Asked my kids this morning to bring their laundry and separate it into whites and colors. My son holds up some grey sweats and asks which pile.

My response: Not sure son, that’s kind of a grey area.

πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ“…︎ Dec 19 2020
🚨︎ report
Don't sweat the petty things

Also: don't pet the sweaty things

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/allgoodcretins
πŸ“…︎ Dec 01 2020
🚨︎ report
Why are NFL players going to sweat more this year?

Because there will be no fans at games.

πŸ‘︎ 20
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rudy102600
πŸ“…︎ Sep 05 2020
🚨︎ report
Why is boob sweat not called humidititties?
πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/aryanoboii
πŸ“…︎ Jul 20 2020
🚨︎ report
Wow I was a wreck last night -- t-shirt under sweat clothes, under two cotton sheets, under a polypropylene comforter, and a quilt on top of that! I could NOT get warm!

I can't imagine how miserable I'd be if I didn't have that can of Pringles in the cupboard....

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Naitraen
πŸ“…︎ Dec 20 2019
🚨︎ report
My wife thinks I’m sweat

And She’s my ins-perspiration

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/unknownamouse
πŸ“…︎ Jan 30 2020
🚨︎ report
Just woke up in a cold sweat after dreaming I was floating in an Ocean of Orange Soda.

Then I realized it was just a Fanta Sea.

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Tkl15
πŸ“…︎ Oct 07 2019
🚨︎ report
What's that smell? It smells like sweat and Old Spice.

But that's just my two scents.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/bking158
πŸ“…︎ Apr 28 2019
🚨︎ report
New invention for detecting boob sweat

I shall call it the Humidititty

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/hotsprings1234
πŸ“…︎ Jun 05 2019
🚨︎ report
I gave blood, sweat and tears in my previous job.

Which is probably why I'm no longer a barman.

πŸ‘︎ 26
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TommehBoi
πŸ“…︎ Jan 21 2019
🚨︎ report
Two people are having sex in Alabama and they begin to sweat. What is the weather report?

Relative humidity.

πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Car_radio21
πŸ“…︎ Sep 16 2018
🚨︎ report
Just broke a sweat at the gym.

Now I have to put it back together.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ScottyUrb
πŸ“…︎ Apr 08 2019
🚨︎ report
If you suffer from B.O, don't sweat it.
πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TommehBoi
πŸ“…︎ Jan 15 2019
🚨︎ report
The leather hat was an invention that made our head's sweat. Thank god it never cotton.
πŸ‘︎ 82
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πŸ‘€︎ u/pirate_of_the_
πŸ“…︎ Nov 15 2016
🚨︎ report
What makes a priest sweat?

Exorcising

πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Hailvq
πŸ“…︎ Jul 27 2018
🚨︎ report
It took blood, sweat and tears for me to become an artist.

I didn't even need a paintbrush.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TommehBoi
πŸ“…︎ Oct 27 2018
🚨︎ report
Bought an aftershave made of sweat

It's an o dor parfum

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TommehBoi
πŸ“…︎ Jul 21 2018
🚨︎ report
Building up a sweat

I tried exercising, but I was allergic to it. My skin became flushed, my heart raced, and I got all sweaty and short of breath. Very dangerous.

πŸ‘︎ 21
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sprtoad80
πŸ“…︎ Jun 09 2017
🚨︎ report
I sweat less when I wear sunglasses ...

Because I feel cooler

πŸ‘︎ 46
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πŸ‘€︎ u/varsaku
πŸ“…︎ Jul 03 2016
🚨︎ report
Sweat.

So my family and I were clothes shopping and when we got in the car afterwards, my mom said that something smelled like sweat. My dad turns and says, "well, ChikaChikaSlimShady just bought a sweatshirt!"

πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ“…︎ Sep 29 2013
🚨︎ report
Been having hot flashes & night sweats

BF: Maybe you're doing this? (picks up handful of coins, starts sifting through them)

Me: What?

BF: Going through the change

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/PennyTrait
πŸ“…︎ Apr 25 2014
🚨︎ report
Why is it called boob sweat?

When it can be called humidtitties.

πŸ‘︎ 20
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πŸ‘€︎ u/NorseWolfman
πŸ“…︎ Jul 07 2017
🚨︎ report

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