For some reason this “Magician’s” crap always ends up being shared in my news feeds. Either my grandma or a person from high school or something else will cause it to get put into my feed.
All of his “Magic Tricks” fall apart with knowledge of basic math, the ability to see colors, and/or to count. None of the “pranks” posted- which look obviously staged- even approach funny. Why do people share his stuff?
"I don't want to live on in the hearts of my countrymen; I want to live on in my apartment." http://thisnortheasternlife.blogspot.com/2015/12/quote-of-the-day-for-2015-12-11.html
They basically do the same thing, right?
//Edit 1 - just wanted to thank all of you for the awards and comments - I love the dialog. Semper Fi and happy holidays to you all//
Up front, this is a long story, covers almost a year and spans from Yuma to Pendleton to the Pentagon. In a previous post of mine that so many of you upvoted (thanks, you guys), I mentioned being a little jaded and bitter as a Captain. This is part of how I ended up that way.
This starts just prior to 9/11. I was a new Captain assigned as an accident investigator for Navy and Marines (Marines mostly) for world wide response. I was the person who got called when someone died as a result of an accident (meaning, not homicide, suicide, natural causes, or direct enemy action), on base or in the line of duty off base.
Background – For every fatal incident, there are 3 separate, independent investigations: The JAGMAN (command investigation), the NCIS / criminal investigation (FYI – NCIS is packed full of morons), and the Ground Safety Investigation. I was the latter – it’s not criminal and, further, nothing said to me can be provided to any lawyer or used by the command for punitive purposes (this is important later); If someone tells a lawyer the same thing separately, that’s on them. But my interviews were a lot like a priest during confession – I cannot share any details. Its simply to capture lessons learned and change the organization (from unit to DOD level stuff) so it does not happen again. Hell, in my reports, I never even included names, just ‘Driver’, ‘A-Driver’, ‘Gunner’, ‘CO’, ‘XO’ etc.
Join the Marines, see the world.
I was in K-Bay Hawaii doing an investigation into a Navy guy who was run over by the boat he was driving (different sad/funny story, I’ll post later if you want). I complete the investigation on 9/10/2001 and plan to fly home to Norfolk the next day. Nope, that was 9/11. There for almost a week more. After the flights start back up following 9/11, I’m redirected to MCAS Yuma where an LVS has rolled over and the passenger in the cab is killed. This is that story.
I get from Hawaii to LAX and have to drive to Yuma because the flights were still messed up from 9/11 and start the investigation. [OP Note – I’d like some LVS Driers &/or mechanics to weigh in the comments to verify or call BS on any of the technical stuff]. What I initially find out is that this LVS is carrying fuel to and from field refueling sites to support an aviation training exercise. For those who are unfamiliar, th
... keep reading on reddit ➡So, this campaign had been going on for a while, and was getting close to it's end. Here's the relevant players.
Fighter: an older guy, doesn't like people's crap. For some reason invited our antagonist to this story.
Jim: the problem player, who's alias comes from the fact that I find it funny. Played a paladin, embodied the stereotype lawful stupid.
There are more, but they did very little to contribute to the horror of this story. So, we shall begin.
This campaign had been going for a fairly decent while, and they were around level 18. Before going to the final dungeon and winning the campaign, they wanted to mop up some things around the world they'd been stalling on. On Jim's personal shit list was a dragon.
This specific dragon was a white dragon I'd described as "beyond ancient." This thing was a massive behemoth of a dragon who helped the party since the BBEG had wiped out some of his followers. Why did Jim want this thing dead, you may ask? Well, it's because…
Jim: chromatic dragons are inherently evil, this thing's better off dead!
Fighter: sure, but we should focus on other stuff. This thing really hasn't been described as doing anything evil. What's the harm?
Jim: ah, come on, you're just scared. The thing's like CR 20, we can probably take it.
Me: easy, there. Getting kinda close to metagaming, Jim.
Jim: whatever, come on. Let's just do it.
Eventually, through being a whiner and stubborn as a mule, Jim managed to convince the rest of the party that this dragon needed to go. While he was right about an ancient white dragon being CR 20, this was not ancient.
I'd often described this dragon as "beyond ancient" and "towering over even other dragons they'd seen" since this thing was a white great wyrm. I think subconsciously fighter knew this, but didn't tell the party about it, for… reasons. Idk, fighter was kind of a piece of work in his own right.
The fight begins, and the party somehow miraculously wins initiative against this thing, and take a few swings. They try to take some swings at him, but deal very miniscule amounts of damage. I decide to be a bit merciful, and give them a chance. This thing doesn't see them as much of a threat, so he'd mostly just do a basic job of defending himself. Even with that, his claws and bites tore into the party's hp, and he used his insane mobility to climb or fly out of flanking positions.
Eventually, he reached half HP, and started trying.
He flew into the air, and sent his cold b
... keep reading on reddit ➡I don't want to step on anybody's toes here, but the amount of non-dad jokes here in this subreddit really annoys me. First of all, dad jokes CAN be NSFW, it clearly says so in the sub rules. Secondly, it doesn't automatically make it a dad joke if it's from a conversation between you and your child. Most importantly, the jokes that your CHILDREN tell YOU are not dad jokes. The point of a dad joke is that it's so cheesy only a dad who's trying to be funny would make such a joke. That's it. They are stupid plays on words, lame puns and so on. There has to be a clever pun or wordplay for it to be considered a dad joke.
Again, to all the fellow dads, I apologise if I'm sounding too harsh. But I just needed to get it off my chest.
Do your worst!
I'm surprised it hasn't decade.
A mod who was once featured on this sub for announcing the sub rule of child bullying is okay, but complimenting them is not is it at again with their new decree Snark 101: If you can’t say something snarky don’t say it at all.
This comes after a getting an influx of new users due to Josh Duggar ( the oldest of the 19 kids) being found guilty of two counts of downloading and possessing child pornography. During this time the mods became on lax on the "No Legging Humping" rule. The trial revealed a lot of information about the molestations of his youngers sister ( both to the snarkers and the sisters themselves) - some snarks felt this made them feel differently about being so hard on the Duggar's.
Thus there was some mixed reactions to the modpost:
- One commenter asks for the mods to do something about the influx of memes. Mod Cripplyinganxietylmao does to see the same issue ( -14)
- One commenter points out " If you are fat-shaming, or being super ableist, or advocating for sexual assault on someone, or trivializing someone else's sexual assault, or trivializing/mocking pregnancy/infant loss, or cyber-bullying literal babies and toddlers who have zero say in what bullshit family they're born into, I hate to break it to you, but you're also not as good of a person as you think you are for not being a fundie, IMO."
- To the question "is discussion allowed? or only snarking comments?" our favorite mod follows the rules and gives a very snark response.
- The same mod gives another snarky response - declaring calling out body shaming is actually "gate keeping" when a user says they don't making fun of someone body is all that funny.
- One user states what we are all thinking "I think this sub takes itself too seriously sometimes" it creates some [d
My girlfriend, is sweet, funny, beautiful, and personable. We've been together 8 months and I couldn't be happier. She moved into my apartment this summer and it's been bliss, except for when my parents call with their " concerns". The 3 things they harp on is that she's unemployed, didn't go to college, and that she, as they see it, lacks motivation.
The unemployment thing doesn't bother me because I can support both of us and I'd hate for her to be at some job that makes her miserable just so she can say she works. They used to call for the sole purpose of pestering me, asking me what she did all day. I told them I wasn't worried about that. Fact of the matter is, she loves to cook, so, there'll be days where her day is shopping, meal prep, and cooking. Of course, there are also her " lazy days" as she calls it, where she wakes up at noon and just chills.
My parents found my lax attitude towards her lifestyle so upsetting to them, they told me they " can't do it" anymore, and basically made me choose between her and them. I chose her. She makes me happy and, if 8 months has taught me anything, its that my parents can be annoyingly petty.
They viewed the situation as me having rose tinted glasses for a pretty girl who offers nothing in the relationship.
The End of an Era (again)
Well here we are. After a year of cycle switch-ups, rerates, Swifties failing in rates, interacting with the other music subs (for once), Gamers finally getting their say, the loss of a very important community member, the loss of a less important community member, and any number of countless other obstacles we've finally reached the end of the 2021. And with the reveal of 70's Soul over the past weekend we have now completed our 5th session (cycle? series? season?) of Popheads Rates!
Someone suggested this to me earlier in the year (though I'm sorry I don't remember who!) (Edit: it was Niki! A huge thanks to them for coming up with the idea!! It was a ton of fun to work on!) and I think it'll be fun to take a look back at the past 12 months of rates now that All Stars 5 voting is open (speaking of, don't forget to submit your votes for wildcard spots before December 31st!)
This covers everything covered in the All Stars 5 cycle (+ All Stars 4). So the rates from last December (Contemporary R&B and 1987 Pop Guys) up to last month (High Concept Pop and 70's Soul)
##The Numbers
Over the past year Popheads had:
-
27 ... rates completed
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37 ... different rate hosts
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792 ... different raters (or usernames at least)
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1335 ... main rate songs rated
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3017 ... ballots counted
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2867 ... 11s given out
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1197 ... 0s given out
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28 ... songenialities given out
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176 ... bonus songs/remixes/speeches/TV breakdowns rated
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The average score of all songs from this year was 7.642 which is higher than the total average across all 5 years (overall is at 7.394)
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The average controversy from this year was 1.808 which is lower than the total average controversy across all 5 years (overall is at 1.935)
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The most common score received by songs this year was 7.630, which was given to 5 different songs (All That Ever Mattered - HAIM, Baby Girl - Chloe X Halle, Madame X - Allie X, Without Me - Halsey, Sakura Drops - Utada)
##And the meaningless
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The most common letter to be used at the start of songs this year was 'S' with 150 songs. Followed by 'T' with 97, 'I' with 86, 'B' with 83, and then 'C' with 82
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The most common numbers used at the start of songs are **1
For context I'm a Refuse Driver (Garbage man) & today I was on food waste. After I'd tipped I was checking the wagon for any defects when I spotted a lone pea balanced on the lifts.
I said "hey look, an escaPEA"
No one near me but it didn't half make me laugh for a good hour or so!
Edit: I can't believe how much this has blown up. Thank you everyone I've had a blast reading through the replies 😂
It really does, I swear!
Because she wanted to see the task manager.
Heard they've been doing some shady business.
I apologize for the sarcastic tone of this post, but I have found it is the only way to vent the ineffable anger that possessed me when I heard The Tennessee Titans say that it’s a titan of formality and rectitude. Let me begin by stating my bias. I don’t merely dislike The Tennessee Titans; I absolutely despise them. Contrary to popular belief, The Tennessee Titans employ all sorts of sophisticated methods to "prove" that two wrongs make a right. These methods are, of course, phony analyses that twist the evidence to fit preordained conclusions. However, they lend a "scientific" air to its ideology, which is why it uses them. I doubtlessly hope that its circulars were intended as a joke, although they’re not very funny if they were. All this leaves one wondering just what’s going on in its tasteless, brazen head. The answer, of course, is that The Tennessee Titans proclaim at every opportunity that it’d never kill innocents in cold blood. The organization doth protest too much, methinks.
I have taken the liberty of letting The Tennessee Titans know that in a sense, its coprophagous edicts are quite amusing. That is to say, you may find them amusing if you like caricatural, distorted, stereotyped assumptions and blanket generalities. In short, The Tennessee Titans’s edicts are a kind of long, elaborated, humorless joke, especially when you consider that The Tennessee Titans should stop protesting against their weaknesses and shortcomings. Rather, they should forgive themselves and seek to strengthen theirselves by facing their blathering fears. Then, perhaps, The Tennessee Titans would stop focusing too much on one side of the equation and not enough on the broader perspective of things.
By this, I mean that I feel sorry for The Tennessee Titans detractors. The Tennessee Titans demonizes them relentlessly, typically reciting a laundry list of character faults and random insults without an intelligible word about the substance of what they have to say. I guess that shows that The Tennessee Titans hit pieces reek of Bourbonism. I use the word "reek" because after encountering daily examples of how distasteful The Tennessee Titans can be, most of us are no longer surprised by any of their actions, no matter how saturnine they are and no matter how likely they are to undermine serious institutional and economic analyses and replace them with a diverting soap opera of costive conspiracies.
What I mean to say is that my goal is to get The Tennessee Titans to
... keep reading on reddit ➡Author's Note:
This one hit 8000 words, so it's getting split into two parts that'll both be posted right away as it works best without a delay. Chapter 96 will be posted a week from now on January 17th.
--
Ragnavi tapped her claws on the desk, careful to moderate her Strength so that she didn't ruin its polished wood surface. All it would take was the slightest of touches to pierce through – one of the few detriments to possessing overwhelming power. Breaking things was simple; not breaking them could be a chore.
"Are you certain of this?" She asked, locking eyes with Ardrud. "I would never doubt your prowess, my love-"
"I know you wouldn't," he interjected, with a sly grin. "You're quite vocal with praise during bedroom hours."
She rolled her eyes. "Be serious. The Humans are growing more desperate by the day, and due to our intelligence being compromised, the scaleless bastards are likely aware of the supply convoy's date of travel. It's simple to surmise that, from their perspective, attacking that convoy would be an easy way to gain an advantage. Any Dragonkin who accompanies it will be put at risk of an ambush."
Her fingers twitched. A harsh scratch rang out as she accidentally scraped the table. "Let the other races take up the mantle for once," Ragnavi said, in a dark undertone. "We've done more than our fair share of Human killing. I'm sure the Elves or Harpies will be eager to accept my request if I...ask nicely. They'll understand; the convoy is too important to leave unattended."
"Correct," Ardrud assented. "Which makes it all the more important that I be there to defend it. As you've said, the convoy's survival is vital, and I cannot in good conscience entrust the task to anyone lesser than myself." He put on one of his disarming smiles. "Alas, there is only one person I know who isn't lesser than myself, and she has a very busy schedule, indeed."
The great and mighty Dragon Queen made sure to keep a neutral expression as Ardrud touched his hand to her cheek. "If it helps put you at ease," he began, adopting a conciliatory tone. "I'll bring Iaso and Chosne with me. Our children would be delighted to join their father on a relaxed family outing. The three of us together is overkill, perhaps, yet undoubtedly effective." The corners of his lips twitched. "I'm already looking forward to seeing the Humans' faces when they realize just who it is that they've sprung an ambush on."
For a moment, Ragnavi considered ordering Ardrud to
... keep reading on reddit ➡They’re on standbi
Pilot on me!!
Nothing, he was gladiator.
Dad jokes are supposed to be jokes you can tell a kid and they will understand it and find it funny.
This sub is mostly just NSFW puns now.
If it needs a NSFW tag it's not a dad joke. There should just be a NSFW puns subreddit for that.
Edit* I'm not replying any longer and turning off notifications but to all those that say "no one cares", there sure are a lot of you arguing about it. Maybe I'm wrong but you people don't need to be rude about it. If you really don't care, don't comment.
When I got home, they were still there.
What did 0 say to 8 ?
" Nice Belt "
So What did 3 say to 8 ?
" Hey, you two stop making out "
