Cardigan Puns

I replied: 'what happened to getting it the first time?'.
Edit: my highest rated comment is a dad joke. I'll do my best not to let it go to my head. (Unless i get a call, I'm posting this from my phone)

A Discardigan.

I told her i don't remember seeing her grey card the first time.

Told her I didn't want to use my card again.

I think it was a knitwearwolf.

I pointed to the card and said "I got you a card again"

How is she still with me? I actually got her a trip Vegas.

GF: If you hang your cardigan like that you might put a hole in it!

ME: It actually already has a couple holes in it.

She starts frantically examining the cardigan for holes.

GF: Where?!

ME: Where my arms go through!

Nothing beats the groan of disapproval after successfully landing a dad joke.

A: I didn't even want it the first time.

So I'll wear a cardigan

Glancing at the car he was astounded to see that the elderly woman behind the wheel was knitting

The trooper crank down his window and yelled to the driver “pull over”

“No!” yelled the woman “it’s a cardigan”

Because people got confused when they ask you to swipe your cardigan.

The same trick twice.

"Is this your cardigan?"

Wife: "I think you left it in the cardigan".

The waitress went up to the customer and said, "Hey, I'm sorry about this but for some reason your card didn't read, I'm going to need your card again."

I overheard this from behind the bar and said, "Amber, it's the middle of the summer, why in the world would this guy have his cardigan."

That was the first and only time I ever got a tip from a guy I never served or talked to.

A CARD-igan.

She told me to swipe my cardigan.

I went to return a T-Shirt to Banana Republic today. The item wasn't on my receipt so they asked me to swipe my credit card to see if they could find it in my purchase history.

Cashier: "Hmmm, that didn't work. Sir, would you mind re-swiping, I want to try your card again." Me: "It's a T-Shirt, not a cardigan" My 13 Year Old Son: 🙄

Me: what do you want to look for in this store?

W: a cardigan.

Me: you looked for a card already?

Cashier: swipes Dad's credit card. hands it back.

Cashier: looks at register. Sir, can I see your card again? It didn't work the first time.

Dad: I'm not wearing a cardigan.

The cashier TOLD me to swipe the cardigan!

Then I went on one with a cardigan.

The day was raining like fish blown up by dynamite. The only jacket I had for the situation was fire Red with layered protection from such fish. I'm going to my college computer lab, trying to get my 24 hours of time in there done. It requires you to sign in with your student ID.

"May I see you card?" the teacher asks.

"Sure... So, how much time do I have allotted?" I asked after she signed me in.

"Huh? Oh, wait, sorry, can I see your card again? "

"Wait, I don't own a Cardigan"

Being an English teacher, she smiled and caught it quickly, "No, your card, but your jacket might suffice otherwise."

Edit: This might be too much setup for a stiff joke.

Wife: "Have you seen my cardigan? I think I left it in the car." Me: "Its there, that's why it's called a CARdigan."

Girlfriend: Do you like my cardigan?

Me: Yup. I liked it the first time, too.

"I think we should hike Mt. Cardigan in the next couple weeks before it gets cold...but you know, you have to bring a sweater!"