Did this painting for my friend (far right) who is a huge Pittsburgh steelers fan. His favorite player is Troy Polamalu... And he likes puns. That's me in the middle.l in my favorite jumper. Thoughts??? reddit.com/gallery/kkbp9y
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πŸ‘€︎ u/smike1981
πŸ“…︎ Dec 26 2020
🚨︎ report
A pair of jumper cables walks into a bar

The bartender said "I'll serve you, BUT DON'T START ANYTHING!"

πŸ‘︎ 44
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CreepyPastaKing1
πŸ“…︎ Nov 19 2020
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What does a bored trampoline jumper say?

"Okay, bye. I'm gonna bounce now."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BowelMovementator
πŸ“…︎ Dec 05 2020
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I couldn't undo the buttons on my jumper, so I tried pulling it over my head but got it stuck.

I'm in the hospital now waiting to see a cardyologist.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rav4xle
πŸ“…︎ Oct 15 2020
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A jumper cable walks into a bar

The bartender says β€œi’ll serve you, but don’t start anything!”

πŸ‘︎ 40
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Evanthekid16
πŸ“…︎ Aug 20 2020
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A drunk walks into a bar with jumper cables around his neck.

The bartender says, "You can stay but don't try to start anything."

πŸ‘︎ 19
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jigsatics
πŸ“…︎ Oct 02 2020
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A jumper cable walks into a bar

The bartender said, you can come in, just don't start anything

πŸ‘︎ 47
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πŸ‘€︎ u/wantsumCHEESE
πŸ“…︎ Jul 15 2020
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A jumper I bought was picking up static electricity, so I returned it to the shop.

They gave me a replacement....free of charge

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πŸ‘€︎ u/warmo1981
πŸ“…︎ Aug 30 2020
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A lady at work commented on the holes in my jumper.

I replied β€˜Darn it Sharon’

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ThinkingOz
πŸ“…︎ Aug 06 2020
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Two jumper cables walk into a bar

The bartender goes, "I'll serve you, but don't start anything!"

πŸ‘︎ 36
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kevin_kevinson1
πŸ“…︎ May 07 2020
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Jumper cables walk into a bar

Bartender says β€œDon’t start anything!”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/lvrcerosis
πŸ“…︎ Jul 09 2020
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A brain and a set of jumper cables walk into a bar...

Brain: β€œI’d like a pint for my friend and I”

Bartender: β€œSorry, sir I can’t serve you”

Brain: β€œWhy not?!”

Bartender: β€œWell, you look like you’re out of your head, and your friend looks like he wants to start something!”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mnhill2088
πŸ“…︎ May 06 2020
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I was stopped by a Trooper today, he took my jumper cables into custody.

Apparently they are being held for battery charges.

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/badges254
πŸ“…︎ Jan 03 2020
🚨︎ report
A jumper cable walks into a bar

The bartender says "I'll serve you, but you better not start anything!"

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Gearidall_M_Grey
πŸ“…︎ Aug 31 2019
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A set of jumper cables walks into a bar

The bartender looks up warily and says, "You can stay but you better not try to start anything".

πŸ‘︎ 20
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πŸ‘€︎ u/GotMyOrangeCrush
πŸ“…︎ Oct 28 2019
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Guy walks into a bar with jumper cables on his neck...

Bouncer says "you better not try to start anything."

πŸ‘︎ 27
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πŸ‘€︎ u/chuckyocouch_
πŸ“…︎ Feb 13 2019
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A jumper cable walks into a bar...

Orders a beer. The bartender say, "Look, I'll go ahead and serve you, but you better not try to start something."

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DrewciferCDXX
πŸ“…︎ Mar 01 2019
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I once met a famous Chinese Ski jumper

His name was Li Ping Phar

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Arch3typ3_
πŸ“…︎ Jan 09 2019
🚨︎ report
a jumper cable walked into a bar the bartender said "I'll serve you but don't start anything"
πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mexicantrombone
πŸ“…︎ Sep 22 2018
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So some jumper cables walk into a bar

And ask for a drink the bartender says sure but don't start anything

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/toolaroola12
πŸ“…︎ Mar 07 2019
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What is a phobia of jumpers called?

Angoraphobic

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Akohlimckenzie
πŸ“…︎ Jan 09 2019
🚨︎ report
"I used to be a long jumper," said my date.

"Strange," I replied. "But I bet you were warm in winter."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TommehBoi
πŸ“…︎ Jan 07 2019
🚨︎ report
When it comes to roofing houses, there's only two kinds of people; jumpers and climbers

Personally, I chose the latter

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πŸ‘€︎ u/-CrestiaBell
πŸ“…︎ Aug 22 2018
🚨︎ report
You hear about the jumper cable in the bar?

Bar tender said, "I'll serve you, but don't start anything".

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πŸ‘€︎ u/WaterNapkinFork
πŸ“…︎ Dec 31 2018
🚨︎ report
I asked my Dad why he had a third sleeve in his jumper

He said β€œWell there’s no β€˜arm in it”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/pip_goes_pop
πŸ“…︎ May 11 2018
🚨︎ report
What did the high jumper say to the letter H?

"Move the bar up a bit."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TommehBoi
πŸ“…︎ Oct 25 2018
🚨︎ report
I went on a date with a long jumper.

Then I went on one with a cardigan.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TommehBoi
πŸ“…︎ Jul 20 2018
🚨︎ report
Someone told me that I sing "Jumper" by Third Eye Blind really poorly

So if nobody wants to hear me sing, I would understand

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Draykonslayer
πŸ“…︎ Oct 23 2018
🚨︎ report
Did you here about the magician who made his jumper disappear?

Cardi-gone

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Neviss99
πŸ“…︎ Nov 08 2018
🚨︎ report
πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/cctblues
πŸ“…︎ Dec 21 2014
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A pair of jumper cables walk into a bar...

The bartender says, "I'll serve you, but don't start anything!"

πŸ‘︎ 48
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πŸ‘€︎ u/EyeballSandwich
πŸ“…︎ Aug 23 2014
🚨︎ report
A pair of jumper cables walks into a bar

Bartender says "Don't you start anything in here!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Zebrahead13
πŸ“…︎ Jun 17 2016
🚨︎ report
So a guy walked into a bar with jumper cables around his neck

And the bouncer said to him "don't you go starting anything in here"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/NewGenRain
πŸ“…︎ Aug 22 2015
🚨︎ report
The jumper I got for Christmas kept picking up static electricity...

... so I returned it and exchanged it for another one free of charge.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomt94
πŸ“…︎ Jan 05 2016
🚨︎ report
I labeled the four 'claws' on my car's jumper cables

One on each of the two positive and two negative ends:

Jed. Jethro. Granny. Ellie Mae.

("the Clamp-its.")

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πŸ‘€︎ u/gone4011s
πŸ“…︎ May 11 2015
🚨︎ report
How my Dad deals with queue jumpers...

A man pushes in front of me and my Dad in the queue for the turnstiles at a football match

Dad - Do you like fish?

Queue Jumper - Yes, why?

Dad - Because there's a Plaice for you at the back of the line.

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πŸ“…︎ Apr 24 2016
🚨︎ report
A set of jumper cables walks into a bar...

The bartender says, "Alright, I'll serve you. Just don't start anything."

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/germnor
πŸ“…︎ Feb 16 2015
🚨︎ report
A jumper cable walks into a bar...

The bartender says, "we don't usually serve your kind. Just don't start anything, OK?"

Had to share this lil' gem my dad ended our phone call with yesterday.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mogeek
πŸ“…︎ Oct 16 2014
🚨︎ report
A jumper cable walks into a bar. The bartender says β€œI’ll serve you...”

β€œ, but don’t start anything”

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/snypershot
πŸ“…︎ Jul 12 2019
🚨︎ report
A jumper cable walks into a bar. The bartender says,

β€œI’ll serve you, but don’t start anything.”

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ClebberBoi
πŸ“…︎ Dec 08 2018
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A jumper cable walks into a bar. The bartender says I’ll serve you, but don’t start anything!!!!
πŸ‘︎ 41
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Hobostarz
πŸ“…︎ Sep 29 2018
🚨︎ report
A jumper cable walks into a bar...

The bartender says, β€œI’ll serve you, but don’t start anything.”

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CanioEire
πŸ“…︎ Jan 18 2019
🚨︎ report
A jumper cable walks into a bar....

And the bartender says "I'll serve you, but don't start anything!"

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Firemouth
πŸ“…︎ Sep 13 2014
🚨︎ report
A Jumper Cable walks into a bar

The bartender says "I'll serve you, but don't start anything."

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/gavino245
πŸ“…︎ Jun 22 2015
🚨︎ report

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