Sweatshirt Puns

My friend was talking about a sweatshirt he wanted to get online.

Friend: Its 35 pounds, so about 70 dollars.

Me: Wow! That's a heavy sweatshirt!

Well, it was kind of chilly, so some running tights and a light jacket.

Because yesterday at around 7:30 pm a clown who was wearing a colourful sweatshirt, pulled out a pair of scissors and stared at me. Luckily I had enough agility and I pulled out a rock, because if I would have pulled out a paper, he would have won

So I'm heading outside to go shopping, and I grab my sweatshirt. My dad says that it was too warm outside, just leave it. I, instinctively, said "cool", and he said "no, warm". I dont think I could have sighed any harder at that moment.

About 7 years ago, I started working for a company named Shaw, and they gave me a bunch of shirts and a really ugly sweatshirt. I kept trying to give away the sweatshirt, but nobody wanted it. One day, I had a party, and somebody took the shaw shirt because they didn't bring a jacket and it was cold outside.

My girlfriend at the time said it was "The Shaw-Shirt Redemption".

I had never been more proud.

My uncle walked out of his bedroom wearing a green sweatshirt. My mom perked up and exclaimed in all excitement, "That's my favorite color!" My uncle, unflinching and without missing a beat replied, "Caucasian?" And gives the most wry smile in the midst of a racially awkward silence. I inappropriately giggled. I might be kicked out of the family.

P. S. I know it's not my dad, but he's a dad to some of the people who were in the room. So it counts.

So my family and I were clothes shopping and when we got in the car afterwards, my mom said that something smelled like sweat. My dad turns and says, "well, ChikaChikaSlimShady just bought a sweatshirt!"

I just had a mild sneeze attack, and the last sneeze was, um, productive. I ended up getting mucus on my sweatshirt and I said, "aww it's all on my sweater now. ew"
to which my boyfriend promptly replies with
"snot the end of the world!"
he actually got me a few times but this one needed to be shared.

My sister just bought a sweatshirt and looked at the tag and saw it was made with Canadian fleece. She asked, "Canadian fleece? What does that even mean?"

I replied, "well there's American and Canadian fleece... one is about 500 thread count, the other is a-boat 500 thread count.

She wasn't happy.

Yesterday was Opening Day (baseball) at Target Field (Minnesota). The first 10,000 or so fans received a free blue zip-up hoodie with "Twins" emblazoned on the front. It's a damn fine hoodie.

It's also packed on the stadium concourse. 40,123 attendees that day. As my husband and I are making our way through a dense crowd along the right field concourse, an older gentleman stops me in my tracks with this big grin and says, "Wow, that's a great sweatshirt! Where'd you get it?"

He was holding one in his hand.

His other hand was holding that of his wife, who was rolling her eyes pretty hard. I imagine that was neither the first nor last time he'd made that joke yesterday.