My girlfriend asked if i had seen her grey cardigan...

I told her i don't remember seeing her grey card the first time.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/qbande
πŸ“…︎ Jul 03 2019
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Wife asked if she could go buy another Cardigan.

Told her I didn't want to use my card again.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/tdscott91
πŸ“…︎ Jun 03 2019
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My wife said 'I need to go grab my cardigan'...

I replied: 'what happened to getting it the first time?'.
Edit: my highest rated comment is a dad joke. I'll do my best not to let it go to my head. (Unless i get a call, I'm posting this from my phone)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/StretchSmiley
πŸ“…︎ Oct 02 2016
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What do you call a cardigan that you don't wear anymore?

A Discardigan.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/sentics
πŸ“…︎ Nov 10 2018
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Last night in the forest I saw a wolf wearing a cardigan.

I think it was a knitwearwolf.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bigfoothobbit
πŸ“…︎ Feb 12 2019
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Famous female rapper Cardi B’s real name is Cardigan Backyardigan
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Spiritmo1
πŸ“…︎ Sep 01 2018
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For our wedding anniversary I told my wife I got her a cardigan. After she opened her card she asked where it was...

I pointed to the card and said "I got you a card again"

How is she still with me? I actually got her a trip Vegas.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BaconStripGString
πŸ“…︎ May 12 2017
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My GF stopped me from hanging up my cardigan on a hook

GF: If you hang your cardigan like that you might put a hole in it!

ME: It actually already has a couple holes in it.

She starts frantically examining the cardigan for holes.

GF: Where?!

ME: Where my arms go through!

Nothing beats the groan of disapproval after successfully landing a dad joke.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/slothboyck
πŸ“…︎ Feb 09 2014
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Q: Do you want this cardigan?

A: I didn't even want it the first time.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/recursive
πŸ“…︎ Jun 05 2014
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What does a magician do when they're cold?

The same trick twice.

"Is this your cardigan?"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ahmy123
πŸ“…︎ Jun 04
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Me: "Honey, have you seen my sweater"?

Wife: "I think you left it in the cardigan".

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πŸ‘€︎ u/johnnyhottub
πŸ“…︎ Jan 02
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For some reason, the cashier wanted me to steal the sweater I already owned..

She told me to swipe my cardigan.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mikeybaseball
πŸ“…︎ Jul 04 2019
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Shopping day with wife

Me: what do you want to look for in this store?

W: a cardigan.

Me: you looked for a card already?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/d3hall
πŸ“…︎ Apr 29 2019
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What do you call a gambler's sweater?

A CARD-igan.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/monster6195
πŸ“…︎ Apr 18 2018
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Waitress needed to rerun a debit card at the bar I was working at.

The waitress went up to the customer and said, "Hey, I'm sorry about this but for some reason your card didn't read, I'm going to need your card again."

I overheard this from behind the bar and said, "Amber, it's the middle of the summer, why in the world would this guy have his cardigan."

That was the first and only time I ever got a tip from a guy I never served or talked to.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/lordbearhammer
πŸ“…︎ Sep 21 2014
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True story

I went to return a T-Shirt to Banana Republic today. The item wasn't on my receipt so they asked me to swipe my credit card to see if they could find it in my purchase history.

Cashier: "Hmmm, that didn't work. Sir, would you mind re-swiping, I want to try your card again." Me: "It's a T-Shirt, not a cardigan" My 13 Year Old Son: πŸ™„

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πŸ“…︎ Sep 25 2017
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I can't believe I'm being arrested for shoplifting.

The cashier TOLD me to swipe the cardigan!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/markvark
πŸ“…︎ Aug 31 2018
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I went on a date with a long jumper.

Then I went on one with a cardigan.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TommehBoi
πŸ“…︎ Jul 20 2018
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My dad at a fast food place

Cashier: swipes Dad's credit card. hands it back.

Cashier: looks at register. Sir, can I see your card again? It didn't work the first time.

Dad: I'm not wearing a cardigan.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thevach
πŸ“…︎ Sep 01 2013
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Card Pun

The day was raining like fish blown up by dynamite. The only jacket I had for the situation was fire Red with layered protection from such fish. I'm going to my college computer lab, trying to get my 24 hours of time in there done. It requires you to sign in with your student ID.

"May I see you card?" the teacher asks.

"Sure... So, how much time do I have allotted?" I asked after she signed me in.

"Huh? Oh, wait, sorry, can I see your card again? "

"Wait, I don't own a Cardigan"

Being an English teacher, she smiled and caught it quickly, "No, your card, but your jacket might suffice otherwise."

Edit: This might be too much setup for a stiff joke.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Dragonmind
πŸ“…︎ May 09 2015
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This was too easy.

Wife: "Have you seen my cardigan? I think I left it in the car." Me: "Its there, that's why it's called a CARdigan."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/whooopseee
πŸ“…︎ Feb 18 2014
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I was pretty proud of this one.

Girlfriend: Do you like my cardigan?

Me: Yup. I liked it the first time, too.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/VikingBoner
πŸ“…︎ Jul 12 2014
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My dad made a classic joke today at dinner...

"I think we should hike Mt. Cardigan in the next couple weeks before it gets cold...but you know, you have to bring a sweater!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Laureltess
πŸ“…︎ Aug 22 2013
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