When my daughter is nauseous, I sing to help relax her...

Apparently she's not a big fan of 'Let It Go'

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πŸ‘€︎ u/foxesarezuper
πŸ“…︎ Dec 06 2020
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Doctor: Relax, David. It’s just a small surgery, don’t panic.

Me: my name isn’t David.

Doctor: I know. I’m David.

πŸ‘︎ 952
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sarcasticpremed
πŸ“…︎ Jul 12 2020
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Pretty stoked it's the weekend! Gonna relax and get drunk hans style...

Solo

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πŸ‘€︎ u/postymcpostface21
πŸ“…︎ Oct 24 2020
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Where do meteorologists relax ?

Where do meteorologists relax after work? At the isobar!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/spinnaker190
πŸ“…︎ Sep 15 2020
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Anyone I ever dated was impressed when I told them I liked to relax on my poop deck.

They were always disappointed when I showed them it was just a regular deck with dog poop on it.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Anthonybrose
πŸ“…︎ Oct 24 2020
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Relax
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πŸ‘€︎ u/orlanthi
πŸ“…︎ Jun 30 2020
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When I'm really feeling stressed out, I massage auto parts to relax...

Sometimes, I just knead a brake.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ May 21 2020
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What do you call a cow that's comfortable to sit and relax on?

A Cowch

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Kerlandays
πŸ“…︎ Apr 08 2020
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This evening, everyone remember to relax and sit in front of the TV

Because you will see nothing if you sit behind it.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/chaff800
πŸ“…︎ Dec 21 2019
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I hope to one day be rich enough to buy a ring-shaped island chain formed of coral, where I can retire to relax.

I’ll call it my No Worries Atoll.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/abridgetooclose
πŸ“…︎ Jan 03 2020
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*guy in the red shirt* : "Dude, chill out! You're always so in-tents. You need to relax!!
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Stha118
πŸ“…︎ Jul 30 2019
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I can’t relax when I have multiple options for where to sleep when I’m camping

It’s two tents.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BlooShinja
πŸ“…︎ Dec 18 2019
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My wife recommended I do some light reading to relax at the end of the day...

Not really relaxing as my eyes are in pain, but I managed to make out "60 Watts - Made in China".

πŸ‘︎ 5k
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πŸ“…︎ Sep 17 2016
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When my wife went into labor, I was going to tell her dad jokes to try to relax her, but I was worried about the delivery.
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πŸ“…︎ Jan 06 2019
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As a refrigerator technician, after a hard day on the job, I like to relax...

And chill out.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Oct 20 2019
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How do pirates relax?

ASM Arrrrrrrrrr

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πŸ‘€︎ u/boxymcboxbox
πŸ“…︎ Sep 22 2019
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I told my wife: "I was thinking we should relax in the park with one of my friends."

She said, "Picnic."

"Jesus," I said, 'I always knew you fancied him."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TommehBoi
πŸ“…︎ Sep 10 2019
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The other day at work somebody told me to relax...

I said, no. I always lax right the first time.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Farqwarr
πŸ“…︎ Feb 03 2019
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What's the roughest place to relax in Italy?

Spaghetto

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πŸ‘€︎ u/passaleph3
πŸ“…︎ Jul 31 2018
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What do you listen to when you want to relax?

Soothe jazz of course!

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πŸ“…︎ Jun 24 2017
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Where does Santa Claus go to relax?

On sleigh-cation!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/heidgerken
πŸ“…︎ Dec 17 2016
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My wife recommended I do some light reading to relax at the end of the day.

Not really relaxing as my eyes are in pain, but I managed to make out β€œ60 Watts - Made in China”.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Quint_Cordewener
πŸ“…︎ Jun 11 2019
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