroo jump higher than a house?
Of course. Houses canβt jump.
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︎ May 24 2021
When the Mod jumps in with an unintentional pun
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︎ Apr 29 2021
Did you just jump off of a diving board?
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︎ May 25 2021
I'm hiding in my Finnish Neighbours shed, waiting to jump out and surprise him.
It's like a sauna in here.
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︎ Apr 27 2021
What can jump higher, the empire state building or a kangaroo
The kangaroo cause the empire state building can't jump
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︎ Apr 26 2021
If a cat tries to jump too far, they tend to pay a price.
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︎ May 15 2021
I remember standing in solitude, at the end of the long landing overlooking the Pacific Ocean - this disembodied voice was urging me to jump, so I did...
I never could stand up to pier pressure.
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︎ Apr 21 2021
Did you hear about the cow that tried to jump a barbed wire fence?
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︎ Feb 22 2021
They say a puma can jump higher than your average house...
This is because puma's have powerful hind legs and the fact that houses can't jump.
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︎ Apr 29 2021
I bet my 4 kids $5 I could jump higher than my house
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︎ Mar 09 2021
My wife is doing a sponsored parachute jump tomorrow....
....and I'm terrified that the chute might not open.
Last time something that big crashed onto Earth, the dinosaurs got wiped out.
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︎ Mar 08 2021
Interesting fact: elephants can jump higher than a house.
Because houses can't jump very high.
(My stepson told me a dad joke)
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︎ Feb 18 2021
Faulty jump leads?
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︎ Feb 12 2021
Sure the cow jumped over the moon! You would jump too!
That manβs hands were COLD...
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︎ Feb 14 2021
There is a species of frog that can jump higher than a 3 story house
This is due to the frog's incredibly strong hind legs, and the fact that a house can't jump.
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︎ Jan 05 2021
Owl jump on the barn-wagon
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Who
... who who?
How did you know I'm an owl! :o
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︎ Jan 05 2021
Those Duke boys sure do like to jump their car over things...
... General Lee speaking.
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︎ Nov 13 2020
Why did the cow jump over the moon?
The cat played the fiddle terribly and the cow wanted to get away from it.
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︎ Dec 27 2020
I saw an insect that was trying to jump on a fat guy's chest again and again.
I think it's preying man tits.
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︎ Dec 02 2020
Why did the toilet paper jump of the building?
To quickly get to the bottom...
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︎ Nov 18 2020
Talking with my brother: βHey remember when we would see how far we could jump off the staircase?β
βThat just sounds like leaping off ledges with extra stepsβ
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︎ Dec 15 2020
Why did the crazy Mexican jump on the train?
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︎ Aug 16 2020
What can you jump over thatβs a hundred feet in the air?
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︎ Oct 18 2020
How did the Himalayan man jump higher than mount Everest?
Well, that's easy. Mountains can't jump.
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︎ Jun 07 2020
Whatβs green, has four legs, and is deadly when it jumps on you?
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︎ Feb 18 2020
"I'm going to jump in the shower"
Funny, most people sing in the shower.
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︎ Sep 07 2020
If you willingly jump in the river in Paris,
you must be in-Seine!
(Just thought of this the other day and forgot to post it before. Hope it hasnβt been done before.)
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︎ Sep 17 2020
Two chefs are working on a meal, the first chef is caramelising onions when some spill out the pan, the second chef says βwhat happened? Onions canβt jump by themselvesβ
the first chef responds with βthey can if theyβre spring onionsβ
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︎ Jul 06 2020
A physicist sees a man about to jump off of the Empire State Building...
He yells,β Donβt do it, you have too much potentialβ
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︎ Jun 15 2020
A chap jumps out of an areoplane and his parachute fails to open.
On the way down he meets a chap with no parachute moving up wards.
He shouts to him, Hey mate know anything about parachutes?
The chap coming up shout No but do you know anything about gas cookers?
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︎ Oct 02 2020
What is the best vehicle to get a jump from?
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︎ Jul 15 2020
Someone asked me if I could jump higher than a house
Of course I can! Houses canβt jump
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︎ Apr 28 2021
Can a kangaroo jump higher than a house?
Of course! Houses can't jump.
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︎ Mar 03 2021
I heard a kangaroo can jump higher than the Empire State building.
Actually, they all can. Buildings don't jump at all.
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︎ Feb 13 2021
Technically we can all jump higher than a house..
Because houses canβt jump!
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︎ Jan 26 2021
What happens when a cow jumps over a barbed wire fence?
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︎ Oct 11 2020
Can a turkey jump higher than the Empire State Building?
Of course it can! A building canβt jump at all!
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︎ Nov 17 2020
Did you know why a deer can jump higher than an average house?
Because an average house cannot jump!
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︎ Nov 01 2020
Who can jump higher than mountains?
Everyone, because mountains can't jump!
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︎ Oct 02 2020
I can jump higher than a house
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︎ Jul 02 2020
Can a Kangaroo Jump Higher Than A House?
No because the house can't fricking jump.
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︎ Apr 25 2020
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