One has an ionic bond. The other was the iconic Bond.
They both go “hehe”
"Get out. This is micelle"
I'm feeling 0K though.
dad to his forlorn son: it’s alright son.. you know what god does when he drops an apple?
son wiping away his tears: what dad?
dad: he grows a pear.
One has heart burn and asks the other "can you pass me atoms?"
Helium doesn't react.
Ion know about that chief.
Turns out it was prime ordinal soup!
You just can't beat that compound interest!
I've got my i-on you.
The bartender says, "Hey, we don't serve noble gases in here!"
Helium doesn't react.
Officer: “Yes, that’s assault!”
Man: “I know it’s a salt, but is it a crime?”
What tree do you wipe your hands on? A palm tree!
I heard a scary math joke, but I’m 2^^2 to tell it!
Have you heard of that new movie, “Constipation”? Well it doesn’t matter, it never came out.
I hurt myself when I went to a theme park in florida. When I went to the doctor, he started wrapping up my left leg, but then I pointed at my right and said “No, doc, it’s dis knee.”
Last night I got mugged by 6 dwarves. Not Happy.
When Queen Elizabeth farts, everyone in the room must pretend like nothing happened. Noble Gasses don’t cause reactions, after all.
What’s the difference between a seal and a sea lion? One electron.
What happens to nitrogen when the sun rises? It becomes Daytrogen!
I called the animal shelter today and said "I've found six kittens in a suitcase in the woods." They said "Are they moving?" I replied "I don't know, but that would explain the suitcase."
Why can’t you trust Atoms? Because they make up everything!
Why do nerds wear glasses? It helps with division.
Why should you tiptoe past the medicine cabinet? You don’t wanna wake the sleeping pills.
What twitches and is found at the bottom of the ocean? A nervous wreck!
What do you call a fat psychic? A four chin teller!
What do you call a 3 foot tall psychic on the run from the law? A small medium at large!
Help, I can’t stop reading books with female protagonists! I’m a heroine addict!
How did Sparticus react when he ate his wife for dinner? He was gladiator!
When does a joke become a dad joke? When the punchline becomes apparent!
19 and 20 got into a fight… 21.
My friend told me, “People who sell meat are disgusting!” So I said, “Yeah, well people who sell fruits and vegetables are grocer!”
How can turtles take photos of themselves? Shell-fie sticks!
What do you call a secret agent molecule? Bond… ionic bond. “Taken, not shared.” What did the dinosaur say to the other dinosaur? (Cut this part, but make a screeching noise)
How much does Santa’s sleigh cost? $0, it’s on the house.
If America switched from pounds to kilograms overnight there would be mass confusion.
I had a splinter once; it eventually got out of hand.
I’m going to go stand outside. If anyone asks, I’m outstanding.
Most people are shocked to find out how terrible an electrician I am!
What do mermaids wash their fins with? Tide What’s the coolest place to use the bathroom? The Lil Jon
Did you know that on average, people want three covers on their bed at all times? But that’s just a blanket statem... keep reading on reddit ➡
Your prompt: Two chemists have discovered an "aggressive molecule"
If something good comes out of this, I will submit this and the story will be acted out as a play. No bamboozle.
All sugars are chiral molecules, meaning their rotation of plane-polarized light can be either left or right handed.
My dad used to wake me up by standing beside my bed and repeatedly saying, "Up and atom (at 'em). Up and proton. Up and electron. Up and molecule." Now he still does it when I'm home from college, and as I get harder to rouse, more subatomic particles.
I was doing some accounting homework when...
Me: What is the acid test ratio?
Dad: States what the acid test ratio is.
Me: Thanks, I should have known that.
Dad: it's okay it's not basic knowledge.
We're at a research conference this week, and my professor was the session chair. He started out with "we all know that H2O is water, but - and I want you to really think about this - what is H2O4?" He then shows a diagram of the molecule for us all to ponder. After a minute he says, "so, what is H2O4? For drinking, bathing, washing up..." Cue a room full of groans and chuckles.
So, we learned about redox reactions in Chemistry yesterday, and the professor had said how the molecules in a redox reaction were called the reductant and the oxidant.
Well, at the end of class, I asked the prrofessor, "So, is it good if my mom tells me I was her favorite oxidant?" Thankfully, the professor laughed, and I got a groan out of someone that was on their way out the door but overheard me.
what do you call a dumb oxygen molecule? an oxymoron.
friend said it was 'like a dad joke'. discuss.
Q: what did the other molecule say to the suspect molecule
A: I got my Ion on you