What did the military-grade laxative say when he entered the bowels?

“I’ve come to relieve you of your duty”

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📅︎ May 28 2021
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My dog ate laxative.

He became very enemated.

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👤︎ u/CatsCreepMeowt
📅︎ Jan 24 2021
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What do you call it when you mix a laxative with alphabet soup?

Letter rip

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👤︎ u/gotblake
📅︎ Jan 06 2021
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My friend put a bunch of laxatives into my food without me knowing.

With friends like that, who needs enemas?

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👤︎ u/jpep0469
📅︎ Oct 11 2020
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Los Angeles International Airport should sell their own brand of laxatives called LAXatives.
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👤︎ u/Haha_Lostboys18
📅︎ Aug 06 2020
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Upload laxatives, get a download
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👤︎ u/LogangYeddu
📅︎ Feb 03 2020
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What kind of condiment works as a laxative?

Musturd.

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📅︎ May 23 2020
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That laxative dosent work at all!

It's shit medicine

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👤︎ u/applesauce0101
📅︎ Jun 18 2020
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Too much laxative is bad for you

It causes high mud pressure.

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👤︎ u/GotMyOrangeCrush
📅︎ Nov 18 2019
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I bought a really expensive laxative from the pharmacy.

It gave me a good run for my money.

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👤︎ u/porichoygupto
📅︎ Apr 16 2018
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I've combined a laxative and alphabet soup.

[ Removed by reddit in response to a copyright notice. ]

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👤︎ u/Intagvalley
📅︎ Oct 29 2018
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I accidentally drank some holy water with my laxative.

I’m about to start a religious movement.

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👤︎ u/porichoygupto
📅︎ Jul 15 2018
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I accidentally took a sedative and a laxative at the same time.

I slept like a baby.

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👤︎ u/porichoygupto
📅︎ Aug 26 2018
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I just was robbed of my laxatives and prunes!

He really cleaned me out!

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👤︎ u/thomasbrakeline
📅︎ Nov 08 2019
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I accidentally overdosed last night with some powerful laxatives.

Then shit really hit the fan.

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👤︎ u/porichoygupto
📅︎ Jan 11 2019
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My dog swallowed a watch. So I’m keeping myself busy by giving him laxatives and prune juice every hour.

Anything to pass the time.

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👤︎ u/porichoygupto
📅︎ Sep 15 2018
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If the government were to pass out free laxatives...

...would that make them enemas of the state?

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👤︎ u/Spotted_Lady
📅︎ Feb 26 2019
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Ever since I became addicted to laxatives

I feel unstoppable!

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📅︎ Apr 08 2019
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Laxatives

Or allergies from down under?

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👤︎ u/TD3SwampFox
📅︎ Jun 21 2019
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The pharmacy only had one pack of laxatives left, so I bought them.

I’m so relieved

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👤︎ u/whitebeaks
📅︎ Jan 19 2019
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So a guy mixed together laxatives and alphabet soup....

Called it letter-rip!

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👤︎ u/Floormf
📅︎ Nov 06 2018
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I mixed laxatives into my hash brownies.

For s..ts and giggles.

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👤︎ u/50t5
📅︎ Aug 19 2018
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Dear laxatives, you really keep me going.
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👤︎ u/TommehBoi
📅︎ Oct 16 2018
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Running laxative

Went in to buy some laxatives today but couldn’t find any. Customer service said, there was a run on them!

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👤︎ u/albachiel
📅︎ Sep 24 2018
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Why'd the stoner take a ton of laxatives while high?

Oh, just shits and giggles

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👤︎ u/Maimedbystander
📅︎ Apr 29 2014
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My wife works at a laxative factory.

It's a crappy job, but she keeps regular hours.

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👤︎ u/Bigfoothobbit
📅︎ Feb 14 2017
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Why did the guy eat a laxative before the marathon?

Because it gave him the runs.

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👤︎ u/goat_chortle
📅︎ Jul 18 2017
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A colleague was asking about Laxatives at lunch

I said Laxatives? You mean Pooformance Enhancing Drugs?

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👤︎ u/Deadpoodle
📅︎ Mar 16 2015
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Dropped a dad joke after being spiked with laxatives.

I spent a busy week working and was aching all over. During that week, a friend of mine had managed to slip some laxatives into my diet. After a few days of rest, another friend asked how I was feeling. I replied, "I'm not aching as much now, just my arse really. I've had a lot of crap to deal with". This friend knew of the laxatives and groaned audibly.

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👤︎ u/GavinRidley
📅︎ Jul 29 2014
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What does a laxative do? Dad knows...

Dad: Tell me what this laxative bottle says Me: Uh.. "Softens stool" Dad:put it in the kitchen and everyone will be falling over walks out of room laughing to himself

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👤︎ u/rbesfe
📅︎ Feb 16 2015
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I’ve combined alphabet soup with a laxative...

I call it LETTER RIP

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👤︎ u/no1krampus
📅︎ Jan 03 2021
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I made a dish that combines alphabet soup with a laxative.

I call it Letter Rip.

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👤︎ u/MelkorHimself
📅︎ Nov 25 2020
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I've combined a laxative and alphabet soup.

I call it "Letter Rip."

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👤︎ u/Sesh458
📅︎ Oct 05 2020
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I have recently combined my laxative with my alphabet soup.

I call it Letter-rip!

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👤︎ u/RageMonster17
📅︎ Mar 08 2019
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I combined laxatives and alphabet soup.

I call it "Letter Rip."

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👤︎ u/BassWizard420
📅︎ Dec 04 2018
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I bought an expensive laxative today

its given me a good run for my money

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👤︎ u/Reaperfox7
📅︎ Jun 03 2019
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I combined a laxative with alphabet soup...

I call it "letter rip".

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👤︎ u/goodlyearth
📅︎ Mar 11 2019
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