What can you jump over that’s a hundred feet in the air?

A dead centipede.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/coadnamedalex
πŸ“…︎ Oct 18 2020
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"I'm going to jump in the shower"

Funny, most people sing in the shower.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ThamilandryLFY
πŸ“…︎ Sep 07 2020
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If you willingly jump in the river in Paris,

you must be in-Seine!

(Just thought of this the other day and forgot to post it before. Hope it hasn’t been done before.)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Samsta36
πŸ“…︎ Sep 17 2020
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I wanted to teach my goldfish to jump, so I took it to a lake in the mountains

But it turns out spring water is just false advertisement

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πŸ‘€︎ u/tDumFlumph
πŸ“…︎ Dec 29 2019
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Every time someone leaves and tells me they're gonna go jump in the shower I feel like I'm doing something wrong.

I always stand.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/OneUpWill
πŸ“…︎ Dec 11 2019
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Could you be a deer, and jump in front of my car?
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rodolfo20
πŸ“…︎ Feb 20 2019
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Every time my doorbell rings, my dog jumps up and stands in the corner.

He’s a Boxer.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Aug 22 2019
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In the forest, a sad lonely looking turtle begins to climb slowly up a huge tree. Half way up, it edges along a branch, sighs, then jumps. It falls smacking into the ground, bouncing and tumbling across the forest floor...

Recovering and bruised, he slowly climbs the tree again, jumps and falls to the ground.

The turtle tries again and again, while a couple of birds sitting on a branch watch his pathetic efforts.

Finally, the female bird turns to her mate, β€œDarling, don't you think it’s time to tell him he’s adopted?"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Jun 30 2018
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I just watched our dog jump in the pool,

He did a β€œcanine” ball

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πŸ‘€︎ u/iamflexx
πŸ“…︎ Jun 29 2019
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My wife said she was going to jump in the shower this morning

I said probably safer if you just stood there or you could slip

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πŸ‘€︎ u/fit4lyfe85
πŸ“…︎ Jun 10 2019
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(Wife and I laying in bed, dog walks in the room wanting to jump on said bed) Wife: Pretend we're not here

Me: (Sits straight up) Arrgh Mateys!! Are you ready to sail the ocean blue!?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/VM3Bane
πŸ“…︎ Apr 05 2019
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Told my dad I was going to go jump in the shower real quick. He just looked me in the eye and said, "No. Jumping in the shower is unsafe."
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mayhakc
πŸ“…︎ Jul 28 2015
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I grew up in a rough neighbourhood. Kids would jump out and put whipped cream, glacΓ© cherries and chocolate sprinkles on people all the time.

I lived in the gateau.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/AlRedux
πŸ“…︎ Feb 28 2019
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Back when I was in France, I witnessed a man jump off of a bridge.

He was totally in Seine.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sir_Soft_Spoken
πŸ“…︎ Mar 06 2019
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Did you know there's an antelope in Africa that can jump higher than a house?

Houses can't jump.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/bentnotbroken96
πŸ“…︎ Jan 21 2018
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β€œI’m going to jump in the shower real quick.”

β€œYou shouldn’t jump in the shower. Just stand there and let the water run over you.”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/isaac44x
πŸ“…︎ Jan 07 2018
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What do you call someone who jumps off a bridge in Paris?

Inseine

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πŸ‘€︎ u/firesofpompeii
πŸ“…︎ Feb 12 2016
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Why did my crazy Aunt jump into the river in Paris?

I don't know if she's insane, but she's in Seine!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Tysciha
πŸ“…︎ Jul 02 2017
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When my wife tells me she's going to go jump in the shower...

I say be careful that sounds dangerous.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jollyroger24
πŸ“…︎ Apr 08 2017
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3 cats are on a boat. One jumps in how many cats are left on the boat?

None because the other two were copycats.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/spikewolf123
πŸ“…︎ Jan 30 2015
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I'm gonna go jump in the shower real quick.

Sounds dangerous but I trust you. Please be careful.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/bmoreclever
πŸ“…︎ Jul 01 2014
🚨︎ report
Why did the teacher jump in the lake?

Because she wanted to test the water!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ZappBrannigansLaw
πŸ“…︎ Feb 02 2018
🚨︎ report
brb, gonna go jump in the shower real quick

that sounds dangerous

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πŸ‘€︎ u/EVRYEDGE
πŸ“…︎ Oct 20 2014
🚨︎ report

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