Why do seals swim in salt water ?

Because, pepper water makes them sneeze.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Jan 05
🚨︎ report
What’s the difference between a molecule of table salt and the late Sean Connery?

One has an ionic bond. The other was the iconic Bond.

πŸ‘︎ 51
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rossum81
πŸ“…︎ Jan 08
🚨︎ report
My therapist said the best treatment for depression is to vigorously rub salt into my skin, to draw out excess moisture....

WOW....I'm cured.

πŸ‘︎ 115
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Nov 28 2020
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A salt rifle.
πŸ‘︎ 152
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πŸ‘€︎ u/alamkh
πŸ“…︎ Nov 01 2020
🚨︎ report
Who does Mr. Salt go to when he has back pain?

Dr. Pepper.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/GoodEveningItsAsa
πŸ“…︎ Dec 25 2020
🚨︎ report
Salt Bridges
πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/blackfrancis75
πŸ“…︎ Nov 15 2020
🚨︎ report
So proud of my daughter for this one... "Why do fishes swim in salt water?"

Because pepper would make them sneeze!

She's six. She's awesome.

EDIT: Woo highest rated post, thanks to my kid. Also, I never said she wrote it! She just told it to me. So there.

πŸ‘︎ 16k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/evanphi
πŸ“…︎ Jun 03 2020
🚨︎ report
A salt with a deadly weapon!
πŸ‘︎ 59
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πŸ‘€︎ u/raffar
πŸ“…︎ Oct 20 2020
🚨︎ report
It's a salt
πŸ‘︎ 70
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πŸ‘€︎ u/asdfghjkl-__-
πŸ“…︎ Sep 15 2020
🚨︎ report
A salt rifle
πŸ‘︎ 32
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πŸ‘€︎ u/aayush_aryan
πŸ“…︎ Sep 19 2020
🚨︎ report
Lawyer - Is it crime to throw salt in someone's eyes?

Judge - Yes, that's assault!

Lawyer - I know it's a salt but is it a crime?

πŸ‘︎ 32
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πŸ‘€︎ u/viky_boy
πŸ“…︎ Sep 25 2020
🚨︎ report
Son: There's no salt on this. Mom: Well, it's hard to see salt.

Dad: But can you table salt?

Mom: I don't know, let's discuss that next time.

Edit: To be honest I'm a little salty about the bland reaction this dad/mom joke got :)

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/likeabutterdream
πŸ“…︎ Oct 25 2020
🚨︎ report
What did the angry salt say to the rest of the spices?

Don't pinch me.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/GetItGotItProfIt
πŸ“…︎ Oct 29 2020
🚨︎ report
WARNING: There is an email going around offering processed pork, Gelatin and salt in a can. If you get this email DO NOT OPEN

It’s spam

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πŸ“…︎ Jul 23 2020
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Wife: We are out of salt.

Me: 0mg

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πŸ‘€︎ u/11TigOlBiddies11
πŸ“…︎ Sep 09 2020
🚨︎ report
I was supposed to go to a salt an pepa concert last week

Unfortunately, due to lockdown, they had to push it

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/GuyM3
πŸ“…︎ Sep 04 2020
🚨︎ report
I work in a kitchen and my colleague threw a satchet of salt at me and said

You’ve just been a-salted

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Cordite96
πŸ“…︎ Sep 23 2020
🚨︎ report
I was supposed to go to a salt n pepa concert next week

Unfortunately, due to the coronavirus they had to push it

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/GuyM3
πŸ“…︎ Jul 27 2020
🚨︎ report
Why do sharks swim in salt water?

Because pepper water makes them sneeze

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ardensulled
πŸ“…︎ Sep 10 2020
🚨︎ report
Son, take the bible with a grain of salt...

... hence, don't take it as gospel.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheWhiskyBear
πŸ“…︎ Sep 25 2020
🚨︎ report
Why do sharks swim in salt water?

Because they would sneeze in pepper water!

πŸ‘︎ 25
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sleepypanda59
πŸ“…︎ Aug 08 2020
🚨︎ report
A Salt Rifle
πŸ‘︎ 833
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πŸ‘€︎ u/hungrylemonhaha
πŸ“…︎ Feb 01 2020
🚨︎ report
Next time you see a packet of salt at a restaurant, throw it at your friend.

Then say, β€œThat’s a salt!”

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Texgymratdad
πŸ“…︎ Sep 02 2020
🚨︎ report
I lived in Salt Lake Utah

That makes me a SLUT resident

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Slymood
πŸ“…︎ Aug 27 2020
🚨︎ report
salt
πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sadqwer123
πŸ“…︎ Jun 14 2020
🚨︎ report
How did salt’s friend survive the apocalypse

He was a doomsday pepper

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Cadlinkr
πŸ“…︎ Jul 05 2020
🚨︎ report
Hey son, today I told your science teacher a joke about salt, and she said...

"That's sodium funny!"

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Myusernameisfish
πŸ“…︎ Jul 24 2020
🚨︎ report
What type of salt has the best vision?

Sea salt.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/vodka_twinkie
πŸ“…︎ May 25 2020
🚨︎ report
How many grains of salt are in a salt shaker.

A Lot

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/astronaut12
πŸ“…︎ Apr 13 2020
🚨︎ report
Salt
πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sunnyyixuanchen
πŸ“…︎ Jan 15 2020
🚨︎ report
Damn this pink salt is looking real good today.
πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/patchoulius
πŸ“…︎ Mar 10 2020
🚨︎ report
A salt sheikher
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πŸ‘€︎ u/it_d0esnt_ma7ter
πŸ“…︎ Dec 29 2019
🚨︎ report
Salt

So i wanted to tell a joke about Salt but i was like Na

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Andrija6897
πŸ“…︎ Apr 06 2020
🚨︎ report
If you get an email about pork salt and fat, don't open it.

Its Spam.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/JTHinton
πŸ“…︎ Feb 04 2020
🚨︎ report
What’s the opposite of Himalayan salt?

Herastandin pepper.

Courtesy of my very own father

πŸ‘︎ 254
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Terry-Fold
πŸ“…︎ Aug 11 2019
🚨︎ report
A salt rifle.
πŸ‘︎ 60
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Kys_Bi_Bi
πŸ“…︎ Jun 17 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call bacon with salt on it?

Salt and Peppa

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/realsuperguy199
πŸ“…︎ Jan 05 2020
🚨︎ report
Nearly got knocked off of my bike by a council salt lorry.

You idiot, I shouted. Through gritted teeth.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/theGamingDad123
πŸ“…︎ Mar 03 2020
🚨︎ report
My wife made gluten free, carb free, salt free spaghetti last night

It was not real food, it was an impasta.

πŸ‘︎ 46
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thetwitchy1
πŸ“…︎ Jan 14 2020
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Salt daddy
πŸ‘︎ 224
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Kronos-11
πŸ“…︎ Apr 27 2019
🚨︎ report
Why do sharks swim in salt water?

If they swam in pepper water they would sneeze.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/lvrcerosis
πŸ“…︎ Feb 05 2020
🚨︎ report
A Salt Rifle
πŸ‘︎ 38
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πŸ‘€︎ u/eternalyeti
πŸ“…︎ Sep 10 2019
🚨︎ report
A-Salt Fork
πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/GreedTheUndead_
πŸ“…︎ Oct 21 2019
🚨︎ report
[Satire] A Salt Rifle
πŸ‘︎ 330
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Wheatley67
πŸ“…︎ Jan 20 2019
🚨︎ report

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