A very exciting pun
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/beta-pi
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 24 2020
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Started an OnlyFans account. Pretty excited for my early retirement
πŸ‘οΈŽ 793
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Illustriouspancakes
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 28 2021
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I get so excited for spring...

I wet my plants

πŸ‘οΈŽ 59
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Paleran
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 12 2021
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How do you get your child excited to go to church?

Tell them they are going to the prayground

πŸ‘οΈŽ 7
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/tygerhavvk
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 02 2021
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Everyone was excited at the Autopsy club.

It was open Mike night.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 114
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Anytime200
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 16 2021
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We just bought our new dream house and as I was showing our daughter around for the first time, she asked excitedly, "What's upstairs!?" I chuckled and replied, "Awwwww sweetie...."

"Stairs don't talk!"

πŸ‘οΈŽ 19k
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 01 2020
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What does the mother brush say to her overly excited kids ?

Comb down

πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/YeetMyPeePee
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 05 2021
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I was excited to get a large can of fine meat from Amazon.

But it turned out to be spam.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 4
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/kdlaz
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 18 2021
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My daughter got out of choir practice. She was talking about who her favorite conductors were, and was really excited about her favorite ones, because she said they were very good conductors.

Did they stick their fingers in an electrical socket?

"No... Why..?"

Well, then, how do you know if they were good conductors or not?

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/der_innkeeper
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 23 2021
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Does a train have teeth?

Then how can it choo choo?

Complements of my 6 year old.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 6k
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/mikehawk86
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 02 2021
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Everyone's excited that 2020 is ending...

...but forget that the year after 2021 is 2020 too

πŸ‘οΈŽ 36
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/ZackAshM
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 28 2020
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Why was the groom excited to take over his new brides cylindrical wooden rod factory

Because it was her dowelry.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 2
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/explosivelydehiscent
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 18 2021
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I have been making pencil sketches of my family and it's not exciting at all

Back to the drawing, bored

πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/I_Only_Have_One_Hand
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 01 2021
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I told my husband I was excited to see who's nose our baby has on the ultrasound, his reply...

he can't have my nose, I need it!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/FTM-Oct2020
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 16 2021
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I’m excited it see Pun: The Musical

It’s a play on words

πŸ‘οΈŽ 9
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/bobby_vance
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 31 2020
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You always have to keep your job exciting.

Being a well driller, I often dream I could drill right to the center of the earth.

If I didn't have such a great imagination my job would be just boring.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 7
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/leyline
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 14 2020
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I’m excited for Jan 1, 2021

Then I can finally say that hindsight is 2020.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 17
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/tkseizetheday
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 22 2020
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Frankenstein was excited

It was his first 'body-building' competition.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/sne4a
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 28 2020
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Apparently Orion wasn't too excited about his new belt.

He only gave it 3 stars.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 25
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/klwill1192
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 24 2020
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People who wear glasses must be excited for next year.

It's the first time they'll see 2020.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 8k
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/nikkobe
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 19 2019
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My wife said she wanted to take me out. I was so excited...

Until I saw the body bag.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/sarcasticpremed
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 03 2020
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Just what is it about all the Psychics that I visit, they're either totally depressed or too excitable..

..it's really hard to find the happy Medium.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 37
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/HugoZHackenbush2
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 24 2020
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Vincent

So my brothers name is Vincent, 18 years now, and a few years ago he came up to me very excited and said: β€žMy name is Vincent, but you can call me β€šVinβ€˜ so you save a centβ€œ

πŸ‘οΈŽ 8
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/marvinmadafaka
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 12 2021
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Got a new tattoo

My wife was complaining about how i'm not spontanious or creative, unless it involves terrible jokes, so i went out and got a tattoo (my first one). But since im not very creative i had them tattoo a pic of my thermos from work. I went home all excited and showed her my new tattoo! She was really confused about it. She looked at it for awhile and when she went to touch it i yelled at her not to touch the thermos tat. I think she's leaving me now :(

πŸ‘οΈŽ 18k
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/bosozokulove
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 09 2020
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I have an exciting new job as an explosives engineer blowing up mountains for tunnels and roads.

It's Groundbreaking work.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 6
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/A_Zenchi
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 23 2020
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My wife was very excited to finally introduce our kids to her sister...

It was Auntie Climactic.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Kinjesus
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 01 2020
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I was really excited when my wife bought me a book for my birthday called β€œ69 Mating Positions”.

Turns out it’s about Chess strategies.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 17
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 30 2020
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I know an archaeologist who found a human leg bone during an excavation. The other archaeologists got excited and went over to help him.

Turned out to be quite the shin dig.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 46
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/tenglempls
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 25 2020
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I don’t know why, but there’s something exciting about evaluating women’s armpits...

Its just really axilla rating.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 8
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/CubanZirconium
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 27 2020
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I’m so excited! Scientists have tested cloning on humans.

Im beside myself

πŸ‘οΈŽ 95
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/TheSketchiest
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 26 2020
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My date was really excited when I invited her over for cocktails, but she left extremely disappointed.

She didn’t want to hear stories about my rooster.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 42
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 26 2020
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As a lepidopterist I find my job so exciting

it really gives me butterflies

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/spankyham
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 26 2020
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So there was this zookeeper...

(This probably makes more sense if you're British.)

Doing his rounds one day and when he got to the bird enclosure he noticed a load of the birds had died. Unsure as to what he should do with the bodies he tossed them into the big cat exhibit.

The next day he was cleaning out the primates and noticed the lifeless figure of an ape laying on the floor... not wanting to perform a proper burial and besides- he wasn't earning much more than minimum wage anyway so he tossed it into the big cat enclosure.

On his third day the zookeeper came across his colleague who kept bees, it seems they'd got sick and a lot of the hive had perished. Not to worry, the zookeeper scooped them onto a shovel and tossed them into the big cat exhibit. It's the circle of life he thought to himself.

The next day there was a lot of excitement in the zoo. A new lioness had arrived. The lioness stalked out of the trailer...sniffed at the unfamiliar lion next to her...

"So, what's the food like in this place then?" She asked awkwardly.

"It's actually not that bad" replied the lion. "Over the past few days we've had Finch, chimps and mushy bees"

Badum tssss! Β―_(ツ)_/Β―

Yeah, for any non brits that read all that: Fish, chips and mushy peas is a classic English dish. So...yeah...that's the joke.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 6
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/FananaBartman
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 04 2021
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I got an antique dosimeter from USSR and I was pretty excited.

Then I noticed it only measures comrads.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 10
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/GentleMonsta
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 05 2020
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I came home with a salamander on my shoulder and my son, all excited, shouted, "What's his name!?” Smiling, I replied, β€œTiny!" My kid laughed and asked, β€œWhat an odd name, why do you call him Tiny?”

I explained, β€œBecause...he’s my newt!"

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 04 2020
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I’m so excited it’s spring time

I just wet my plants.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 7
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Youtile
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 31 2021
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My wife was so excited when Spring came,

that she wet her plants.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 23
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/coot32
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 20 2021
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Why were the group of coroners excited?

Because it was open Mike night!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 10
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/boop66
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 17 2021
🚨︎ report
Everyone was excited at the Autopsy Club.

It was open Mike night!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 192
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/BastetLXIX
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 01 2020
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I was excited to join the Autopsy Club

Wednesday’s are Open Mike Night.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 136
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Formaldefortress
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 03 2020
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Everyone was excited to be at our autopsy club this evening.

It was open Mike night.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 348
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/JoeFas
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 25 2020
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So excited for autopsy club!

It's open mike night!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 177
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Degtyrev
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 22 2020
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I was so excited that 2020 is almost over.

Then I realized after 2021 is 2020 too.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 19
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/sarcasticpremed
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 11 2020
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Everyone was excited at the Autopsy Club

it was open Mike night

πŸ‘οΈŽ 22
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/velvettriangles
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 02 2020
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Everyone was excited at the Autopsy Club...

It was open Mike night.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 03 2020
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What did the overly excited Gardner do when spring finally came?

He wet his plants!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 6
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Jaden-YoungBlood
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 25 2020
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Everyone was excited about the Autopsy Club meeting...

It was open Mike night.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 19
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/PrivateTumbleweed
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 19 2020
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