Concern Puns

things could get grizzly.

But I think their fears were ungrounded

They’re worried it’s going to push people over the edge......

Her: what?

Me: ... What IS that?!

Her: what's what?

Me: there's someone on the side of your face...

Her: "what? Oh god, where" proceeds to try to wipe face

Me: right there! .. oh, it's just your ear!

To be honest, I'm not shedding any tears over it.

It’s probably a good thing considering they’re both well-known carriers.

I’m not sure I can run that far

The event will be affectionately named WHO Cares

A stable economy.

Narnia business!

They're all right now.

My wife discovered a tick in our house - likely brought in by the dog after a hike with the family that day. At dinner, it prompted a discussion about the relative risk of Lyme disease and its recent increase in media coverage. My wife made the argument that, while incidents were up, the overall risk is really quite low when you look at actually numbers of incidents. As such, the media coverage is not warranted relative to other safety concerns. My rebuttal:

"Frankly, I think it's about time we had a tick talk"

I was reading through current articles of world news today and came across this relatively lighthearted article. My Father's response made it even better.

Iceland will halt construction of a new road as they have received concerns about the safety of elf habitats.

My father determined that the department responsible for this decision was the "Department of Elf and Safety".

http://www.bbc.com/news/magazine-27907358

Elongate

He asked about the neutral wire.

I said "don't worry, its just a phase."

The steaks were high.

Talk is cheep

I heard it’ll be 2020 too!

I told him not to worry- he's only scratched the surface

Remains to be seen.

He says he can stop whenever he wants.

that her bread dough was not rising properly. But that was the yeast of her worries.

...which is why we built the larger trebuchet.

New cases have lately been on an uptick.

I told her don't worry about it, he came out of me first and it felt fine.

One day, the dad went to use the bathroom, thinking it was unused. There was a loud crash and he sighed, staring down at the scattered mess on the floor.

"Please, son," he said, "will you quit leaving the door a jar?"

This

Of corpse, please come to a dead stop.

That's the yeast of my concerns

She rubbed the petrol off and drove away. While on the road, she lit a cigarette and her arm caught on fire. Concerned, she started waving her arm out the side of the car.

Amongst all this, the police pulled her over. "What am I under arrest for?" The officer replied "for having a firearm"

Cemeteries have a lot of coffin.

They were caws for concern.

Tomb it may concern …

They knew that they would eventually get over it.

Beets me

Car dealerships have more cars in their lots than ever!

I mean even the Sun has 'corona-sphere'

I said his concerns are poultry.

Thankfully, turns out it's in my blood. I come from a long line of Fathers.

I might get a bit carried away.

Because it had seen some shit.

I screamed, "AND!?"

but visitors still showed up to view the
Tyrannosaurus Wrecks.

He said it looked like it had never been used!

(True story, that. Meaning that he said it. I'm guessing it's something he enjoys saying to people who he doesn't have to give bad or concerning news to.)