You only live once.
But he failed, because he wasn't Goodenough.
They replaced it free of charge.
Guilty as charged!
Thanks in advance to u/entrinao for suggesting this subreddit to me :)
I’m pawsitive they are. Better keep anion them.
Dad- Because ion get it.
Son-Dad please get out of my room its 2am
For example, an executor will execute your last will, but an executIONer will execute any Will you want.
He was charged.
My 9 year old came up with that.
What's in a name?
Because they make up everything...
A seal ion.
Come on ion
I told her if I'm attractive then she's a moLUCKular lady.
A convexion oven.
Edit: This works a lot better if you spell "oven" correctly in the title...
from Li-ion batteries.
What tree do you wipe your hands on? A palm tree!
I heard a scary math joke, but I’m 2^^2 to tell it!
Have you heard of that new movie, “Constipation”? Well it doesn’t matter, it never came out.
I hurt myself when I went to a theme park in florida. When I went to the doctor, he started wrapping up my left leg, but then I pointed at my right and said “No, doc, it’s dis knee.”
Last night I got mugged by 6 dwarves. Not Happy.
When Queen Elizabeth farts, everyone in the room must pretend like nothing happened. Noble Gasses don’t cause reactions, after all.
What’s the difference between a seal and a sea lion? One electron.
What happens to nitrogen when the sun rises? It becomes Daytrogen!
I called the animal shelter today and said "I've found six kittens in a suitcase in the woods." They said "Are they moving?" I replied "I don't know, but that would explain the suitcase."
Why can’t you trust Atoms? Because they make up everything!
Why do nerds wear glasses? It helps with division.
Why should you tiptoe past the medicine cabinet? You don’t wanna wake the sleeping pills.
What twitches and is found at the bottom of the ocean? A nervous wreck!
What do you call a fat psychic? A four chin teller!
What do you call a 3 foot tall psychic on the run from the law? A small medium at large!
Help, I can’t stop reading books with female protagonists! I’m a heroine addict!
How did Sparticus react when he ate his wife for dinner? He was gladiator!
When does a joke become a dad joke? When the punchline becomes apparent!
19 and 20 got into a fight… 21.
My friend told me, “People who sell meat are disgusting!” So I said, “Yeah, well people who sell fruits and vegetables are grocer!”
How can turtles take photos of themselves? Shell-fie sticks!
What do you call a secret agent molecule? Bond… ionic bond. “Taken, not shared.” What did the dinosaur say to the other dinosaur? (Cut this part, but make a screeching noise)
How much does Santa’s sleigh cost? $0, it’s on the house.
If America switched from pounds to kilograms overnight there would be mass confusion.
I had a splinter once; it eventually got out of hand.
I’m going to go stand outside. If anyone asks, I’m outstanding.
Most people are shocked to find out how terrible an electrician I am!
What do mermaids wash their fins with? Tide What’s the coolest place to use the bathroom? The Lil Jon
Did you know that on average, people want three covers on their bed at all times? But that’s just a blanket statem... keep reading on reddit ➡
I really need to keep an ion them.
Finally, I folded.
Isn't that ionic?
Better keep an ion that.
Because it had it’s ion someone else.
Q: what did the other molecule say to the suspect molecule
A: I got my Ion on you
He suffered the reper-cuss-ions
"Up and atom!"
I've got my ion you
You better keep an ion him
Because they make up everything!
The other says... Are you positive?