I get a thrill from taking kitchen utensils

I'm a whisk taker

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πŸ‘€︎ u/shamudawhale51
πŸ“…︎ May 30
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What do you call a thrill ride that goes from the North Pole to the South Pole?

A polar coaster!

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/pae913
πŸ“…︎ Oct 06 2019
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the thrill of the chase
πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RedditVisitor69
πŸ“…︎ Sep 04 2018
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Did you hear about the singer of Cheap Thrills and Chandelier getting hit by a train?

She didn't Sia it coming.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Kentucky1979
πŸ“…︎ Dec 01 2018
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Thrill of the fight!
πŸ‘︎ 50
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DawnOfArkham
πŸ“…︎ Sep 20 2017
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I get a certain thrill from camping.

It's In-tents.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/hobopenguin
πŸ“…︎ Dec 13 2013
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The family wasn't thrilled with my cheese choices.

Queso?

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/osirisrebel
πŸ“…︎ Dec 21 2019
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Coming to theaters: the thrilling tale of a man who ate biographical books instead of turkey on Thanksgiving.

Baste on a true story.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/KairuSmairukon
πŸ“…︎ Oct 10 2019
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The thrilling news left the science community shaken
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πŸ‘€︎ u/michilio
πŸ“…︎ Feb 28 2019
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I watched a really thrilling documentary about how easily humans become distracted.

It kept me on the edge of my toilet seat.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TommehBoi
πŸ“…︎ Dec 31 2018
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My kid was so thrilled about Lego candy...

...that he was literally crapping bricks!

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Boswen
πŸ“…︎ Jun 20 2018
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Dad joked my mom. She wasn't thrilled I've picked up my father's humor.

Text conversation with my mom:

Mom: Let me know how you make out. Me: Usually with my lips. Mom: Knock if off.

πŸ‘︎ 663
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CarnOnTheCob
πŸ“…︎ Mar 21 2014
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514 Dad Jokes

What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.

I would avoid the sushi if I was you. It’s a little fishy.

Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind it’s tearable.

Why did the cookie cry? Because his father was a wafer so long!

I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.

What do you call a belt with a watch on it? A waist of time.

How do you organize an outer space party? You planet.

I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.

Do you know where you can get chicken broth in bulk? The stock market.

I cut my finger chopping cheese, but I think that I may have greater problems.

My cat was just sick on the carpet, I don’t think it’s feline well.

Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? Because it was well armed.

How much does a hipster weigh? An instagram.

What did daddy spider say to baby spider? You spend too much time on the web.

Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.

There’s a new type of broom out, it’

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 75
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Josvys
πŸ“…︎ Oct 03 2019
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Sukkot is the most thrilling of Jewish holidays...

It's in tents!

(technically tents would not make a legitimate Sukkah, but they do make decent puns)

πŸ‘︎ 22
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jabonko
πŸ“…︎ Oct 13 2014
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There was once a baker who was secretly dating two women.

Their names were Edith and Kate. And neither one knew of the other.

The baker loved them both, but couldn't decide on who to remain loyal to.

When the women found out about their shared man, rather than fight, they decided to compromise.

The baker was thrilled because he finally could have his Kate and Edith too.

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SirMalcolmK
πŸ“…︎ Aug 31 2019
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Have you ever wondered why it’s better to shake paint instead of stirring?

Because this way, it will bond better

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πŸ‘€︎ u/marcuccione
πŸ“…︎ Apr 11 2018
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Jason Bourne...

... is reliving the same day over and over in "Bourne Again"

... travels to the past to stop a terrorist attack in "Bourne yesterday"

... finally settles down and has a baby in "New Bourne"

... de-evolves into a feral beast who prowls the wilderness in "Bourne to be Wild"

Firstly, I think they really missed a trick naming these films.

Secondly... I know there are more of these...

πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MetalMikey666
πŸ“…︎ Jan 30 2018
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I think dads automatically gain access to a dadjoke reservoir the moment they become dads...

My aunt recently had a baby, and she was telling us about the experience the other day at a family get-together. How beautiful her little girl is, how amazing the experience was, yadda yadda. Then she told us about my uncle's reaction, which she was less than thrilled about.

When my uncle saw his daughter for the first time after my aunt had just labored for hours, he said:

"Damn, it's 2013, you'd think they'd have started making these things cordless by now."

πŸ‘︎ 1k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CloudyWithRain
πŸ“…︎ Dec 24 2013
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I dad joked my wife the moment she told me we were pregnant

We were going out to hang out with our friends and like usual the mrs was taking her time to get ready to leave.

She came out of the bathroom and told me we were pregnant. My response:

"That's great! Now come on we're late, and so are you."

I personally love it. But she wasn't so thrilled.

πŸ‘︎ 38
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Wacholez
πŸ“…︎ May 15 2015
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Dadjoked my dad while he was pissed at me.

Today I got my eyebrow pierced, and as expected the family wasnt too thrilled. My dad was yelling at me and saying how irresponsible and immature I was when he finally asked, "I mean, what was going through your head at the time?" and i replied with "a needle." I think he was impressed because he stopped talking and I left.

πŸ‘︎ 58
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MenionIsCool
πŸ“…︎ Apr 15 2014
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I wanted to name my newborn after my Grandpa

But My wife wasn't to thrilled on naming him Grandpa

πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Give_war_a_chance
πŸ“…︎ Jan 13 2015
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Meet the Jack of all dadjokes!

I was asked to help chauffeur a carload of youth around town for a Christmas caroling activity last night. One of the names on the list was Jack, who lost his wife earlier this year. Jack is in his early 90's, stands about 5'2, and is quite possibly the king of all dad jokes.

So, the group of about 25 kids and 5 adults sneak up to his doorstep and begin singing a few short Christmas carols. Eventually, he opens the door and is thrilled to have visitors.

After we are finished singing and the kids are all running back to the vehicles to get out of the 15 degree weather, jack steps out of his doorway and on to his porch. He is wearing a light t-shirt and pajama pants... he was setting us up, and we took the bait, hook, line, and sinker.

Woman: Are you freezing?

Jack: No, I'm not freezing, I'm Jack (pause for laughter)

Jack: but if you hang on for just a minute, I can get freezing for you.

and then he just stood there smiling at us. It was precious. Come to find out, Jack is entering

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Happyazz84
πŸ“…︎ Dec 11 2013
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Panda Puns

I was group messaging both my parents.

me: the Smithsonian panda cam is back up

dad: I'm just absolutely thrilled.

me: you should be

mom: unlike your father, I am very happy

dad: Katie (my mom's name), you're just panda-ring to her.

After neither my mom nor I responded to the joke, he continued with: nobody liked by punda

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/techbeck
πŸ“…︎ Oct 17 2013
🚨︎ report
I've been practicing the Dadjoke trade on my girlfriend

So my girlfriend was doing some readings from her law textbook, and I was looking over her shoulder reading the thrilling book.

Me: "WHO's the World Health Organisation."

Her: "Ha. Ha."

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/hodgkinsonable
πŸ“…︎ Mar 07 2014
🚨︎ report
My grandad pulled this one today.

(He got new underwear for Christmas)

Him: "Thanks for the underwear, but I can't dance in them."

Me: "Why's that, Pap?"

Him: "Because there's no ball-room."

Needless to say, my grandmother was not thrilled. I have to admit I thoroughly enjoyed it.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ“…︎ Dec 25 2013
🚨︎ report
Huge list of puns

What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.

I would avoid the sushi if I was you. It’s a little fishy.

Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind it’s tearable.

Why did the cookie cry? Because his father was a wafer so long!

I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.

What do you call a belt with a watch on it? A waist of time.

How do you organize an outer space party? You planet.

I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.

Do you know where you can get chicken broth in bulk? The stock market.

I cut my finger chopping cheese, but I think that I may have greater problems.

My cat was just sick on the carpet, I don’t think it’s feline well.

Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? Because it was well armed.

How much does a hipster weigh? An instagram.

What did daddy spider say to baby spider? You spend too much time on the web.

Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.

There’s a new type of broom out, it’s sweeping the nation.

What c

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 30
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BeaconOnAChairMC
πŸ“…︎ Mar 29 2019
🚨︎ report

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