Why do fish live in salt water?
Because pepper water would make them sneeze.
If you have the soldiers named Salt and Pepper in your squad then consider yourself lucky.
They're seasoned veterans
True story: As kids, my sister and I were fighting over the TV remote and it got heated. The remote flew across the room and a couple AAA batteries fell out. My sister threw one at me, and I grabbed a nearby salt shaker and threw it at her.
My mother, who was watching this go down, just laughs and says, "Assault and battery!"
She then left the room, cackling.
I heard a salt joke the other day.
What’s the difference between a molecule of table salt and the late Sean Connery?
One has an ionic bond. The other was the iconic Bond.
My therapist said the best treatment for depression is to vigorously rub salt into my skin, to draw out excess moisture....
So proud of my daughter for this one... "Why do fishes swim in salt water?"
Because pepper would make them sneeze!
She's six. She's awesome.
EDIT: Woo highest rated post, thanks to my kid. Also, I never said she wrote it! She just told it to me. So there.
Who does Mr. Salt go to when he has back pain?
A salt with a deadly weapon!
WARNING: There is an email going around offering processed pork, Gelatin and salt in a can. If you get this email DO NOT OPEN
Lawyer - Is it crime to throw salt in someone's eyes?
Judge - Yes, that's assault!
Lawyer - I know it's a salt but is it a crime?
Son: There's no salt on this. Mom: Well, it's hard to see salt.
Dad: But can you table salt?
Mom: I don't know, let's discuss that next time.
Edit: To be honest I'm a little salty about the bland reaction this dad/mom joke got :)
What did the angry salt say to the rest of the spices?
I was supposed to go to a salt an pepa concert last week
Unfortunately, due to lockdown, they had to push it
Wife: We are out of salt.
I work in a kitchen and my colleague threw a satchet of salt at me and said
You’ve just been a-salted
Son, take the bible with a grain of salt...
... hence, don't take it as gospel.
Next time you see a packet of salt at a restaurant, throw it at your friend.
Then say, “That’s a salt!”
I lived in Salt Lake Utah
That makes me a SLUT resident
How did salt’s friend survive the apocalypse
Hey son, today I told your science teacher a joke about salt, and she said...
How many grains of salt are in a salt shaker.
What type of salt has the best vision?
Damn this pink salt is looking real good today.
Salt
So i wanted to tell a joke about Salt but i was like Na
What’s the opposite of Himalayan salt?
Herastandin pepper.
Courtesy of my very own father
What do you call bacon with salt on it?
My wife made gluten free, carb free, salt free spaghetti last night
It was not real food, it was an impasta.
Why do seals swim in salt water ?
Because, pepper water makes them sneeze.
Why do fish live in salt water?
Because pepper water makes them sneeze!
I was supposed to go to a salt n pepa concert next week
Unfortunately, due to the coronavirus they had to push it
Why do sharks swim in salt water?
Because they would sneeze in pepper water!
Why do sharks swim in salt water?
Because pepper water makes them sneeze
If you get an email about pork salt and fat, don't open it.
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