Two atoms walk into a bar, one says to the other β€œDang, I left my electrons in the car.” The other replies, β€œAre you sure?”

β€œYa, I’m positive.”

πŸ‘︎ 176
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/LOLMrTeacherMan
πŸ“…︎ Nov 28 2020
🚨︎ report
An atom called the cops to report he had an electron stolen. The cop asked, "Are you sure?"

And the atom replied, "I'm positive!"

πŸ‘︎ 54
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/GoodChadAndUgly
πŸ“…︎ Oct 28 2020
🚨︎ report
What was the electron charged with?

Battery.

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/sastill89
πŸ“…︎ Jul 25 2020
🚨︎ report
Neutron to electron: i think im decaying into a proton

Electron: are you sure?

Neutron: im nearly positive

Electron: ive never been so attracted to you

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ponylover9628
πŸ“…︎ Sep 16 2020
🚨︎ report
I was arrested the other day for stealing people's electrons.

I was heavily charged, despite my victims saying it was an overall positive experience.

πŸ‘︎ 9k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Radish00
πŸ“…︎ Jun 05 2019
🚨︎ report
Electrons have mass?!

I didn’t even know they were catholic!

πŸ‘︎ 80
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ May 05 2020
🚨︎ report
What did the atom say when it kept losing electrons?

I really need to keep an ion them.

πŸ‘︎ 39
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Apr 01 2020
🚨︎ report
Two electrons

Two electrons are talking to each other

The first one points to a proton and says "Do you want that charge?"

The second one points to an antiproton and says "No, discharge"

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Anti-charizard
πŸ“…︎ May 09 2020
🚨︎ report
Why were the electrons from the volcanic eruption sent to prison?

They were charged under extraordinary circumstances

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/crazyjarvis
πŸ“…︎ May 20 2020
🚨︎ report
I’m positive I just lost an electron...

Better keep an ion that.

πŸ‘︎ 25
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/RayInRed
πŸ“…︎ Feb 22 2020
🚨︎ report
Never take advice from electrons.

They are always negative.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Trtlman
πŸ“…︎ Feb 07 2020
🚨︎ report
Two electrons are walking down the street

The first one stops and says 'Oh, no! I think i've lost an electron!" The second one says 'are you sure?' The first one says 'Yeah, I'm positive'

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/oxfordthethird
πŸ“…︎ Dec 04 2019
🚨︎ report
Why did the electron leave the atom?

Because it had it’s ion someone else.

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/GotMyOrangeCrush
πŸ“…︎ Oct 29 2019
🚨︎ report
Why doesn’t the electron smile?

All he has are negative thoughts.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/NeonGreenTaxi56
πŸ“…︎ Oct 12 2019
🚨︎ report
How did the atom feel when it lost an electron?

Positive

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/vshesha
πŸ“…︎ Jun 23 2019
🚨︎ report
Two atoms walk into the bar. One atom says I think I lost an electron.

The other says... Are you positive?

πŸ‘︎ 25
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/orgullo10
πŸ“…︎ May 26 2019
🚨︎ report
So there's this atom that keeps stealing electrons...

You better keep an ion him

πŸ‘︎ 34
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/McGroon
πŸ“…︎ Sep 13 2018
🚨︎ report
An electron walks into a bar...

Bartender tells it to leave because they don’t like that kind of energy in the place.

Electron asks, β€œAre you positive?”

πŸ‘︎ 26
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/MrAnderson_369
πŸ“…︎ Jul 18 2018
🚨︎ report
Electrons are actually really good at sneaking around.

You really need to keep your ion them.

πŸ‘︎ 50
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Willdoeswarfair
πŸ“…︎ Oct 06 2017
🚨︎ report
One atom turned to another and said "I think I lost an electron!"

"Oh, no. Are you sure?" "I'm positive."

πŸ‘︎ 26
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/esoper1976
πŸ“…︎ Jan 09 2018
🚨︎ report
Sad news guys. I lost an electron...

But, I'm staying positive.

EDIT: Hope you guys can keep an ion me.

πŸ‘︎ 175
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/theshawsinator
πŸ“…︎ Jan 04 2015
🚨︎ report
The proton says to the electron,

" Why so negative bro?"

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/EvadNamNav
πŸ“…︎ Jul 22 2017
🚨︎ report
Which airline do electrons use?

KLM

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/DankOfTheEndless
πŸ“…︎ Oct 06 2017
🚨︎ report
What did the electron say to the positron?

You don’t matter.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/raev7
πŸ“…︎ Jun 19 2018
🚨︎ report
What did the electron say to his protons and neutrons that had slept in?

"Up and atom!"

πŸ‘︎ 23
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/JoeyIsUber
πŸ“…︎ Feb 05 2012
🚨︎ report
Two electrons bump into each other

One says to the other, "why didn't you just wave"?

Be honest with me, is this a good joke?

πŸ‘︎ 15
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Why_is_that
πŸ“…︎ May 24 2015
🚨︎ report
I've gone a lost my electron....

It's a shame cause I really wanted to keep an ion him.

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/dkgodspeed
πŸ“…︎ Aug 23 2017
🚨︎ report
What do you call a seal that lost an electron?

Seal-ion

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Cat_MC_KittyFace
πŸ“…︎ Mar 18 2018
🚨︎ report
The Queen knighted British electrons to spy on ordinary citizens

Truly, the Brits are living in a modern day Sir Valence state.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/zamoose
πŸ“…︎ Jul 26 2017
🚨︎ report
I was arrested the other day for stealing people's electrons.

I was heavily charged, despite my victims saying it was an overall positive experience.

πŸ‘︎ 26
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Quint_Cordewener
πŸ“…︎ Jun 22 2019
🚨︎ report
Never take advice from electrons

They are always negative.

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/LegendaryGorilla
πŸ“…︎ Apr 04 2019
🚨︎ report

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