A friend has deer using her property as a breeding ground. Some people would be mad, but cut them some slack. After all...

...they're just trying to make a buck.

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📅︎ Apr 17 2017
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Boss claimed his Slack stopped updating yesterday

Boss [9:10 AM] Sorry - missed everything yesterday. Apparently my Slack was frozen...

Me [9:24 AM] We just figured you were... slacking. YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! https://media.giphy.com/media/v9rfTQBNqdsSA/giphy.gif

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📅︎ Oct 09 2015
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Fresh pressed slacks...

...are the definition of irony.

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📅︎ Jun 11 2016
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My tailor kept yanking my pant leg til it dragged across the carpet.

"Bro, would you cut me some slack?"

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👤︎ u/jeromocles
📅︎ Mar 08
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What did my lazy tailor tell me?

Suit yourself!

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📅︎ Aug 05 2019
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I eat when I'm stressed and I'm stressed when doing taxes...

I wind up come April in a higher slacks bracket!

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📅︎ Mar 11 2019
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A swordsman was late to his training session...

Upon arrival he said, "Cut me some slack man!"

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👤︎ u/xevetv
📅︎ Mar 19 2019
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I was advised to post these here. I apologize in advance.

What did members of the Politburo wear to keep cool in the summer?

A: Lenin suits

What did the Soviet General Secretary say when he slipped and fell on ice in front of the Kremlin?

A: That'll leave a Marx!

What did the Commissar say to the workers on the collective farm when they slacked off?

A: Stop Stalin and get to work!

What did the Chinese President say when he stubbed his toe?

A: Mao! That hurts!

An officer in the Iranian army is talking to a subordinate.

The officer says, "Private, I think it's gonna rain."

The private says, "You think so, sir? The sky is completely clear and the sun is shining."

20 minutes later it starts to rain, a total deluge ensues.

The private says, "That was an amazing prediction, sir!. It did rain!"

The officer looks at the private, pats him on the shoulder and says, "Private, Ayatollah you so."

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📅︎ Nov 21 2018
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The pants factory has begun making all my inseams too long.

I say they should cut me some slack.

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📅︎ Jan 16 2018
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Not a dad, but planning to pull this one out on my children when I take them fishing

So, I'm carrying around all gear, going out to the river. I "accidentally drop it, and pick most of it up, leaving only some fishing line. I then yell to my son "come on, pick up the slack!"

And one day, I hope he learns from me, and does the same to me. And just when he thinks he's gotten me I responded "you must be trolling".

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👤︎ u/2pillows
📅︎ Mar 16 2016
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I pulled off a gutsy dad joke this morning.

My wife woke up late. So she asked me to help her with her morning routine, things like making her a lunch and stuff like that. When she was ready for work, she said, "Thanks, Husband. Sorry you had to pick up the slack. I got a little behind."

I teasingly said, "Is it under the rest of it?" ^^Oh ^^man, ^^I ^^hope ^^she ^^finds ^^this ^^funny.

Thankfully, she got a good laugh out of it.

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👤︎ u/k_kolsch
📅︎ Jun 13 2014
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Dadjoked my girlfriend yesterday

We saw a post on Imgur about movie stars being ageless, and she started going on about Sandra Bullock...

GF: How the heck does Sandra Bullock look better now than she did in the 90s? What is her secret? And don't tell me it's genes.

Me: Jeans? Naw, I mostly see her in slacks and dresses, so it can't be that.

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📅︎ Jun 01 2015
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Driving by a fender bender

One car was being operated by a small Mexican woman and the other was filled with four guys dressed up in white shirts, gray slacks and ties. Two of the guys were holding bibles in their hands so we could only assume that the group of dressed up gents were Mormons.

My dad slowed down and said: "Well, it seems to be that they let jesus take the wheel."

edit: grammar

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📅︎ Jul 23 2014
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