the jump
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︎ Jun 01 2021
When the Mod jumps in with an unintentional pun
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︎ Apr 29 2021
What can jump higher, the empire state building or a kangaroo
The kangaroo cause the empire state building can't jump
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︎ Apr 26 2021
I remember standing in solitude, at the end of the long landing overlooking the Pacific Ocean - this disembodied voice was urging me to jump, so I did...
I never could stand up to pier pressure.
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︎ Apr 21 2021
Did you hear about the cow that tried to jump a barbed wire fence?
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︎ Feb 22 2021
Sure the cow jumped over the moon! You would jump too!
That manβs hands were COLD...
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︎ Feb 14 2021
Owl jump on the barn-wagon
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Who
... who who?
How did you know I'm an owl! :o
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︎ Jan 05 2021
Why did the cow jump over the moon?
The cat played the fiddle terribly and the cow wanted to get away from it.
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︎ Dec 27 2020
Talking with my brother: βHey remember when we would see how far we could jump off the staircase?β
βThat just sounds like leaping off ledges with extra stepsβ
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︎ Dec 15 2020
Why did the toilet paper jump of the building?
To quickly get to the bottom...
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︎ Nov 18 2020
Why did the crazy Mexican jump on the train?
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︎ Aug 16 2020
What can you jump over thatβs a hundred feet in the air?
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︎ Oct 18 2020
How did the Himalayan man jump higher than mount Everest?
Well, that's easy. Mountains can't jump.
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︎ Jun 07 2020
"I'm going to jump in the shower"
Funny, most people sing in the shower.
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︎ Sep 07 2020
If you willingly jump in the river in Paris,
you must be in-Seine!
(Just thought of this the other day and forgot to post it before. Hope it hasnβt been done before.)
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︎ Sep 17 2020
Two chefs are working on a meal, the first chef is caramelising onions when some spill out the pan, the second chef says βwhat happened? Onions canβt jump by themselvesβ
the first chef responds with βthey can if theyβre spring onionsβ
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︎ Jul 06 2020
A physicist sees a man about to jump off of the Empire State Building...
He yells,β Donβt do it, you have too much potentialβ
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︎ Jun 15 2020
Why did the saylor jump into the water?
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︎ Sep 12 2020
What is the best vehicle to get a jump from?
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︎ Jul 15 2020
Why did the man refuse to jump out the window?
He didn't want to go through any pane.
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︎ Jul 14 2020
Did you hear about the man who invented a more efficient way to set up the high jump and pole vault?
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︎ May 26 2020
Why didn't 4 jump into the pool?
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︎ Dec 10 2019
A Thomsonβs Gazelle can jump higher than the average house
It can do this due to its powerful hind legs, and the fact that an average house cannot jump
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︎ May 21 2020
My neighbor tried to wager money on whether I could jump the row of bushes between our properties...
But I don't like to hedge my bets.
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︎ Feb 12 2020
I wanted to teach my goldfish to jump, so I took it to a lake in the mountains
But it turns out spring water is just false advertisement
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︎ Dec 29 2019
Every time someone leaves and tells me they're gonna go jump in the shower I feel like I'm doing something wrong.
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︎ Dec 11 2019
Every time my doorbell rings, my dog jumps up and stands in the corner.
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︎ Aug 22 2019
In the forest, a sad lonely looking turtle begins to climb slowly up a huge tree. Half way up, it edges along a branch, sighs, then jumps. It falls smacking into the ground, bouncing and tumbling across the forest floor...
Recovering and bruised, he slowly climbs the tree again, jumps and falls to the ground.
The turtle tries again and again, while a couple of birds sitting on a branch watch his pathetic efforts.
Finally, the female bird turns to her mate, βDarling, don't you think itβs time to tell him heβs adopted?"
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︎ Jun 30 2018
What dog can jump higher than the Empire State Building?
Any dog, because building canβt jump.
(Heard this a long time ago canβt remember where.)
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︎ Feb 13 2019
I just watched our dog jump in the pool,
He did a βcanineβ ball
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︎ Jun 29 2019
Ever heard the joke about the jump rope?
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︎ Feb 24 2019
Why did The Executioner jump the queue?
Because he was trying to get Ahead
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︎ Feb 08 2019
Why did the loaf of bread jump out of the oven and back onto the counter?
Because it always feels good to be kneaded.
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︎ Jun 23 2019
Why did the nickel jump off the building but the dime didnβt?
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︎ Jul 27 2018
(Wife and I laying in bed, dog walks in the room wanting to jump on said bed) Wife: Pretend we're not here
Me: (Sits straight up) Arrgh Mateys!! Are you ready to sail the ocean blue!?
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︎ Apr 05 2019
My wife said she was going to jump in the shower this morning
I said probably safer if you just stood there or you could slip
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︎ Jun 10 2019
*jumps out the window*
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︎ Jun 15 2018
I heard a kangaroo can jump higher than the Empire State building.
Actually, they all can. Buildings don't jump at all.
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︎ Feb 13 2021
Can a turkey jump higher than the Empire State Building?
Of course it can! A building canβt jump at all!
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︎ Nov 17 2020
What animal can jump higher than the Empire State Building?
They all can; the Empire State Building can't jump!
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︎ May 09 2020
Can a Kangaroo jump higher then the Empire State Building?
Ofcourse it can. The Empire State Building can't jump.
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︎ Nov 20 2019
Did you know a white-tail deer can jump higher than the average house?
This is due to its powerful hind legs and the fact the average house can't jump.
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︎ Nov 10 2019
Can a kangaroo jump higher than the Empire State Building?
Of course. The Empire State Building can't jump.
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︎ Nov 12 2019
Can a kangaroo jump higher than the Empire State Building?
Of course. The Empire State Building can't jump.
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︎ Nov 17 2019
A physicist sees a yound men who wants to jump off the Empire State Building.
He yells: βDon't jump! You have so much potential!β
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︎ Oct 30 2019
Can a kangaroo jump higher than the Empire State Building?
Of course. The Empire State Building can't jump.
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︎ Nov 03 2019
Did you know the average mountain antelope can jump higher than a house?
This is mainly due to it's incredibly strong hind legs and the fact houses can't jump.
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︎ Aug 10 2019
A physicist sees a young man about to jump off the Empire State building.
"Don't do it!!" he yelled. "You have so much potential!"
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︎ Dec 02 2017
Can a kangaroo jump higher than the Empire State Building?
Of course, the Empire State Building canβt jump.
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︎ Apr 24 2019
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