Nurses in the maternity ward don’t want babies to be in shock by the temperature change when they’re born.
So they make sure it’s set at womb temperature.
I had my temperature read today for a Covid screening, and it read 200 degrees
That’s why they call me Mr. Fahrenheit.
I burst into the kitchen and shouted at my wife, "Honey! Whatever you do, do NOT let them take your temperature on your forehead when you go into the supermarket!! It erases your memory!! I went in for bread and milk like you asked..."
"...and came out with two cases of beer!!!"
Mandatory temperature screening will be required for fans attending the Foreigner reunion concert.
If you’re hot blooded, they’ll check it and see.
Today I found out that the coldest possible temperature is -273 degrees Celsius
All my life I thought it was something else but whatever, it’s OK.
What temperature do you set a toy oven?
Did you know that worm population has doubled in the past 80 years to due to the rising temperatures?
Yeah, they're calling it global worming.
I find it so sad that the US uses another unit other than °C or K for measuring temperature.
My brother tried to ban temperature-based puns...
but I still think they're cool.
They're a hot topic in our house.
Two scientists are trying to come up with a way to measure temperature.
One shows the other a prototype thermometer.
"We haven't figured out what to call it yet, but I need you to tell me what temperature this room is when i turn off the air conditioner so it cools to room temperature."
The other scientist gives him the OK and he walks out of the room to turn off the heater.
"OK, what temperature is it?"
"There's no marks on it!" The other scientist replied.
"Well, tell me the height of the mercury on the inside, relative to length of the bottle!"
"Alright" The scientist says. "In that case, it's fair in height"
I’m a little confused by water temperature...
Who is Luke and why is he warm?
I took my 1 year old to the ER with the flu. As the nurse was taking her temperature rectally with the thermometer in the butt, he sympathized with her misery by saying “I know, it stinks.”
To which I responded “It certainly will when you take it out.” I accepted the long awkward silence that followed as thunderous applause.
What is the body temperature of a tauntaun?
To keep the virus away, I'm taking forever to open the door, refusing to change the temperature and only playing games in single player mode.
In other words, I'm doing everything I can to be a bad host.
Star Wars Joke: What is the temperature of a Tauntaun?
A moment of silence for our dear friend, liquid water, who did not survive the 100° temperature...
I lowered my grandpa's temperature to absolute zero
What is the internal temperature of a Tauntaun?
Told to me by a coworker who is also a dad. Unfortunately, his son isn't named Luke.
Every time the Indianapolis NFL team starts an offensive play, the temperature drops
Because there's a Colt snap!
What do you call something that explodes at -273.15 degrees Celsius?
0 K Boomer
The temperature in Motown is Three degrees, Four tops
My deaf-mute postman has such a tough job. He starts work at 3am. In summer he gets attacked by dogs and in winter he has to brave through sub-zero temperatures. But in spite of all this....
I’ve never heard him complain
What's the temperature inside a Tauntaun?
We need to change the temperature FAST
My reaction when I take a trip to the Hoover Dam and the temperature breaks 100°
What's the best temperature to cook a π?
Cuz its the temperature
Me: I'm taking a college class about what it's like 32 degrees below the freezing point of water.
My friend: Cool, do you mind telling me what it's called?
Me: 0F course.
Absolutely livid. Bought a Hawaiian pizza for dinner and I've just burned it. Should've cooked it on aloha temperature.
Why should dads not be allowed to take temperatures?
Because it’s called a thermometer not a therdadeter.
How does the ISS control its temperature?
I remember an era when the temperature was always nice in summer; but we had deep snowfall in winter...
It was the best of climes; it was the worst of climes.
Son: Dad, can you take my temperature?
How do you measure the temperature of a female cannibal who ate her mother?
At what temperature do you cook babies
No matter what the temperature in a room is. It is always room temperature.
How do big lads measure temperature?
Because they’re ABSOLUTE UNITS
What's the internal temperature of a Tauntaun?
What temperature does Luke Skywalker like his baths?
Did you hear about the scientist who lowered his temperature to absolute zero?
What’s the internal temperature of a Tuantaun?
Did you hear about the guy who lived in absolute zero temperatures?
Temperatures in Fahrenheit tower over temperatures in Celsius.
They're very far in height
This water isn't hot - it's the temperature of a Skywalker inside a tauntaun.
What’s the internal temperature of a Tauntaun?
What’s the internal temperature of a TaunTaun?
Why is 0 degrees centigrade the only original temperature?
What do you call your mother when she takes your temperature?
What did the frat bro say when he got a glass of room temperature water?
Cooking meat at high temperatures quickly was invented in the middle east
I don't care about how cold the temperature is!!
It's -273°C and I'm giving absolute zero fuks.
Temperature rising can be explained very easily
"climate" goes up, "abseilmate" goes down.
What's the highest temperature of Rey's Lightsaber?
What's the inside temperature of a Tauntaun?
I have to keep the temperature in my house warm at night because cold air gives me atheism attacks...
...it makes me Confucian all night long.
Darth Vader: What is the temperature of my son's lightsaber?
Which has the higher body temperature, an adult otter or an otter pup?
The pup - it's just a little otter.
There's only one parent who checks my temperature.
I call her a THERMOMETER!
[xPost from r/StarWars] What is the internal temperature of a tauntuan?
My son was born at womb temperature.
What is the temperature inside of a tauntaun?
Dad never fails to tell this joke whenever we watch Star Wars. Along with the duct tape/force joke. (It has a light side, a dark side, and holds the universe together)
What's the temperature inside a beehive?
Local authorities are advising that, due to freezing temperatures, everyone huddle in the corner
because it's 90 degrees there
What is the internal temperature of a Tauntaun?
At what temperature should you bake a pie in the oven?
360 degrees. That way you get 2pi.
"What temperature do we have?"
Sorry if it doesn't translate well, but in spanish is:
"A que temperatura estamos?"
I just said that without thinking, I guess my dad joke gene is fully awake since I had my daughter.
The temperatures are about to dip again.
>Lows are supposed to be freezing to below freezing Wednesday through Sunday.
>What about Home Depot?
Local news anchor just dropped this one in regards to the temperature
"Cue up the Nirvana because we're living in the 90s!"
At what temperature are babies born ?
What's the internal temperature of a tauntaun?
What is the internal temperature of a TaunTaun?