So proud of my daughter for this one... "Why do fishes swim in salt water?"

Because pepper would make them sneeze!

She's six. She's awesome.

EDIT: Woo highest rated post, thanks to my kid. Also, I never said she wrote it! She just told it to me. So there.

πŸ‘︎ 16k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/evanphi
πŸ“…︎ Jun 03
🚨︎ report
WARNING: There is an email going around offering processed pork, Gelatin and salt in a can. If you get this email DO NOT OPEN

It’s spam

πŸ‘︎ 166
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jul 23
🚨︎ report
Why do sharks swim in salt water?

Because they would sneeze in pepper water!

πŸ‘︎ 23
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/sleepypanda59
πŸ“…︎ Aug 08
🚨︎ report
I was supposed to go to a salt n pepa concert next week

Unfortunately, due to the coronavirus they had to push it

πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/GuyM3
πŸ“…︎ Jul 27
🚨︎ report
Hey son, today I told your science teacher a joke about salt, and she said...

"That's sodium funny!"

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Myusernameisfish
πŸ“…︎ Jul 24
🚨︎ report
How did salt’s friend survive the apocalypse

He was a doomsday pepper

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Cadlinkr
πŸ“…︎ Jul 05
🚨︎ report
salt
πŸ‘︎ 19
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/sadqwer123
πŸ“…︎ Jun 14
🚨︎ report
A Salt Rifle
πŸ‘︎ 838
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/hungrylemonhaha
πŸ“…︎ Feb 01
🚨︎ report
What type of salt has the best vision?

Sea salt.

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/vodka_twinkie
πŸ“…︎ May 25
🚨︎ report
How many grains of salt are in a salt shaker.

A Lot

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/astronaut12
πŸ“…︎ Apr 13
🚨︎ report
Damn this pink salt is looking real good today.
πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/patchoulius
πŸ“…︎ Mar 10
🚨︎ report
Salt
πŸ‘︎ 15
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/sunnyyixuanchen
πŸ“…︎ Jan 15
🚨︎ report
Salt

So i wanted to tell a joke about Salt but i was like Na

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Andrija6897
πŸ“…︎ Apr 06
🚨︎ report
A salt sheikher
πŸ‘︎ 21
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/it_d0esnt_ma7ter
πŸ“…︎ Dec 29 2019
🚨︎ report
If you get an email about pork salt and fat, don't open it.

Its Spam.

πŸ‘︎ 18
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/JTHinton
πŸ“…︎ Feb 04
🚨︎ report
Nearly got knocked off of my bike by a council salt lorry.

You idiot, I shouted. Through gritted teeth.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/theGamingDad123
πŸ“…︎ Mar 03
🚨︎ report
What do you call bacon with salt on it?

Salt and Peppa

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/realsuperguy199
πŸ“…︎ Jan 05
🚨︎ report
My wife made gluten free, carb free, salt free spaghetti last night

It was not real food, it was an impasta.

πŸ‘︎ 45
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thetwitchy1
πŸ“…︎ Jan 14
🚨︎ report
Why do sharks swim in salt water?

If they swam in pepper water they would sneeze.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/lvrcerosis
πŸ“…︎ Feb 05
🚨︎ report
What’s the opposite of Himalayan salt?

Herastandin pepper.

Courtesy of my very own father

πŸ‘︎ 253
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Terry-Fold
πŸ“…︎ Aug 11 2019
🚨︎ report
A salt rifle.
πŸ‘︎ 61
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Kys_Bi_Bi
πŸ“…︎ Jun 17 2019
🚨︎ report
A-Salt Fork
πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/GreedTheUndead_
πŸ“…︎ Oct 21 2019
🚨︎ report
A Salt Rifle
πŸ‘︎ 33
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/eternalyeti
πŸ“…︎ Sep 10 2019
🚨︎ report
Salt daddy
πŸ‘︎ 227
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Kronos-11
πŸ“…︎ Apr 27 2019
🚨︎ report
Salt
πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/neongreenorca
πŸ“…︎ Sep 13 2019
🚨︎ report
[Satire] A Salt Rifle
πŸ‘︎ 328
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Wheatley67
πŸ“…︎ Jan 20 2019
🚨︎ report
My wife misplace the sugar with the salt in her sugar cookies.

It was sodium disgusting.

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/kingbankai
πŸ“…︎ Oct 09 2019
🚨︎ report
What happened to the criminal magician who ate to much salt?

Cardiac arrest

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/chtili
πŸ“…︎ Aug 25 2019
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the sea captain who made a special salt-proof boat for the salty waters of the ocean?

It was a sailing solution to cross a saline solution

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TheCovarr
πŸ“…︎ Oct 29 2019
🚨︎ report
When you mix a salt and water, you get a solution. When you mix a salt and battery, you get...

Arrested

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/NovAlphaPapa
πŸ“…︎ Oct 30 2019
🚨︎ report
Why do fish live in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze.

πŸ‘︎ 20
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/WilloFortune__
πŸ“…︎ Sep 07 2019
🚨︎ report
How do you get salt?

You go to a naclback concert.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ronniethelizard
πŸ“…︎ Oct 19 2019
🚨︎ report
My teacher threw sodium chloride at me, it was a-salt.
πŸ‘︎ 25
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Xxxhotsauceion
πŸ“…︎ Feb 22 2019
🚨︎ report
What did the salt say after it was pepper-sprayed?

That's nothing to sneeze at.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ajjanialthor
πŸ“…︎ Oct 02 2019
🚨︎ report
Why do fish live in salt water?

Because if they lived in pepper water, they would sneeze.

πŸ‘︎ 8k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Maxterchief99
πŸ“…︎ Aug 03 2017
🚨︎ report
I eat a lot of salt, but the WHO suggests consuming 2,000 mg of sodium daily.

I don't know what a band knows about health, but I take it with a grain of salt.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/berriobvious
πŸ“…︎ Sep 09 2019
🚨︎ report
Is tea with additional salt

Salt-tea?

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/CubingWithAlex
πŸ“…︎ Sep 18 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call a rifle that shoots salt

A salt rifle

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Mohd301
πŸ“…︎ Jul 18 2019
🚨︎ report
I’d like to tell a joke about salt...

Na.

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/rogan2929
πŸ“…︎ Apr 12 2019
🚨︎ report
My friend: *Throws salt at me*

Me: Don’t assault me!

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Awklop1
πŸ“…︎ Aug 11 2019
🚨︎ report
What does a salt shaker bring to a bar fight?

A NaCl duster.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Benja-C
πŸ“…︎ Apr 19 2019
🚨︎ report
Why does salt make everything taste better

Because it's sodi-yummm!

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/fuzznugget20
πŸ“…︎ Feb 25 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you get when you fling salt in a tavern?

A barnacle (a.k.a. bar-na-cl)

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/MysteryOrange7
πŸ“…︎ Jul 10 2019
🚨︎ report
It’s a salt rifle.
πŸ‘︎ 452
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/BigWaveSmallOcean
πŸ“…︎ Mar 14 2018
🚨︎ report
What did the salt say when the phosphate asked to bond with it?

NaCl ater

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/soulfooood
πŸ“…︎ May 23 2019
🚨︎ report
A salt
πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Leaf_Leavezz
πŸ“…︎ Sep 19 2018
🚨︎ report
What do you call it when you hit someone with a salt shaker?

A salt

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Kirito_Beleren
πŸ“…︎ Mar 02 2019
🚨︎ report
My son went to Salt Lake City today.
πŸ‘︎ 75
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/mag79s
πŸ“…︎ Aug 22 2018
🚨︎ report
It’s a salt rifle.
πŸ‘︎ 175
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/FunnyBlobby
πŸ“…︎ Mar 11 2018
🚨︎ report
A salt rifle
πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/HiImJulio123
πŸ“…︎ Jan 14 2019
🚨︎ report
What kind of fish is only made of salt.

A tu-na.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Feb 22 2019
🚨︎ report
What happens when you add too much of salt in tea?

What happens when you add too much of salt in tea?

It becomes salt_tea

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Ringless_Gyges
πŸ“…︎ Jun 12 2019
🚨︎ report
Why do walruses swim in salt water?

Because if they swam in peppered water they’d sneeze all the time.

πŸ‘︎ 36
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Juggernautx22
πŸ“…︎ Mar 02 2019
🚨︎ report
A salt rifle
πŸ‘︎ 42
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/IShadow1526
πŸ“…︎ Oct 06 2018
🚨︎ report
Why does everyone apply salt to their meals?

It’s sodium good

πŸ‘︎ 35
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/MasterDoot
πŸ“…︎ Sep 24 2018
🚨︎ report
How do you catch salt and pepper shaker thieves?

With a shakedown from seasoned officers.

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/IAmHumanSoAMA
πŸ“…︎ Dec 12 2018
🚨︎ report
If your doctor tells you to go on a low sodium diet, do you take his advise with a grain of salt?
πŸ‘︎ 20
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Twigsnapper
πŸ“…︎ Mar 05 2019
🚨︎ report
When I was in basic training we couldn't have salt or pepper.

Those were reserved for the seasoned veterans.

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/wmyspr
πŸ“…︎ Mar 23 2019
🚨︎ report
Why do sharks live in salt water

Because pepper water makes then sneeze

πŸ‘︎ 85
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/PrincessKitty4
πŸ“…︎ Jul 12 2018
🚨︎ report
I there was tea that was made of salt

It would probably be salt-tea

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/SamaNyaTa1004
πŸ“…︎ Mar 23 2019
🚨︎ report
Why does pouring salt in a wound hurt?

Because it hurts sodium much.

πŸ‘︎ 21
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/OnePunchFan8
πŸ“…︎ Oct 16 2018
🚨︎ report
Salt shakers
πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/skg07
πŸ“…︎ Nov 09 2018
🚨︎ report
There's an email going around offering free processed pork gelatin and salt in a can, if you get this email, do not open it!

It's spam.

πŸ‘︎ 27
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/green_tito
πŸ“…︎ Sep 27 2018
🚨︎ report
β€ͺWhat did the paprika tell the salt around Christmas?‬

Seasonings greetings

πŸ‘︎ 17
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Sanjiroku
πŸ“…︎ Dec 16 2018
🚨︎ report
Did you know that if you poured salt on a cat's tail it will fall off?

It's true! And if you pour pepper on a cat's tail, the pepper will also fall off.

(I made that joke up when I was 10 and had to wait another 25 years to become a dad to tell it.)

πŸ‘︎ 648
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/BrakemanBob
πŸ“…︎ Jun 23 2016
🚨︎ report
Where do salt lovers go to pray? [OC]

The taberNaCl.

(I would apologize, but this is /dadjokes)

(X-posted to jokes.)

πŸ‘︎ 652
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Qdiggles
πŸ“…︎ Aug 15 2015
🚨︎ report
My uncle has been working in a salt mine for years, you could say that he is a seasoned veteran now.
πŸ‘︎ 82
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jan 18 2018
🚨︎ report
I tried cleaning the house, ended up with a bunch of salt water damage.

Thats the last time I use Tide

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/robertdowneysoft
πŸ“…︎ Aug 02 2018
🚨︎ report
Did you read that article about humans running out of salt?

It was pretty distasteful

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/mikekara
πŸ“…︎ Nov 21 2018
🚨︎ report
Did you know that if you pour salt on an alligator's tail, it will fall off?

Yeah, pepper falls off too.

πŸ‘︎ 131
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Oct 31 2017
🚨︎ report
A-salt rifle
πŸ‘︎ 21
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Liamkw2003
πŸ“…︎ Mar 18 2018
🚨︎ report
You should always take restaurant suggestions with at least a grain of salt, just in case they don't turn out.

Makes it taste better either way!

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/julianfri
πŸ“…︎ Jul 16 2018
🚨︎ report
Used a fabric softener bottle to spread rock salt on the driveway, had to label it properly
πŸ‘︎ 87
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Feb 18 2015
🚨︎ report
Salt can vault!?
πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Sheeepie2
πŸ“…︎ Feb 26 2018
🚨︎ report
Salt Lake City is concerned that too many teens are rebelling by going "Goth"

Mormon Emo Problems

πŸ‘︎ 15
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/The_Possum
πŸ“…︎ Apr 11 2017
🚨︎ report
A man was driving a salt truck over an icy road...

when he realized he ran out of salt. He called up HQ and said " We need one Morton."

πŸ‘︎ 31
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/siddis76
πŸ“…︎ Mar 03 2016
🚨︎ report
My friend and I argued whether or not you can make tea out with salt

They insisted I was being dumb but, I think they were just being salt-tea.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Crimsonate-F3
πŸ“…︎ Sep 02 2018
🚨︎ report
"Dad, can you pass the salt?"

"Dad, can you pass the salt?"

"Surely." points at the salt shaker approvingly "You get a B+."

"Dad."

(This happened at least once a week)

πŸ‘︎ 85
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/UBT400
πŸ“…︎ Jul 20 2016
🚨︎ report
I love telling jokes about salt.

They're sodium funny!

πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ May 23 2017
🚨︎ report
My friend accidentally got salt in his papercut.

Talk about adding insalt to injury.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Domthehuman1
πŸ“…︎ Jun 23 2018
🚨︎ report
A salt and battery with a deadly weapon gfycat.com/ChillyFlatAlas…
πŸ‘︎ 56
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/IAMA_dragon-AMA
πŸ“…︎ Jun 06 2015
🚨︎ report
Why do sharks swim in salt water?

Because pepper water makes them sneeze.

πŸ‘︎ 23
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/awesomeme27
πŸ“…︎ Jul 27 2017
🚨︎ report
What do you call salt on the floor of a French prison?

Fleur de sel.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/jon1nelsen
πŸ“…︎ Apr 03 2018
🚨︎ report
Why do people like to salt their food?

Because it's sodium good.

πŸ‘︎ 116
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/FreddyMcCurry
πŸ“…︎ Nov 24 2016
🚨︎ report
So a salt shaker and a battery walk into a...
πŸ‘︎ 29
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Dec 24 2016
🚨︎ report
Hey son, ya know why we put salt on the rim of our margaritas?

To keep in the spirits!

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/PokefanCyrus
πŸ“…︎ May 14 2018
🚨︎ report
Breaking news: guy at the salt mine rushed to hospital for knee injury

Turns out he tore N aCl

πŸ‘︎ 17
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Ganders81
πŸ“…︎ Dec 03 2017
🚨︎ report
The salt and pepper have found religion!

They're in the shakers.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/desireewhitehall
πŸ“…︎ Apr 01 2018
🚨︎ report
What does a salt shaker bring to a bar fight?

A NaCl duster

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Benja-C
πŸ“…︎ Apr 19 2019
🚨︎ report
Why do fish live in salt water?

Because pepper water makes them sneeze

πŸ‘︎ 48
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/optionalsilence
πŸ“…︎ Jul 27 2017
🚨︎ report

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