A tree’s wood is 50% carbon, 42% oxygen, 6% hydrogen, 1% nitrogen

You can call it a chemis-tree

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ‘€︎ u/Wergio256
πŸ“…︎ Dec 12 2020
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Hydrogen: Helium, how do I become like you?

Helium: Be noble.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ‘€︎ u/zuwiboiii
πŸ“…︎ Aug 25 2020
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What did the Silver Surfer say when blasted with hydrogen gas?


I'll show myself out.

πŸ‘︎ 42
πŸ‘€︎ u/amiradzim
πŸ“…︎ Sep 04 2019
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What is Thanos' favorite hydrogen isotope?

Tritium, because it has an half-life.

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ‘€︎ u/The_L0ne_Warri0r
πŸ“…︎ May 01 2019
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Hydrogen Chloride and Hydrochloric acid both have the same formula of HCl but are different.

Isn't that ionic?

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ‘€︎ u/floorballouis
πŸ“…︎ Jul 20 2019
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An Hydrogen atom asks Astatine atom
  • Why are you so unstable?
  • Well, idk
πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ‘€︎ u/-Meeseeran-
πŸ“…︎ Mar 16 2019
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What do you call hydrogen with more than 2 oxygen atoms


πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ‘€︎ u/Tofarfi
πŸ“…︎ Dec 01 2018
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What did one hydrogen atom say to the other when it picked up another proton?

"You're out of your element!"

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ‘€︎ u/CollegeRuled
πŸ“…︎ Jan 15 2017
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Hydrogen has a very low self esteem.

He always gets refused in the sun

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ‘€︎ u/TwoMoreDays
πŸ“…︎ Oct 21 2016
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Hydrogenated THC oil is a high margarine commodity
πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ‘€︎ u/CallMeCarrie
πŸ“…︎ Dec 30 2020
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If H20 is on the inside of a fire hydrant, what’s on the outside?


πŸ‘︎ 917
πŸ‘€︎ u/OwenJthomas89
πŸ“…︎ Mar 14 2021
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A proton went before a judge...

... for impersonating a hydrogen atom. The verdict was "guilty as charged".

πŸ‘︎ 16
πŸ‘€︎ u/quietconsigliere
πŸ“…︎ Apr 15 2021
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Can someone help me?

I just bought some water from IKEA but all I got were two canisters of hydrogen and one canister of oxygen.

πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ‘€︎ u/falknorRockman
πŸ“…︎ Apr 03 2021
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πŸ‘︎ 6k
πŸ‘€︎ u/Kenebalism
πŸ“…︎ Oct 07 2020
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I wanted to make a sodium joke

But then i was like Na

πŸ‘︎ 28
πŸ‘€︎ u/noxidexr
πŸ“…︎ Dec 29 2020
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If H20 is water, what's H2O4?

Drinking silly.

πŸ‘︎ 223
πŸ‘€︎ u/heyzeus3891
πŸ“…︎ Nov 18 2020
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I was going to share a joke about sodium on here...

...But then I thought, "Na, they've probably heard it before."

πŸ‘︎ 2k
πŸ‘€︎ u/Majikthise042
πŸ“…︎ Mar 11 2020
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i'm so sorry

Q: what did the scientist say when they found 2 isotopes of helium?

A: HeHe

πŸ‘︎ 69
πŸ‘€︎ u/Enslaved_M0isture
πŸ“…︎ Feb 25 2020
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Some lifeguards at the pool were doing a ph test to see how the pool was doing, and I was fascinated by it.

I thought to myself, β€œDang, hydrogen is powerful”

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ‘€︎ u/Obscure_Things
πŸ“…︎ Jul 08 2020
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What did Dad say to the bottle of water?

Hydrogen oxide, I'm Dad

πŸ‘︎ 21
πŸ‘€︎ u/banks987
πŸ“…︎ Apr 07 2020
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Why did the man fill his attic up with Helium?

He wanted a light house

πŸ‘︎ 23
πŸ‘€︎ u/Brewdaddy01
πŸ“…︎ Nov 20 2019
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The Earth Ist Dangerous..

99.9999999% Of All Humans Are Dying On The Earth

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ‘€︎ u/Quarlie_HD
πŸ“…︎ Apr 25 2019
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β€œHow are you doing?”

β€œWell, my hydrogen atom lost its electron. So that’s a plus.”

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ‘€︎ u/Cylasbreakdown
πŸ“…︎ Sep 17 2019
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My employee asked me what does it take to be a star performer..

Me: Mostly Hydrogen and Helium

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ‘€︎ u/phs_uw
πŸ“…︎ Oct 03 2019
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Puns for Educated Minds
  1. The fattest knight at King Arthurs round table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi.

  2. I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian.

  3. She was only a whiskey maker, but he loved her still.

  4. A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class, because it was a weapon of math disruption.

  5. No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery.

  6. A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering.

  7. A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart.

  8. Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.

  9. A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The police are looking into it.

  10. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.

  11. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

  12. Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway. One hat said to the other: You stay here; I'll go on a head.

  13. I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.

  14. A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center said: Keep off the Grass.

  15. The midget fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.

  16. The soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.

  17. A backward poet writes inverse.

  18. In a democracy it’s your vote that counts. In feudalism it’s your count that votes.

  19. When cannibals ate a missionary, they got a taste of religion.

  20. If you jumped off the bridge in Paris, you'd be in Seine.

  21. A vulture boards an airplane, carrying two dead raccoons. The stewardess looks at him and says, I’m sorry, sir, only one carrion allowed per passenger.

  22. Two fish swim into a concrete wall. One turns to the other and says Dam!

  23. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in the craft. Unsurprisingly it sank, proving once again that you can’t have your kayak and heat it too.

  24. Two hydrogen atoms meet. One says, I’ve lost my electron. The other says Are you sure? The first replies, Yes, I’m positive.

  25. Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused Novocain during a root canal? His goal: transcend dental medication.

  26. There was the person who sent ten puns to friends, with the hope that at least one of the puns would make them laugh. No pun in ten did.

πŸ‘︎ 163
πŸ‘€︎ u/FreshFocusPhoto
πŸ“…︎ Jun 26 2015
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Two men walk into a bar.

Two men walk into a bar, and the bartender asks "What'll you have?"

The first man says "I'll have some H2O!"

The bartender pours the man a glass, and the first man gets refreshed.

The second man says "I'll have some H2O too!"

The bartender pours the man a glass, and the second man dies.

πŸ‘︎ 26
πŸ‘€︎ u/MeowMixSong
πŸ“…︎ Jun 14 2015
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Chemistry Puns

Funny collection of chemistry puns

What do you get when you mix sulfur, tungsten, and silver? SWAG

Did you hear about the man who got cooled to absolute zero? He’s 0K now.

What do you call a tooth in a glass of water? A one molar solution.

How do Sulfur and Oxygen communicate? A sulfone

What do you call Iron blowing in the wind? Febreeze.

Why do chemists call helium, curium, and barium the healing elements? Because if you can’t helium or curium, you barium!

Why did the noble gas cry? Because all his friends argon.

Why did the acid go to the gym? To become a buffer solution!

Why can you never trust atoms? They make up everything!

Why does hamburger have lower energy than steak? Because it’s in the ground state.

How many moles are in a guacamole? Avocado’s number.

If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice? H2O cubed.

What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms? A ferrous wheel.

Why are chemists great for solving problems? They have all the solutions.

What element is a girl’s future best friend? Carbon.

I had to make these bad chemistry jokes because all the good ones Argon.

Anyone know any jokes about sodium? Na

Why can you never trust atoms? They make up everything!

Did you hear about the man who got cooled to absolute zero? He’s 0K now.

What do you do with a dead chemists? Barium

What animal is made up of calcium, nickel and neon? A CaNiNe

What did the chemist snack on during lunch? A β€˜gram’ cracker.

What would you call a clown in jail? Silicon (Silly Con)

What weapon can you make from the elements potassium, nickel and iron? A KNiFe.

How did carbon propose to Hydrogen? With a β€œcarbonkneel”

What did one titration tell the other? Let’s meet at the endpoint.

How can you spot a chemist in the restroom? They wash their hands before they go.

Why are chemists great for solving problems? They have all the solutions.

Anyone know any jokes about sodium? Na

Why do chemistry professors like to teach about ammonia? Because it’s basic material.

Did you hear about the chemist who was reading a book about helium? He just could not put it down

Why do chemistry professor like to

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ‘€︎ u/Punsville
πŸ“…︎ Apr 30 2017
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Got my professor with a chemistry joke!

"NamelessNamek! What's the charge of a hydrogen without an electron."

"It has a plus one charge."

"Are you sure?"

"I'm positive."

He chuckled and nobody else did.

πŸ‘︎ 37
πŸ‘€︎ u/NamelessNamek
πŸ“…︎ Feb 12 2016
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Got my wife from her request

Her: Could you get me a water babe?

Me: Yes, but first I have to get some hydrogen and oxygen babes.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ“…︎ Apr 17 2015
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