What kind of dog lives in a particle accelerator?

A Fermilabrador Retriever.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Oct 30 2019
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What did one dust particle say to another?

you’re looking rather fine today

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πŸ‘€︎ u/im-wit-dimwit
πŸ“…︎ Sep 03 2019
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What’s it called when a tree finishes uploading photon particles into its system??

Photo-s-in-the-sys

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πŸ‘€︎ u/misteramuk
πŸ“…︎ Sep 08 2019
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The bartender says "Sorry, we don't serve particles that move faster than light."

A tachyon walks into a bar.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/wormfood__
πŸ“…︎ May 26 2019
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I heard some scientists were surprised when they discovered a particle that moves faster than the speed of light.

I guess they just didn’t see it coming

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πŸ‘€︎ u/daksmyth93
πŸ“…︎ Jul 31 2019
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A particle walks into a church

Priest: sorry, but you can’t be here

Particle: but without me, you couldn’t have mass

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πŸ‘€︎ u/romanator25
πŸ“…︎ Mar 03 2019
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What is SchrΓΆdinger's cat's favourite particle?

A mew-on!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/rc538
πŸ“…︎ Jan 04 2019
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Why was the particle physicist still hungry after the Italian full-course meal?

Instead of antipasto, they served antipasta.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thefizzynator
πŸ“…︎ Jan 03 2018
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What did the subatomic particle say to the duck?

"Quark, Quark."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jackknowsit
πŸ“…︎ Jun 08 2018
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What happens when two particles have a debate?

they hold an electron...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/nirvanaspirit666
πŸ“…︎ Aug 10 2017
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Never Trust Particles

They make everything up.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/EnderScout_77
πŸ“…︎ Sep 16 2016
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You hear about Donald Trump smashing sub atomic particles together with Vladimir Putin?

He's a large hadron colluder.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ooooohpippa
πŸ“…︎ May 05 2018
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Do you know what the first open-source subatomic particle is?

The GNU-trino

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πŸ‘€︎ u/necrotechnical
πŸ“…︎ May 31 2017
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How is Bill O'reilly like the Higgs Boson particle?

...Plenty of spin and regularly concerned with Mass.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/klingers
πŸ“…︎ Oct 12 2016
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I asked a librarian if she had a book about Pavlov's dog and SchrΓΆdinger's cat...

She said it rang a bell, but she wasn't sure if it was there or not.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Attinaux
πŸ“…︎ Apr 25
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Can someone recommend a good dermatologist?
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πŸ‘€︎ u/theswarthyknight
πŸ“…︎ May 28
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My calculus professor was 16 minutes late to his first class, 8 minutes late to his second, and 4 minutes late to the third.

At this rate, he will never be in class on time.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Dec 13 2018
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Solid Argument
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RCoder01
πŸ“…︎ Nov 28 2018
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Every molecule in my body came to a complete stop earlier.

I'm feeling 0K though.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/koenn
πŸ“…︎ Jul 23 2018
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Daughter was doing science homework. ..

Me: "What is a cow's favorite elementary particle?"
Her: "..."
Me: "A Muon"
Her: "Get out."

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πŸ“…︎ Dec 04 2016
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For any chemistry dads out there

So there's a bunch of small charged particles and they work at a factory. They work hard but the boss is really tough. So they start coming together and grouping up demanding better conditions. They realized the best way to be taken seriously was by being unionized

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πŸ‘€︎ u/32543
πŸ“…︎ Sep 28 2017
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Are Board Games also called Board Games because we play them when we are bored?

I realize they are in fact made of particle board.

But really. They should be made of cardboard because we play cards on them.

Haha

Ok lame joke. I'll stop drinking coffee now.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/stargirl111
πŸ“…︎ Dec 01 2016
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My favourite science pun ever!

Particle physics gives me a Hadron.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/OwenFlynn
πŸ“…︎ Jun 27 2012
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What are Care Bear Stares made of?

Hugs Boson Particles.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/metal5050
πŸ“…︎ Jan 11 2016
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Dadjoked by my female fiance

Me: So I read part of this article today abou...

Her: I believe that's called a particle?

*cue groans from her brother and I

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πŸ‘€︎ u/dalbtraps
πŸ“…︎ Feb 27 2014
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Dadjoked by lecturer

Talking about particle detectors he asked the audience what gases were used in them. No-one has a clue.

"So... I guess that's hard to gas"

I was the only one laughing.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/sup3r_hero
πŸ“…︎ Mar 21 2015
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Good Morning dadjoke

My dad used to wake me up by standing beside my bed and repeatedly saying, "Up and atom (at 'em). Up and proton. Up and electron. Up and molecule." Now he still does it when I'm home from college, and as I get harder to rouse, more subatomic particles.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/AirAdmiral
πŸ“…︎ Jan 17 2014
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Husband's first dad joke as a new dad.

Context: Our 3 month old son had some cotton/fuzz/lint stuck between his fingers from a newer pair of pajamas. I was trying to keep his hands out of his mouth because I didn't want him eating the cloth particles.

Husband came out with this: Leave him alone LDJD. He has to get his fiber. Get it, fiber?

groans

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ldjd
πŸ“…︎ Feb 28 2014
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My Physical Chemistry professor dadjoked the entire class today.

So he's lecturing about the Schrodinger equations and rotational motion of particles, and how it could be easier to find a solution to the equation if the spherical coordinate system was used. He explains how the system works, and then says while clicking to the next powerpoint slide:

"Let's look at a real world example."

Cue a picture of a satellite image of Earth on the next slide and groans from all of the class.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/hitmonleeroy
πŸ“…︎ Sep 02 2014
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Chemistry father joke

A particle of helium walks into a lobby of a hotel. The staff asks it: 'Sir, how can we help you' It didn't react.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/konpopoz
πŸ“…︎ Oct 21 2013
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