To all the members of this subreddit, an open letter:
A clown held a door open for me.
I'm running a D&D campaign and I figured out the best riddle for the players to solve to open a door.
"Take thine father's blade and ascend!"
>!The solution is Pa's Sword 1234!<
Yesterday when I walked into a store, a clown held the door open for me.
I thought it was a nice jester
If you receive an email about tinned meat, don’t open it.
My Dentist can say one magic word and can get anyone to open their mouths.
He must be the Wizard of Ahhhs.
The Franciscan priest left the monastery to start a flower shop, but before he could open, a flock of sheep in the village got loose and trampled him to death.
Only ewes can prevent florist friars.
Singers might open doors with their talents, but thieves can do it off key.
How come Santa never rides his open sleigh in May?
Which program do jedi use to open PDFs?
OPun (Open source Puns) database from my site released
Hopefully this post is allowed. 5 or so years ago, I decided to post puns that I either came up with or enjoyed a lot. My goal was to make it easy to find puns based on a topic or subject. So I heavily tagged all of the entries with relevant information. I've consistently uploaded new puns on at least a weekly basis, but usually every 3 days.
I've amassed a large collection that I've decided to open source. I've dumped my database into a JSON file that is open and free to use (with proper attribution).
Let me know what you think!
https://punatorium.com/opun
Why should you always knock on the fridge door before you open it?
Because there could be a salad dressing!
Hitler was reborn and decides to open a restaurant for young audiences.
It's his cool n' aryan future!
I went to an open-air cafe yesterday and it rained.
It took me four hours to eat my soup.
In Schrödinger's thought experiment, if you open the box and the cat is dead,
then your curiosity killed the cat.
Who is the most open-minded president?
I’ve decided to open a museum dedicated to bracelets that happen to be magnetic.
Hopefully it will be a big two-wrist attraction.
Metallica should open up a chain of mattress discount stores!
And call it "Nothing else Mattress"
If you get and email titled knock knock don’t open it
It’s a Jehovah’s Witness working from home
If you're skydiving and your parachute doesn't open...
Do you get your money back?
Why are locksmiths allowed to remain open during lockdown?
Why are open doors good for storing things?
I’m going to open a KPOP themed discotheque....
.... and I’m going to call it, “Seoul Train”.
What would be the name of of the nutrition store the Mandolarian would open?
I'm sick and tired of people coming into my house, trying to sell me books, and then just marching out and leaving the door wide open.
Were these people born in a Barnes and Noble or something?
Female Twitter post...Do men still open car doors ?
Comment: "Well yeah! How the fuck do we get inside?"
A man walks into an open casket funeral and approaches the widow at the front. He asks: "Mind if I say a word?". "No, go ahead" she replies.
"Bargain" the man says.
"Thanks" the woman replies. "That means a great deal."
I'm planning to open my own healthy food and supplements store.
When one door closes another opens
Other than that it's a pretty good car.
I made myself a small open pie filled with sliced apples and sugar, but I misplaced it shortly after. Suddenly I was no longer hungry
I'd completely lost my appletart
My uncle always said "when one door closes another door opens"
Great guy,terrible kitchen fitter.
If you see an email with ground pork and processed ham in the subject line, don’t open it...
I wanted to open a restaurant that only served scrambled eggs.
But my wife talked me out of it.
She said it was too whiskey.
My grandfather always used to say, “As one door closes another one opens.”
Lovely man.
Terrible cabinet maker.
My wife emailed me our wedding photos, but I couldn’t open any of the files.
I always have trouble with emotional attachments.
Daughter: "Can you open this, dad?"
opens the jar
Yep! I sure can!
closes it back and hands it back
My daughter again " ..... "
How do you open a green door
Both of my parents don't identify with the gender they were assigned at birth. They are both very honest and open people.
I guess you could say they're transparent.
So last night my boyfriend left the bedroom door open to get more heat in the room because there are more heating vents in the hallway than in the bedroom. I said, "You might say it's eVENTful." He didn't laugh. So then I said, "You'll laugh eVENTually."
When I open the fridge after a long day at work only to find water, milk and juice, I start to feel like David Gilmour.
"How I wish... How I wish you were beer."
You know what’s the worst thing about keeping an open mind?
You’ll end up getting a splitting headache.
You know I always wanted to open my own sandwich shop. I would have all the meat and bread money could buy...
Problem was I was afraid something would go a rye
If you get an email about spiced meat, don't open it.
I normally knock on the fridge door before I open it...
Just in case there’s a salad dressing
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