What do upholstery and Ex-Lax have in common?

They can both soften your stool.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 25
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/FresnelFaro
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 29 2020
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I'm suing Ex-Lax...

...for defecation of character. That is of course my constipational right. It's better than sitting on my stool and doing nothing.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 4
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Spotted_Lady
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 25 2018
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β€œHey, Watson, why are you taking Ex-Lax?”

No shit, Sherlock.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 12
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 16 2018
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A joke my dad told at LAX today..

We were going through baggage scanning at LAX and the woman said "Does this bag have your toiletries?" My dad said, "Toilet trees? No those are all in my garden!" She smiled, but didn't laugh. Ugh.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 107
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Oceanbox
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 08 2014
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How do you reply to an email about someone freaking out at the Los Angeles International Airport?

Re:LAX

πŸ‘οΈŽ 9
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Raptavis
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 27 2020
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Never trust constipated people

They're so full of shit.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 33
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Godredd
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 17 2018
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The other day at work somebody told me to relax...

I said, no. I always lax right the first time.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 9
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Farqwarr
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 03 2019
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I would not want to take an airline out of Los Angeles...

The security is always so LAX

πŸ‘οΈŽ 4
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/AndyK2001
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 29 2018
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Why are Chilean LaCrosse players so calm?

Because they like to Chil-Lax

πŸ‘οΈŽ 2
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Citizen_MGS
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 27 2018
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A friend from Los Angeles is visiting...

But I really don't want to talk to them. I'm worried I might have SoCal anxiety disorder.

...And admittedly, I was hesitant to share that pun. I'm worried it LAX something important, or that it's just going to get Los in translation.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 6
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/JoePeppy
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 01 2017
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An Airport Twofer

I was hanging out with my dad and grandpa this weekend. My grandpa was talking about how big the airport in LA was compared to Detroit.

My dad chimes in "yeah it's a big airport but I heard the security is pretty LAX" groans ensue

He adds "I heard when you retire from working there they give you a bottle of ex-lax"

That'll do dad. That'll do.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 42
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/sindustrial777
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 30 2014
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Security at Los Angeles International Airport was very chill

I guess it was LAX.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 1k
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Asks_For_Milkshakes
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 25 2016
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