How do you steal a sweater?
My daughter got me a “Canada “ sweater for Christmas... I asked why since we live in the USA?
“It’s aspirational “ she said.
Ooooof...
If a highly skilled bird lands on your father’s sweater...
That’s a pro sparrow on your fleecy dad. Looking forward to a happy 2021!
A sweater I purchased was picking up static electricity, so I returned it to the store.
They gave me another one, free of charge.
Why did the small pepper wear a sweater?
Why did the chef give a bird a sweater?
He wanted to make the duck confit.
Did you know that it takes 3 sheep to make one sweater?
Amazing, I didn't even know they could knit.
What are you when you perspire in a sweater
I read an article earlier that said it actually takes three sheep to make one sweater…
I didn't even know they could knit!
What's a cop's favorite type of sweater?
Grandmother's hair sweater.
My mother just told me she was sending me a sweater made of my grandmother's hair. As if that isn't bothersome enough, she's also sending me the tool used to make it. Evidently, she expects my wife to make one as well, keeping with tradition.
"Mom," I said, "This is so awful. Please don't send me that stuff."
"But Ben," she says, "It's a family hair loom."
The sweaters they gave to the photography students at my schoo
Perfect for sweater weather
A friend of mine made a sweater out of alphabet soup and a needle.
I asked "how'd you manage that one?"
He said, "it was easy once I put together a string of letters"
If your girlfriend borrows your sweater forever
Me: "Honey, have you seen my sweater"?
Wife: "I think you left it in the cardigan".
Why did the bartender put on a sweater?
She thought it was a little drafty.
My favorite Christmas sweater
Why did the klepto only knit metal sweaters?
What did 50 Cent say to his grandma after she knitted him a sweater?
For some reason, the cashier wanted me to steal the sweater I already owned..
She told me to swipe my cardigan.
I paid $20 for a $50 sweater.
Breaking News: A turtleneck seller is to appear in court for selling his turtlenecks to the public, and just killing so many turtles. And sweater or not he wins, he was really a bad salesman.
My wife was picking feathers off my sweater...
and turns to me and asked, "have you been cheating on me with a bird?"
So I look at her right in the eye and said, "I swear... It was just a peck on the cheek."
She almost kicked me out of the house.
What do you call Keanu Reeves when he has a Sweater on?
A sweater can be an absolute ewe knit.
I always get along with people wearing sweaters.
They’re so easy to warm up to.
What do you call a gambler's sweater?
The government should watch out for the sweater conspiracy theory.
My grandma made me a sweater
Its 80 degrees outside and my co-worker is wearing a sweater in this heat
When I asked him about it he said "I'm just that cool"
I once bought a sweater that was picking up static electricity, so I returned it to the store.
They gave me another one free of charge.
A sweater I bought was picking up so much static electricity that I had to return it to the store.
They have me another one, free of charge.
The sweater I bought recently kept picking up static electricity, so I returned it to the store
They gave me another one, free of charge
The sweater I got for Christmas was picking up static electricity. So I went to the store to return it.
They gave me another one. Free of charge.
I got a new sweater for Christmas, but it was picking up too much static electricity
I returned it for a new one, free of charge
A sweater I bought was picking up static electricity, so I returned it to the store.
They gave me another one, free of charge.
I got a new sweater for Christmas, but it was picking up too much static electricity
I exchanged it for a new one, free of charge
A sweater I bought was picking up static electricity. So, I returned it to the store.
They gave me another one free of charge.
The sweater I got last Christmas kept picking up static electricity, so I took it back to the store and exchanged it for another one…
The sweater I bought from the store was picking up static electricity, so I went back to change it.
They gave me another one, free of charge.
I read an article earlier that said it actually takes three sheep to make one sweater…
I didn't even know they could knit!
The sweater my kids gave me last Christmas kept picking up static electricity…
So I took it back to the store and exchanged it for another one…free of charge.
My wife bought me a sweater that was picking up static electricity, so I went to the store to change it.
They replaced it with a new one, free of charge.
I got a new sweater that kept picking up static electricity.
So I took it back and exchanged it for another—free of charge.
Someone told me that it takes 5 sheep to make a sweater.
I didn't know they could knit!
The sweater my kids gave me last Christmas kept picking up static electricity, so I took it back to the store and exchanged it for another one…
Did you know it takes 3 sheep to make one sweater?
That’s amazing. I didn’t even know they could knit.
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