25 Hilarious Relax Puns - Punstoppable 🛑

Doctor: "Relax David, It's just a small surgery. Don't panic!!"

Me: "But my name isn't David."

Doctor: "I know, I'm David."

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👤︎ u/VERBERD

📅︎ Mar 01 2021

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What do plants like to relax on?

Ferniture

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👤︎ u/enjoyinglifetoday

📅︎ Apr 12 2021

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What does a python drink to relax?

Gerbil tea.

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👤︎ u/MookieV

📅︎ Jan 22 2021

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My daughter was all worked up, and I told her to relax. She screamed "I can't!!!".

So I asked her if she could lax again.

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👤︎ u/kiltebeest

📅︎ Jan 30 2021

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When my daughter is nauseous, I sing to help relax her...

Apparently she's not a big fan of 'Let It Go'

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👤︎ u/foxesarezuper

📅︎ Dec 06 2020

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Where do meteorologists relax ?

Where do meteorologists relax after work? At the isobar!

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👤︎ u/spinnaker190

📅︎ Sep 15 2020

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Pretty stoked it's the weekend! Gonna relax and get drunk hans style...

Solo

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👤︎ u/postymcpostface21

📅︎ Oct 24 2020

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Relax

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👤︎ u/orlanthi

📅︎ Jun 30 2020

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Anyone I ever dated was impressed when I told them I liked to relax on my poop deck.

They were always disappointed when I showed them it was just a regular deck with dog poop on it.

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👤︎ u/Anthonybrose

📅︎ Oct 24 2020

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When I'm really feeling stressed out, I massage auto parts to relax...

Sometimes, I just knead a brake.

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👤︎ u/thomasbrakeline

📅︎ May 21 2020

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What do you call a cow that's comfortable to sit and relax on?

A Cowch

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👤︎ u/Kerlandays

📅︎ Apr 08 2020

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My wife recommended I do some light reading to relax at the end of the day...

Not really relaxing as my eyes are in pain, but I managed to make out "60 Watts - Made in China".

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👤︎ u/Onegodoneloveoneway

📅︎ Sep 17 2016

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This evening, everyone remember to relax and sit in front of the TV

Because you will see nothing if you sit behind it.

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👤︎ u/chaff800

📅︎ Dec 21 2019

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I hope to one day be rich enough to buy a ring-shaped island chain formed of coral, where I can retire to relax.

I’ll call it my No Worries Atoll.

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👤︎ u/abridgetooclose

📅︎ Jan 03 2020

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When my wife went into labor, I was going to tell her dad jokes to try to relax her, but I was worried about the delivery.

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👤︎ u/DuffManSzALotAThings

📅︎ Jan 06 2019

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I can’t relax when I have multiple options for where to sleep when I’m camping

It’s two tents.

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👤︎ u/BlooShinja

📅︎ Dec 18 2019

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As a refrigerator technician, after a hard day on the job, I like to relax...

And chill out.

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👤︎ u/thomasbrakeline

📅︎ Oct 20 2019

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How do pirates relax?

ASM Arrrrrrrrrr

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👤︎ u/boxymcboxbox

📅︎ Sep 22 2019

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I told my wife: "I was thinking we should relax in the park with one of my friends."

She said, "Picnic."

"Jesus," I said, 'I always knew you fancied him."

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👤︎ u/TommehBoi

📅︎ Sep 10 2019

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The other day at work somebody told me to relax...

I said, no. I always lax right the first time.

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👤︎ u/Farqwarr

📅︎ Feb 03 2019

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What's the roughest place to relax in Italy?

Spaghetto

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👤︎ u/passaleph3

📅︎ Jul 31 2018

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What do you listen to when you want to relax?

Soothe jazz of course!

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👤︎ u/Usernamechecksout101

📅︎ Jun 24 2017

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Where does Santa Claus go to relax?

On sleigh-cation!

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👤︎ u/heidgerken

📅︎ Dec 17 2016

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Doctor: Relax, David. It’s just a small surgery, don’t panic.

Me: my name isn’t David.

Doctor: I know. I’m David.

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👤︎ u/sarcasticpremed

📅︎ Jul 12 2020

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My wife recommended I do some light reading to relax at the end of the day.

Not really relaxing as my eyes are in pain, but I managed to make out “60 Watts - Made in China”.

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👤︎ u/Quint_Cordewener

📅︎ Jun 11 2019

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