What did the military-grade laxative say when he entered the bowels?
“I’ve come to relieve you of your duty”
What do you call it when you mix a laxative with alphabet soup?
My friend put a bunch of laxatives into my food without me knowing.
With friends like that, who needs enemas?
Los Angeles International Airport should sell their own brand of laxatives called LAXatives.
Upload laxatives, get a download
What kind of condiment works as a laxative?
That laxative dosent work at all!
Too much laxative is bad for you
It causes high mud pressure.
I bought a really expensive laxative from the pharmacy.
It gave me a good run for my money.
I've combined a laxative and alphabet soup.
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I accidentally drank some holy water with my laxative.
I’m about to start a religious movement.
I accidentally took a sedative and a laxative at the same time.
I just was robbed of my laxatives and prunes!
He really cleaned me out!
I accidentally overdosed last night with some powerful laxatives.
Then shit really hit the fan.
My dog swallowed a watch. So I’m keeping myself busy by giving him laxatives and prune juice every hour.
Anything to pass the time.
If the government were to pass out free laxatives...
...would that make them enemas of the state?
Ever since I became addicted to laxatives
Laxatives
Or allergies from down under?
The pharmacy only had one pack of laxatives left, so I bought them.
So a guy mixed together laxatives and alphabet soup....
I mixed laxatives into my hash brownies.
Dear laxatives, you really keep me going.
Running laxative
Went in to buy some laxatives today but couldn’t find any.
Customer service said, there was a run on them!
Why'd the stoner take a ton of laxatives while high?
Oh, just shits and giggles
My wife works at a laxative factory.
It's a crappy job, but she keeps regular hours.
Why did the guy eat a laxative before the marathon?
Because it gave him the runs.
A colleague was asking about Laxatives at lunch
I said Laxatives? You mean Pooformance Enhancing Drugs?
Dropped a dad joke after being spiked with laxatives.
I spent a busy week working and was aching all over. During that week, a friend of mine had managed to slip some laxatives into my diet.
After a few days of rest, another friend asked how I was feeling. I replied, "I'm not aching as much now, just my arse really. I've had a lot of crap to deal with". This friend knew of the laxatives and groaned audibly.
What does a laxative do? Dad knows...
Dad: Tell me what this laxative bottle says
Me: Uh.. "Softens stool"
Dad:put it in the kitchen and everyone will be falling over walks out of room laughing to himself
I’ve combined alphabet soup with a laxative...
I made a dish that combines alphabet soup with a laxative.
I've combined a laxative and alphabet soup.
I have recently combined my laxative with my alphabet soup.
I combined laxatives and alphabet soup.
I bought an expensive laxative today
its given me a good run for my money
I combined a laxative with alphabet soup...
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