Why did the prawns wife kick him out?
She was sick of him acting so shellfish
My priest prescribed a circuit of crunches, flutter kicks, bicycles, and plank holds for the guilt I confessed about neglecting my stomach muscles during workouts.
I finally received my abs solution.
why does a bike need a kick stand?
because it's two-tired to stand on it's own
What happens when you try to kick a volcano?
Tae Kwon Donkey (The Ass that kicks back) And Crab Maga (The Krav Maga crab that doesn’t just talk crab, he backs it up). Figured this community of punsters would appreciate the universe we are creating on Patreon. reddit.com/gallery/lgzbtq
If you accidentally drop ice cubes on the floor, just gently kick them under the refrigerator.
Soon It’ll just be water under the fridge.
I sure got a kick out of seeing the comedian perform.
I would have preferred a handshake, though.
Soccer coach to newbie: "Basically, you kick this ball down the field and try to get it into that big net at the end."
"That's the goal at least."
I can't stand when people kick me in the back of the leg
The instructor in my self defence class told me that the most effective place to kick a man is near his knees.
Personally, I think it’s nuts.
Why did the job applicant kick the door on his way into the interview?
So he could try to get a foot in the door
In Canada, you are more likely to die of a moose kick than of a terrorist attack.
Found this while looking through Pumped Up Kicks comments
My wife threatened to kick me out of the house if I did not stop acting like a Flamingo.
That was when I put my foot down!
How did the deaf guy finally kick the bucket?
You see, he had hearing AIDS
I saw a burglar trying to kick in his own door, so I asked “What the hell are you doing?”
He said, “Like everyone else, I’m working from home.”
My wife is threatening to kick me out of the house because of my obsession with acting like a news anchor.
More on this after the break.
The Chinese Coronavirus is really starting to kick people’s ass worldwide.
Should call it, Kung Flu.
When do the Coronavirus symptoms kick in ?
Punt or kick the field goal?
I had to kick a friend out of my house party.
He was pissing off the front porch
Excuse me while I kick this guy!
I was playing soccer and wondered how they could kick the ball so far
This weekend I will absolutely kick my habit of tapping on dead trees
What does the furniture say when you kick it?
Coworker said, "if you do that again, I'll kick you in the shin."
"That's alright, I wore shinguards today."
"Just for kicks!"
All I got for my wit was a deadpan look and a slow head shake.
All the other kids with their pumped up kicks...
(The characters name is kicks.)
I get a kick out of scaring horses.
I don’t understand why malls don’t kick out mall walkers
It just seems like loitering with extra steps
I found a man living in the edge of my roof, and I didn't kick him out
I let him do as he soffit
I just saw a burglar kick his own door in...
Me: "What are you doing?"
Burglar: "Working from home."
My wife is threatening to kick me out of the house because of my obsession with impersonating a news anchor...
More on this after the break.
The instructor in my self defense class told me that the most effective place to kick a man is near his knees.
Personally, I think it’s nuts