A woman suddenly in labor shouts, shouldnβt! wouldnβt! couldnβt! didnβt! canβt! The doctor says "don't worry."
      βThose are just contractions.β
        π︎ 13k
         
        
        
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︎ Sep 16 2020
        
       
      
     
      All this stress lately has me trying new things. For example, I've discovered that brake fluid is actually delicious. I'm up to a case a day, but there's no need to worry about me.
      
      
        π︎ 47
         
        
        
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︎ Jan 18 2021
        
       
      
     
      *calls mum * son : I'm in hospital but don't worry everything is fine
      Mum : you're the daym doctor and this wasn't funny the first time
        π︎ 48
         
        
        
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︎ Dec 24 2020
        
       
      
     
      I often worry about German sausages
      Basically I fear the wurst.
Edit: thanks for my first award ya loonies ;)
        π︎ 11k
         
        
        
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︎ Aug 23 2020
        
       
      
     
        
        
        
        
      
      NASA put a watch around a potted plant and sent it on a rocket to the sun. I said to my Daughter, "don't worry, it will be ok.."
      "a watched pot never boils"
        π︎ 11
         
        
        
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︎ Jan 20 2021
        
       
      
     
      My wife says that I should worry about the brakes on my car instead of posting on Reddit
      
      
        π︎ 12
         
        
        
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︎ Jan 14 2021
        
       
      
     
      Why doesn't Santa Claus have to worry about catching COVID-19?
      Because he has Santa-bodies.
        π︎ 13
         
        
        
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︎ Dec 11 2020
        
       
      
     
      What do environmentalists worry about when they poo ?
      Whether to save water or to save trees.
        π︎ 5
         
        
        
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︎ Dec 24 2020
        
       
      
     
        
        
        
        
      
      Donβt worry if youβre tall or skinny or rich or poor. And the end of the day...
      
      
        π︎ 12
         
        
        
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︎ Dec 07 2020
        
       
      
     
      Don't worry about catching COVID from the gifts that Santa delivers
      They will all be Santatized
        π︎ 65
         
        
        
        π
︎ Oct 04 2020
        
       
      
     
      I worry about this.
      
      
        π︎ 12
         
        
        
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︎ Sep 08 2020
        
       
      
     
      My friend asks if it is okay to park without paying. I told him, βdonβt worry.β
      
      
        π︎ 6
         
        
        
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︎ Nov 01 2020
        
       
      
     
        
        
        
        
      
      What do you say to an arachnid that worries too much about everything?
      Please, don't be so dramatick!
        π︎ 3
         
        
        
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︎ Nov 08 2020
        
       
      
     
      Don't worry I can find the door myself
      
      
        π︎ 42
         
        
        
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︎ Jul 03 2020
        
       
      
     
      My wife, who's eight months pregnant, asked me if I worry that it's been too hot recently for our baby inside her. I reassured her...
      βNah, itβs probably womb temperature!"
        π︎ 180
         
        
        
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︎ Jul 14 2020
        
       
      
     
      My son cried when he lost his first girlfriend. I told him don't worry its not the end of the world
      
      
        π︎ 8
         
        
        
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︎ Sep 30 2020
        
       
      
     
        
        
        
        
      
      The swordfish has few predators to worry about in the wild.
      Except for the seldom seen penfish which is said to be even mightier.
        π︎ 62
         
        
        
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︎ Jul 08 2020
        
       
      
     
      Dont worry guys, this one isnt 18+
      
      
        π︎ 9
         
        
        
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︎ Aug 25 2020
        
       
      
     
      Don't worry, everyone!
      
      
        π︎ 4k
         
        
        
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︎ Aug 05 2019
        
       
      
     
      Don't worry, ...
      
      
        π︎ 21
         
        
        
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︎ Apr 25 2020
        
       
      
     
        
        
        
        
      
      A friend sent me a text apologizing for the atrocious grammatical errors in his last message. I told him not to worry
      
      
        π︎ 4
         
        
        
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︎ Aug 01 2020
        
       
      
     
      Feeling overwhelmed? Don't worry!
      
      
        π︎ 20
         
        
        
        π
︎ Apr 14 2020
        
       
      
     
      My friend sent me this (donβt worry I didnβt block her)
      
      
        π︎ 47
         
        
        
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︎ Apr 26 2020
        
       
      
     
      Don't worry, I'm fine after the sex operation
      
      
        π︎ 5
         
        
        
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︎ Jun 13 2020
        
       
      
     
        
        
        
        
      
      Doctor: your brain fell out during the accident but don't worry I put it back in
      Me: thanks for reminding me
        π︎ 132
         
        
        
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︎ Jan 29 2020
        
       
      
     
      Don't worry if you didn't get to enjoy 4/20
      
      
        π︎ 31
         
        
        
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︎ Apr 21 2020
        
       
      
     
      My Grandma was talking about the good old days and said βin my day we could leave the door unlocked and not worry about it!β and βwe grew up with nothing but we were happyβ...
      I replied βWell Grandma, I hate to break it to you, but you grew up with nothing because you kept leaving the door unlocked!β
        π︎ 426
         
        
        
        π
︎ Nov 03 2019
        
       
      
     
      You might be worried about overeating while youβre quarantined, but itβs better than risking the spread of disease. So donβt worry...
      It will be worth the weight.
        π︎ 20
         
        
        
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︎ Apr 19 2020
        
       
      
     
        
        
        
        
      
      You vs the curl he tells you not to worry about
      
      
        π︎ 25
         
        
        
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︎ Feb 09 2020
        
       
      
     
      Don't worry about your smartphone or computer spying on you...
      Your vacuum has been gathering dirt on you for years
        π︎ 39
         
        
        
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︎ Dec 23 2019
        
       
      
     
      This is an ill eagle image. (Don't worry, he's much better now.)
      
      
        π︎ 38
         
        
        
        π
︎ Oct 19 2019
        
       
      
     
      "Attention passengers: I'd like to personally welcome you to my first day as a railway conductor. Not to worry though, you're in very capable hands...
      I've been training for this."
        π︎ 18
         
        
        
        π
︎ Jan 28 2020
        
       
      
     
        
        
        
        
      
      My sister talking about Christmas: βI donβt worry about Christmas, I got it all under wrapsβ
      
      
        π︎ 4
         
        
        
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︎ Dec 23 2019
        
       
      
     
      Do not worry, my lips are sealed
      
      
        π︎ 25
         
        
        
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︎ Dec 07 2019
        
       
      
     
      Don't worry the situation is under control
      
      
        π︎ 53
         
        
        
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︎ Aug 19 2019
        
       
      
     
      If you regret your vote in 2016, don't worry about it
      
      
        π︎ 197
         
        
        
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︎ Jun 30 2019
        
       
      
     
        
        
        
        
      
      Don't worry, bee happy!
      
      
        π︎ 5
         
        
        
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︎ Dec 08 2019
        
       
      
     
      Don't worry the spider is smaller than you
      Well yeah, and so is a grenade
        π︎ 8
         
        
        
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︎ Jan 28 2020
        
       
      
     
      My dad said the other day, when I was feeling low, 'don't worry it could be worse, you could be in a hole full of water'
      
      
        π︎ 55
         
        
        
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︎ Jun 28 2019
        
       
      
     
      Man: Ugh, Iβve had really bad gas lately. Doctor: Donβt worry...
      
      
        π︎ 17
         
        
        
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︎ Nov 02 2019
        
       
      
     
        
        
        
        
      
      My buddy is getting his left arm amputated tomorrow. Don't worry, he'll be all right.
      
      
        π︎ 14
         
        
        
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︎ Jun 17 2019
        
       
      
     
      Don't worry, I've got a congealed wepon permit.
      
      
        π︎ 296
         
        
        
        π
︎ Jan 25 2018
        
       
      
     
      If you buy real, block Parmesan you don't have to worry about tossing it in your bag
      
      
        π︎ 16
         
        
        
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︎ Apr 07 2019
        
       
      
     
      Dont worry if a tree tries to bully you...
      They're all Bark and no bite
        π︎ 62
         
        
        
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︎ Nov 07 2018
        
       
      
     
        
        
        
        
      
      I called my parents and told them not to worry, but I'm in the hospital.
      They told me "You're the doctor and this wasn't funny the first time".
        π︎ 13
         
        
        
        π
︎ Oct 23 2020
        
       
      
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