What do upholstery and Ex-Lax have in common?

They can both soften your stool.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/FresnelFaro
πŸ“…︎ Mar 29 2020
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I'm suing Ex-Lax...

...for defecation of character. That is of course my constipational right. It's better than sitting on my stool and doing nothing.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Spotted_Lady
πŸ“…︎ Mar 25 2018
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β€œHey, Watson, why are you taking Ex-Lax?”

No shit, Sherlock.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jan 16 2018
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A joke my dad told at LAX today..

We were going through baggage scanning at LAX and the woman said "Does this bag have your toiletries?" My dad said, "Toilet trees? No those are all in my garden!" She smiled, but didn't laugh. Ugh.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Oceanbox
πŸ“…︎ May 08 2014
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My daughter was all worked up, and I told her to relax. She screamed "I can't!!!".

So I asked her if she could lax again.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kiltebeest
πŸ“…︎ Jan 30 2021
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How do you reply to an email about someone freaking out at the Los Angeles International Airport?

Re:LAX

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Raptavis
πŸ“…︎ Jul 27 2020
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Never trust constipated people

They're so full of shit.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Godredd
πŸ“…︎ Sep 17 2018
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The other day at work somebody told me to relax...

I said, no. I always lax right the first time.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Farqwarr
πŸ“…︎ Feb 03 2019
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I would not want to take an airline out of Los Angeles...

The security is always so LAX

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πŸ‘€︎ u/AndyK2001
πŸ“…︎ Jul 29 2018
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Why are Chilean LaCrosse players so calm?

Because they like to Chil-Lax

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Citizen_MGS
πŸ“…︎ Aug 27 2018
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A friend from Los Angeles is visiting...

But I really don't want to talk to them. I'm worried I might have SoCal anxiety disorder.

...And admittedly, I was hesitant to share that pun. I'm worried it LAX something important, or that it's just going to get Los in translation.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/JoePeppy
πŸ“…︎ Jan 01 2017
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An Airport Twofer

I was hanging out with my dad and grandpa this weekend. My grandpa was talking about how big the airport in LA was compared to Detroit.

My dad chimes in "yeah it's a big airport but I heard the security is pretty LAX" groans ensue

He adds "I heard when you retire from working there they give you a bottle of ex-lax"

That'll do dad. That'll do.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/sindustrial777
πŸ“…︎ Jun 30 2014
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Security at Los Angeles International Airport was very chill

I guess it was LAX.

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πŸ“…︎ May 25 2016
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