A Fermilabrador Retriever.
you’re looking rather fine today
A tachyon walks into a bar.
I guess they just didn’t see it coming
Priest: sorry, but you can’t be here
Particle: but without me, you couldn’t have mass
Instead of antipasto, they served antipasta.
they hold an electron...
He's a large hadron colluder.
...Plenty of spin and regularly concerned with Mass.
She said it rang a bell, but she wasn't sure if it was there or not.
At this rate, he will never be in class on time.
I'm feeling 0K though.
Me: "What is a cow's favorite elementary particle?"
Me: "A Muon"
Her: "Get out."
So there's a bunch of small charged particles and they work at a factory. They work hard but the boss is really tough. So they start coming together and grouping up demanding better conditions. They realized the best way to be taken seriously was by being unionized
I realize they are in fact made of particle board.
But really. They should be made of cardboard because we play cards on them.
Ok lame joke. I'll stop drinking coffee now.
Particle physics gives me a Hadron.
Hugs Boson Particles.
Me: So I read part of this article today abou...
Her: I believe that's called a particle?
*cue groans from her brother and I
Talking about particle detectors he asked the audience what gases were used in them. No-one has a clue.
"So... I guess that's hard to gas"
I was the only one laughing.
My dad used to wake me up by standing beside my bed and repeatedly saying, "Up and atom (at 'em). Up and proton. Up and electron. Up and molecule." Now he still does it when I'm home from college, and as I get harder to rouse, more subatomic particles.
Context: Our 3 month old son had some cotton/fuzz/lint stuck between his fingers from a newer pair of pajamas. I was trying to keep his hands out of his mouth because I didn't want him eating the cloth particles.
Husband came out with this: Leave him alone LDJD. He has to get his fiber. Get it, fiber?
So he's lecturing about the Schrodinger equations and rotational motion of particles, and how it could be easier to find a solution to the equation if the spherical coordinate system was used. He explains how the system works, and then says while clicking to the next powerpoint slide:
"Let's look at a real world example."
Cue a picture of a satellite image of Earth on the next slide and groans from all of the class.