My herd of cows got loose and wandered into a field of Marijuana
The stakes have never been so high
The Franciscan priest left the monastery to start a flower shop, but before he could open, a flock of sheep in the village got loose and trampled him to death.
Only ewes can prevent florist friars.
My octopus got loose in a football field.
It took ten tackles to catch him.
(not sure if this has been said before, but I just thought of it)
Speaking of magicians... what do you call a magician when he looses all his magic?
I owed my friend $20 so I gave a few dollars, some loose change, and a few small pieces of fried chicken
Two thistles are arguing over who has the better yard The one turns to the other and says "your dirt is way too loose, man, look" and yanks him up and out of the ground Second thistle looks up at the first and goes
"I artichoke you for that"
Why did the coffee loose its job?
My optometrist says that I have a screw loose.
Why did people loose so much money in derivative products and markets.
Because they had no option.
What do you call a loose fitting dress on a cow?
>A MOO MOO!
<<Thanks folks! I'm here all week! Don't forget to tip your cows!>>
You loose ya phone and ya wallet but Alicia keys still there.
What happens when Eren's pant is loose?
Warning: when you host a lobster race, all shell can break loose
What do you call a midget psychic on the loose?
I lost some loose change
And haven't seen them cents.
I signed up for an exercise class, and they said to wear loose clothing.
If I HAD any loose clothing, I wouldn't have signed up to begin with!
I thought these surgical pants were mighty loose in the hips and long in the legs!
If you don’t get the joke, you might have a screw loose
Poor Shark has a Loose Canine
Why did the orchestra loose its tv contract?
Was the gymnast born loose and limber?
Be careful! Theres a deadly fruit on the loose
He has 7 charges of armed Strobbery
My kid didn't want to tell me that his tooth was loose.
I had to pull it out of him.
They said a killer was on the loose in the mall
I went to hide in the watch store to buy me some time
What do you call it when an Elephant has a loose tooth? Perfect joke with the LSU/Alabama game going on right now..
Cereal killer seems to be on the loose
I always carry a lot of loose change when I’m with my kids.
This way I can’t be accused of lacking common sense.
Has anyone seen my glasses. I've managed to loose sight of them.
Did you hear about the anime about cutting loose?
It’s called Attack on Tighten...
I was trying to hammer down a loose board at the cottage...
I'm not much of a craftsman but my fiancé says I nailed it.
The cops questioned me about the dangerous hacker on the loose.
The tiger got loose at the circus and made it's first kill quick.
It went right for the juggler.
Breaking News: Cereal Killer on the Loose
There's a cannibal on the loose who only eats people living under assumed names.
The media are calling him the Om Nom Nom de Plume.
Bought some detox tea to loose weight.
It is sublime served with Chips Ahoy/Oreo.
I won't loose the sails captain!
100% guaranteed way to loose weight without dieting:
Go to space; all astronauts are weightless.
Do you have any loose leaf Dad?
Sorry son, I keep all my leaves tightly bound.
I used to have this girlfriend that was really "loose". I'm pretty sure she had 61 lovers before me.
I know this for a fact, because she always used to call me her 60 second lover.
Bribes made of loose change
Always offer a little in-cent-tive
Did you hear about the escaped midget psychic on the loose ?
There’s a small medium at large.
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