rick ash-tree
He said he'd never give it to me.
It's a great way to start the decade off with a bang.
Son: "woah, what the hell, that's a walking, knocking, talking sink, like what is that, can they even do that?"
Father: "of course they can, son. For centuries. Millennia even. They lay dormant for years at a time and then reanimate every once in a while to go somewhere new. "
Son: " I literally had no idea, that's insane, Dad."
Father: "pretty crazy, right? Now let that sink in."
I can’t count on anyone
The first line is massive Then they get smaller and smaller
Fine, I said, suture self.
Suture self
Well, I guess that backfired.
Title
My 13 year old daughter's new boyfriend is named Brennan.
I keep calling him Brendon.
Every time, she replies "Dad, there is no D! It's BRENNAN. NO D! Got it?!?"
And I am just thinking to myself "Good, Good...let's keep it that way."
Me: I think I have your elbow. Dad: I thought I felt someone grab me.
Everyone else should do the same. The world economy is going to crash. If 50 cents isn't worth anything, we're all screwed.
We'd be a really shitty hospital if we didn't have any patience.
I was drinking with some friends when we were talking to one of them about his type of women. I asked him "tits or ass" and he said something like "I have to go with ass, although I have nothing against tits." So naturally I said "Oh well I generally prefer to be against tits actually." Ha
Later I was chilling with my girlfriend when the way we were cuddled together reminded me, so I told her that story. She groaned and said something about guys are always focused on one thing while girls like her were more well-rounded individuals. I couldn't help but respond by grabbing a boob and saying "Yes, you are well rounded!"
Hope she realizes what a great father I could be.
