My herd of cows got loose and wandered into a field of Marijuana

The stakes have never been so high

πŸ‘︎ 40
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πŸ‘€︎ u/judahthelion014
πŸ“…︎ Apr 11 2021
🚨︎ report
My octopus got loose in a football field.

It took ten tackles to catch him.

(not sure if this has been said before, but I just thought of it)

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/brandspanker95
πŸ“…︎ Apr 22 2021
🚨︎ report
Speaking of magicians... what do you call a magician when he looses all his magic?

Ian

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/finchieIRL
πŸ“…︎ Apr 08 2021
🚨︎ report
I owed my friend $20 so I gave a few dollars, some loose change, and a few small pieces of fried chicken

It was all legal tender

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/buckeyespud
πŸ“…︎ Mar 31 2021
🚨︎ report
Two thistles are arguing over who has the better yard The one turns to the other and says "your dirt is way too loose, man, look" and yanks him up and out of the ground Second thistle looks up at the first and goes

"I artichoke you for that"

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ“…︎ Mar 25 2021
🚨︎ report
Loose Suede Shoes.
πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/awesome_smokey
πŸ“…︎ Feb 19 2021
🚨︎ report
Why did the coffee loose its job?

It was always latte

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/maccer20
πŸ“…︎ Feb 11 2021
🚨︎ report
My optometrist says that I have a screw loose.

But I just can’t see it.

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Steve_McGuilicuty
πŸ“…︎ Jan 31 2021
🚨︎ report
Why did people loose so much money in derivative products and markets.

Because they had no option.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/saswata1194
πŸ“…︎ Feb 07 2021
🚨︎ report
What do you call a loose fitting dress on a cow?

>A MOO MOO!

<<Thanks folks! I'm here all week! Don't forget to tip your cows!>>

πŸ‘︎ 21
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πŸ‘€︎ u/eat-rainbows
πŸ“…︎ Oct 02 2020
🚨︎ report
What happens when Eren's pant is loose?

He titans it.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Artisticspawm
πŸ“…︎ Nov 06 2020
🚨︎ report
You loose ya phone and ya wallet but Alicia keys still there.
πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/throwitintheair22
πŸ“…︎ Sep 09 2020
🚨︎ report
Warning: when you host a lobster race, all shell can break loose
πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/maddawg90
πŸ“…︎ Aug 01 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a midget psychic on the loose?

A small medium at large.

πŸ‘︎ 52
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BloodyMorgan
πŸ“…︎ Aug 14 2020
🚨︎ report
I lost some loose change

And haven't seen them cents.

πŸ‘︎ 19
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mrthatsthat
πŸ“…︎ Aug 29 2020
🚨︎ report
I signed up for an exercise class, and they said to wear loose clothing.

If I HAD any loose clothing, I wouldn't have signed up to begin with!

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/fwillia
πŸ“…︎ Jul 23 2020
🚨︎ report
I thought these surgical pants were mighty loose in the hips and long in the legs!

Sorry, wrong scrub.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Jul 09 2020
🚨︎ report
If you don’t get the joke, you might have a screw loose
πŸ‘︎ 232
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kupalurk-yt
πŸ“…︎ Feb 05 2019
🚨︎ report
Poor Shark has a Loose Canine
πŸ‘︎ 113
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πŸ‘€︎ u/nirenyderp
πŸ“…︎ Sep 22 2019
🚨︎ report
Loose canine.
πŸ‘︎ 26
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MarinaMidas
πŸ“…︎ Sep 22 2019
🚨︎ report
Why did the orchestra loose its tv contract?

Too much violins on tv.

πŸ‘︎ 30
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πŸ‘€︎ u/slvrdiver
πŸ“…︎ Aug 02 2019
🚨︎ report
Was the gymnast born loose and limber?

No, he was taut.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/slawthe
πŸ“…︎ Feb 03 2020
🚨︎ report
Be careful! Theres a deadly fruit on the loose

He has 7 charges of armed Strobbery

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/masesarkidd
πŸ“…︎ Nov 29 2019
🚨︎ report
How to loose friends
πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RokoPlayzYT
πŸ“…︎ Apr 17 2019
🚨︎ report
They said a killer was on the loose in the mall

I went to hide in the watch store to buy me some time

πŸ‘︎ 51
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πŸ‘€︎ u/justanothershady
πŸ“…︎ Sep 14 2019
🚨︎ report
My kid didn't want to tell me that his tooth was loose.

I had to pull it out of him.

πŸ‘︎ 1k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/edhere
πŸ“…︎ Sep 30 2017
🚨︎ report
What do you call it when an Elephant has a loose tooth? Perfect joke with the LSU/Alabama game going on right now..

Tuskaloosa

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Thedeadcatsociety
πŸ“…︎ Nov 09 2019
🚨︎ report
Loose signs?
πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/PunPics
πŸ“…︎ Jan 30 2019
🚨︎ report
Cereal killer seems to be on the loose
πŸ‘︎ 415
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jamulan
πŸ“…︎ Oct 04 2017
🚨︎ report
I always carry a lot of loose change when I’m with my kids.

This way I can’t be accused of lacking common sense.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TaskReddit2019
πŸ“…︎ Jul 31 2019
🚨︎ report
Has anyone seen my glasses. I've managed to loose sight of them.
πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Stone_Miner_1225
πŸ“…︎ Sep 25 2018
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the anime about cutting loose?

It’s called Attack on Tighten...

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/changhaobyu
πŸ“…︎ Jul 18 2019
🚨︎ report
I was trying to hammer down a loose board at the cottage...

I'm not much of a craftsman but my fiancΓ© says I nailed it.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Captain-Americano
πŸ“…︎ Jul 03 2019
🚨︎ report
The cops questioned me about the dangerous hacker on the loose.

I think he ransomware.

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ“…︎ Mar 23 2019
🚨︎ report
The tiger got loose at the circus and made it's first kill quick.

It went right for the juggler.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jamman1358
πŸ“…︎ May 10 2019
🚨︎ report
Bought some detox tea to loose weight.

It is sublime served with Chips Ahoy/Oreo.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/goncaloperes
πŸ“…︎ May 24 2019
🚨︎ report
There's a cannibal on the loose who only eats people living under assumed names.

The media are calling him the Om Nom Nom de Plume.

πŸ‘︎ 77
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ihavespaceballs
πŸ“…︎ Apr 07 2016
🚨︎ report
I won't loose the sails captain!

I will knot!

πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Arklaw
πŸ“…︎ Jul 10 2018
🚨︎ report
Do you have any loose leaf Dad?

Sorry son, I keep all my leaves tightly bound.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/lackofsunshine
πŸ“…︎ Nov 10 2018
🚨︎ report
100% guaranteed way to loose weight without dieting:

Go to space; all astronauts are weightless.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AlexAndertheAble
πŸ“…︎ May 31 2018
🚨︎ report
I used to have this girlfriend that was really "loose". I'm pretty sure she had 61 lovers before me.

I know this for a fact, because she always used to call me her 60 second lover.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/UriahPeabody
πŸ“…︎ Sep 14 2018
🚨︎ report
Bribes made of loose change

Always offer a little in-cent-tive

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SwellMusic
πŸ“…︎ May 31 2018
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the escaped midget psychic on the loose ?

There’s a small medium at large.

πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ‘€︎ u/rebewnoved
πŸ“…︎ Jun 01 2019
🚨︎ report

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