You can call it a chemis-tree
Helium: Be noble.
I'll show myself out.
Tritium, because it has an half-life.
Isn't that ionic?
"You're out of your element!"
He always gets refused in the sun
...But then I thought, "Na, they've probably heard it before."
I thought to myself, “Dang, hydrogen is powerful”
Q: what did the scientist say when they found 2 isotopes of helium?
Hydrogen oxide, I'm Dad
He wanted a light house
99.9999999% Of All Humans Are Dying On The Earth
“Well, my hydrogen atom lost its electron. So that’s a plus.”
Me: Mostly Hydrogen and Helium
The fattest knight at King Arthurs round table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi.
I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian.
She was only a whiskey maker, but he loved her still.
A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class, because it was a weapon of math disruption.
No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery.
A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering.
A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart.
Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.
A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The police are looking into it.
Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway. One hat said to the other: You stay here; I'll go on a head.
I wondered why the baseball kept
Two men walk into a bar, and the bartender asks "What'll you have?"
The first man says "I'll have some H2O!"
The bartender pours the man a glass, and the first man gets refreshed.
The second man says "I'll have some H2O too!"
The bartender pours the man a glass, and the second man dies.
Funny collection of chemistry puns
What do you get when you mix sulfur, tungsten, and silver? SWAG
Did you hear about the man who got cooled to absolute zero? He’s 0K now.
What do you call a tooth in a glass of water? A one molar solution.
How do Sulfur and Oxygen communicate? A sulfone
What do you call Iron blowing in the wind? Febreeze.
Why do chemists call helium, curium, and barium the healing elements? Because if you can’t helium or curium, you barium!
Why did the noble gas cry? Because all his friends argon.
Why did the acid go to the gym? To become a buffer solution!
Why can you never trust atoms? They make up everything!
Why does hamburger have lower energy than steak? Because it’s in the ground state.
How many moles are in a guacamole? Avocado’s number.
If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice? H2O cubed.
What do chemists... keep reading on reddit ➡
"NamelessNamek! What's the charge of a hydrogen without an electron."
"It has a plus one charge."
"Are you sure?"
He chuckled and nobody else did.