My wife has been taking a course in advanced electrics and it's taken over her life. Everything she says these days concerns resistors, transformers, circuitry, voltage, ampage etc. All fucking day long, I've tried explaining to her it's driving a wedge between us, but she won't listen to reason.

She just buries her head in the sand like an off switch.

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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/awesome_smokey
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 18 2021
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My #1 Concern with my Bear Ranch is...

things could get grizzly.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/drlolbl
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 30 2020
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Got fired as an electrician over safety concerns

But I think their fears were ungrounded

πŸ‘οΈŽ 18
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/invisible_being
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 02 2020
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There is a lot of concern amongst the flat earth brigade with regards social distancing.

They’re worried it’s going to push people over the edge......

πŸ‘οΈŽ 13
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/MrP8978
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 06 2020
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*stares with confusing concern*

Her: what?

Me: ... What IS that?!

Her: what's what?

Me: there's someone on the side of your face...

Her: "what? Oh god, where" proceeds to try to wipe face

Me: right there! .. oh, it's just your ear!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 2
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/breakone9r
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 22 2020
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News broke today that due to salmonella concerns, there is a national recall on just about every type of onion in the united states...

To be honest, I'm not shedding any tears over it.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 10
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/thejohnblog
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 03 2020
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Did you guys hear about AT&T and Verizon dropping out of an upcoming conference due to corona virus concerns?

It’s probably a good thing considering they’re both well-known carriers.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 8
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Dizmodo
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 24 2020
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I signed up for my company’s 401k but I have one concern

I’m not sure I can run that far

πŸ‘οΈŽ 50
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/BoysenberryBeatdown
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 22 2019
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International concerns
πŸ‘οΈŽ 34
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/KevlarYarmulke
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 08 2019
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A baker has a crumby job, its the yeast of his concerns as he probably just kneads the dough
πŸ‘οΈŽ 46
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/_netwinder_
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 28 2018
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The World Health Organization is hosting a new event to show their thoughtfulness and concern for human health

The event will be affectionately named WHO Cares

πŸ‘οΈŽ 11
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/197708156EQUJ5
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 06 2019
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What’s a horse’s primary concern when voting?

A stable economy.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 16
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/longshanks7
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 06 2018
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What do you call transactions made between a lion a witch and a wardrobe that are none of your concern?

Narnia business!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 39
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Souldrax
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 06 2015
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I guess there have been safety concerns regarding NASCAR's track designs; specifically with the turns. In an attempt to address them, the courses were reversed.

They're all right now.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 21
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Thewilltosucceed
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 13 2017
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Concern over ticks

My wife discovered a tick in our house - likely brought in by the dog after a hike with the family that day. At dinner, it prompted a discussion about the relative risk of Lyme disease and its recent increase in media coverage. My wife made the argument that, while incidents were up, the overall risk is really quite low when you look at actually numbers of incidents. As such, the media coverage is not warranted relative to other safety concerns. My rebuttal:

"Frankly, I think it's about time we had a tick talk"

πŸ‘οΈŽ 2
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/canadasecond
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 24 2015
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New road in Iceland to be halted citing concern for elf habitats.

I was reading through current articles of world news today and came across this relatively lighthearted article. My Father's response made it even better.

Iceland will halt construction of a new road as they have received concerns about the safety of elf habitats.

My father determined that the department responsible for this decision was the "Department of Elf and Safety".

http://www.bbc.com/news/magazine-27907358

πŸ‘οΈŽ 9
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/calum231
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 21 2014
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this is a lit-tle concerning
πŸ‘οΈŽ 12
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Sxxov
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 29 2021
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What do you call a scandal concerning a rich engineer where the list of accusations only gets longer and longer over time?

Elongate

πŸ‘οΈŽ 20
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Thatyougoon
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 24 2021
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The wife looked concerned when my son showed an interest in electricals at the age of 5.

He asked about the neutral wire.

I said "don't worry, its just a phase."

πŸ‘οΈŽ 6
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/d3adeyeduck
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 22 2020
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My boyfriend told me as I walked in β€œhey don’t be alarmed but the toilet is smoking”. Concerned, I walked into the bathroom and found this:
πŸ‘οΈŽ 78
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/slebsta
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 01 2020
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The farmer was very concerned when his cows got into his marijuana crop.

The steaks were high.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 12
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/kickypie
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 12 2021
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As far as baby chickens are concerned...

Talk is cheep

πŸ‘οΈŽ 7
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/MyLatestInvention
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 24 2020
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Torque appropriated circumstances call for -in kind- repeat applied force when concerned with most of yer dried and salted pork products and jovial responses.
πŸ‘οΈŽ 19
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/brutalproduct
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 19 2020
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True story: I was a kid, watching TV in our living room. My dad was outside using the grill. All of a sudden he bursts in the door hopping on one foot yelling β€œI stepped on a Bee!”

I was so concerned I jumped up and ran over to him...

Earlier that day my friend and I who were really into mountain biking had been using really sticky letters to put our names on our bikes. We were working near the general area of the BBQ.

Apparently I had dropped one...

Stuck to the bottom of my dads foot was the letter B....

A legendary dad joke from a legendary dad.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 11k
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/AlwaysTheAsshole1234
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 07 2021
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I’m concerned about next year...

I heard it’ll be 2020 too!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/dweebken
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 01 2021
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I'm concerned about getting trumped in this election.
πŸ‘οΈŽ 12
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/horrorhoney
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 25 2020
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A man came in my tech repair shop complaining his nail had damaged his windows laptop and was concerned it wouldn't work anymore

I told him not to worry- he's only scratched the surface

πŸ‘οΈŽ 8
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/theuserwithoutaname
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 19 2020
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Will glass coffins be a success?

Remains to be seen.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 40
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Merlin-5
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 28 2021
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A man turns up to a fancy dress party with no costume apart from a naked woman on his back.

He tells the host he has come dressed as a snail.

"But who's the woman?" The host asks, confused.

"Oh, This is Michelle"

This was my 6 year old cousins favourite joke for a while and it still cracks me up especially given the concerned looks the adults share when the joke starts

πŸ‘οΈŽ 33
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/awkwrdgirl
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 17 2021
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My friend said that he eats more than his brother.

I was more concerned by the fact that he eats his brother.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 11
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/incredibleinkpen
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 24 2021
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I’m concerned after catching my son drinking brake fluid.

He says he can stop whenever he wants.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 13
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/cabbithunt
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 23 2020
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The baker was concerned...

that her bread dough was not rising properly. But that was the yeast of her worries.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 2
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/youtellmebob
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 12 2020
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My friend was concerned his children weren't getting very far...

...which is why we built the larger trebuchet.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 7
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/this_time_i_mean_it
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 14 2020
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What is the most concerning thing about Lyme Disease?

New cases have lately been on an uptick.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 9
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/FernandoLH95
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 02 2020
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During her first pregnancy my wife was concerned with how much labor was going to hurt.

I told her don't worry about it, he came out of me first and it felt fine.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 18
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Anynamethatworks
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 16 2020
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This this is concerning
πŸ‘οΈŽ 7
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/johndeerdrew
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 23 2020
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My therapist says I have a preoccupation with vengeance.

As far as I'm concerned, he's just asking for trouble!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/lodiman77
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 04 2021
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I had concerned friends message me
πŸ‘οΈŽ 26
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/armpittattoo
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 26 2020
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A wizard dad became concerned that whenever his son went to the bathroom, he wasn't giving himself privacy.

One day, the dad went to use the bathroom, thinking it was unused. There was a loud crash and he sighed, staring down at the scattered mess on the floor.

"Please, son," he said, "will you quit leaving the door a jar?"

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/lookoutforthebadger
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 29 2020
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Why weren't Mexicans too concerned about Trump's border wall?

They knew that they would eventually get over it.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 34
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/weaponG
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 25 2019
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Before I became a dad, I was truly concerned that I wouldn't know how to be a good father

Thankfully, turns out it's in my blood. I come from a long line of Fathers.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 1k
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Maimonides_vii
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 18 2018
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Get it..?
πŸ‘οΈŽ 3k
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/cfoster14
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 24 2019
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Swedish inventors have created cyborgs which are hard to distinguish from real humans.

Critics are concerned about the use of artificial Swedeners.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 15
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/JoeFas
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 24 2021
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Double pun.
πŸ‘οΈŽ 3k
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/MemaholicCreeper
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 20 2019
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I'm a turnip, turned down. Concerned, but I don't carrot all. I am what I yam. What am I?

Beets me

πŸ‘οΈŽ 15
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/DCCXXVIII
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 23 2020
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Are you supposed to pull over for a funeral procession?

Of corpse, please come to a dead stop.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/PeeSeaBayBee
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 26 2020
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It was a it concerning that the zoo had such a low fence for the Bobcat exhibit. We knew we were safe when we realized it was distracted by the Deere next door.
πŸ‘οΈŽ 20
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/bettaa
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 26 2019
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It's ok to be concerned about this virus.

I mean even the Sun has 'corona-sphere'

πŸ‘οΈŽ 4
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/mrcheckpointeh
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 18 2020
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I'm concerned people aren't staying in and taking the whole stay at home order seriously

Car dealerships have more cars in their lots than ever!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 4
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/EinHeldenle_Ben
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 26 2020
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My buddy was concerned about his chicken crossing the road.

I said his concerns are poultry.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/JuteScrap
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 04 2020
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You should wear your mask whenever you go to a cemetery in this pandemic.

Cemeteries have a lot of coffin.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 6
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/25BicsOnMyBureau
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 20 2020
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Really excited to be going to this rock concert, I'd love to crowdsurf but I'm slightly concerned

I might get a bit carried away.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 10
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/ThisRecycledAccount
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 27 2020
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Do my dough puns make you cringe?

That's the yeast of my concerns

πŸ‘οΈŽ 15
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/sajinib
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 24 2020
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My therapist says I have a preoccupation with vengeance.

As far as I'm concerned, he's just asking for trouble!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 2
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/lodiman77
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 05 2021
🚨︎ report

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