Jumper Puns

The bartender goes: "Don't start anything here"

I said probably trying to start some shit.

"Okay, bye. I'm gonna bounce now."

The bartender says, "You can stay but don't try to start anything."

I'm in the hospital now waiting to see a cardyologist.

They gave me a replacement....free of charge

I replied ‘Darn it Sharon’

Brain: “I’d like a pint for my friend and I”

Bartender: “Sorry, sir I can’t serve you”

Brain: “Why not?!”

Bartender: “Well, you look like you’re out of your head, and your friend looks like he wants to start something!”

Apparently they are being held for battery charges.

Orders a beer. The bartender say, "Look, I'll go ahead and serve you, but you better not try to start something."

His name was Li Ping Phar

Angoraphobic

Personally, I chose the latter

"Strange," I replied. "But I bet you were warm in winter."

He said “Well there’s no ‘arm in it”

"Move the bar up a bit."

Then I went on one with a cardigan.

Cardi-gone

So if nobody wants to hear me sing, I would understand

And the bouncer said to him "don't you go starting anything in here"

One on each of the two positive and two negative ends:

Jed. Jethro. Granny. Ellie Mae.

("the Clamp-its.")

A man pushes in front of me and my Dad in the queue for the turnstiles at a football match

Dad - Do you like fish?

Queue Jumper - Yes, why?

Dad - Because there's a Plaice for you at the back of the line.

... so I returned it and exchanged it for another one free of charge.

So after a nice meal at the restaurant with my family, the waiter promptly begins to box all the leftovers. After he is finished he asks if we would like a bag for all of our boxes. I look at him and say "no, but I would like a box for my bag." Groans were heard across the table

The bartender says, "we don't usually serve your kind. Just don't start anything, OK?"

Had to share this lil' gem my dad ended our phone call with yesterday.

The bartender said "I'll serve you, BUT DON'T START ANYTHING!"

The bartender says “i’ll serve you, but don’t start anything!”

The bartender said, you can come in, just don't start anything

Bartender says “Don’t start anything!”

The bartender says "I'll serve you, but you better not start anything!"

The bartender looks up warily and says, "You can stay but you better not try to start anything".

Bouncer says "you better not try to start anything."

“, but don’t start anything”

“I’ll serve you, but don’t start anything.”

And ask for a drink the bartender says sure but don't start anything

Bar tender said, "I'll serve you, but don't start anything".

The bartender says, “I’ll serve you, but don’t start anything.”

The bartender says, "I'll serve you, but don't start anything!"

And the bartender says "I'll serve you, but don't start anything!"

Bartender says "Don't you start anything in here!"

The bartender says "I'll serve you, but don't start anything."

The bartender says, "Alright, I'll serve you. Just don't start anything."