Why did the prawns wife kick him out?

She was sick of him acting so shellfish

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/THPSROCKS
πŸ“…︎ May 21 2021
🚨︎ report
My priest prescribed a circuit of crunches, flutter kicks, bicycles, and plank holds for the guilt I confessed about neglecting my stomach muscles during workouts.

I finally received my abs solution.

πŸ‘︎ 28
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MisterPlumbean
πŸ“…︎ May 12 2021
🚨︎ report
When you kick a pirate in the balls imgur.com/1YQd4Za
πŸ‘︎ 62
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πŸ‘€︎ u/geek_fest
πŸ“…︎ Mar 24 2021
🚨︎ report
why does a bike need a kick stand?

because it's two-tired to stand on it's own

πŸ‘︎ 68
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πŸ‘€︎ u/emiliith
πŸ“…︎ Apr 12 2021
🚨︎ report
What happens when you try to kick a volcano?

You Krakatoa!

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sir_Pluses
πŸ“…︎ Mar 24 2021
🚨︎ report
Tae Kwon Donkey (The Ass that kicks back) And Crab Maga (The Krav Maga crab that doesn’t just talk crab, he backs it up). Figured this community of punsters would appreciate the universe we are creating on Patreon. reddit.com/gallery/lgzbtq
πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/KicksandStrings
πŸ“…︎ Feb 10 2021
🚨︎ report
If you accidentally drop ice cubes on the floor, just gently kick them under the refrigerator.

Soon It’ll just be water under the fridge.

πŸ‘︎ 448
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheAvacadoBandit
πŸ“…︎ Oct 12 2020
🚨︎ report
I sure got a kick out of seeing the comedian perform.

I would have preferred a handshake, though.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mndaver24
πŸ“…︎ Dec 27 2020
🚨︎ report
Soccer coach to newbie: "Basically, you kick this ball down the field and try to get it into that big net at the end."

"That's the goal at least."

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JoeFas
πŸ“…︎ Dec 07 2020
🚨︎ report
nostalga kicks in
πŸ‘︎ 3k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/chromaer
πŸ“…︎ Aug 01 2019
🚨︎ report
I can't stand when people kick me in the back of the leg
πŸ‘︎ 1k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Nov 25 2019
🚨︎ report
The instructor in my self defence class told me that the most effective place to kick a man is near his knees.

Personally, I think it’s nuts.

πŸ‘︎ 7k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Apr 01 2019
🚨︎ report
Why did the job applicant kick the door on his way into the interview?

So he could try to get a foot in the door

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/NoMoreTerritory
πŸ“…︎ Sep 28 2020
🚨︎ report
In Canada, you are more likely to die of a moose kick than of a terrorist attack.

Those damn mooselimbs.

πŸ‘︎ 9k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Dec 23 2018
🚨︎ report
Check out my raw kicks
πŸ‘︎ 4k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/rotten_tomato69
πŸ“…︎ Nov 25 2018
🚨︎ report
Found this while looking through Pumped Up Kicks comments
πŸ‘︎ 1k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Dat_Hylian
πŸ“…︎ Jun 19 2019
🚨︎ report
My wife threatened to kick me out of the house if I did not stop acting like a Flamingo.

That was when I put my foot down!

πŸ‘︎ 279
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πŸ‘€︎ u/tyrannosaur85
πŸ“…︎ Jan 03 2020
🚨︎ report
How did the deaf guy finally kick the bucket?

You see, he had hearing AIDS

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Satanic_Smaug
πŸ“…︎ Mar 05 2020
🚨︎ report
I saw a burglar trying to kick in his own door, so I asked β€œWhat the hell are you doing?”

He said, β€œLike everyone else, I’m working from home.”

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Apr 15 2020
🚨︎ report
My wife is threatening to kick me out of the house because of my obsession with acting like a news anchor.

More on this after the break.

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Apr 01 2020
🚨︎ report
The Chinese Coronavirus is really starting to kick people’s ass worldwide.

Should call it, Kung Flu.

πŸ‘︎ 23
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DGNOLA12
πŸ“…︎ Jan 26 2020
🚨︎ report
When do the Coronavirus symptoms kick in ?

Right off the bat

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HellsJuggernaut
πŸ“…︎ Feb 08 2020
🚨︎ report
Punt or kick the field goal?
πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/doghaircut
πŸ“…︎ Aug 18 2019
🚨︎ report
I had to kick a friend out of my house party.

He was pissing off the front porch

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/isofakingwetoddid
πŸ“…︎ Oct 11 2019
🚨︎ report
Excuse me while I kick this guy!
πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Sep 19 2018
🚨︎ report
I was playing soccer and wondered how they could kick the ball so far

Then it hit me

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Fab-_-
πŸ“…︎ Nov 13 2019
🚨︎ report
This weekend I will absolutely kick my habit of tapping on dead trees

Knock on wood.

πŸ‘︎ 35
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Maimonides_vii
πŸ“…︎ Feb 01 2019
🚨︎ report
What does the furniture say when you kick it?

Couch.

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/tombombadil_do
πŸ“…︎ Jul 21 2019
🚨︎ report
Flea kick
πŸ‘︎ 143
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thepobv
πŸ“…︎ May 17 2016
🚨︎ report
Coworker said, "if you do that again, I'll kick you in the shin."

"That's alright, I wore shinguards today."

"...why?"

"Just for kicks!"

All I got for my wit was a deadpan look and a slow head shake.

πŸ‘︎ 2k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/downhillcarver
πŸ“…︎ Oct 05 2014
🚨︎ report
All the other kids with their pumped up kicks...
πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ‘€︎ u/findanegg
πŸ“…︎ Dec 14 2017
🚨︎ report
(The characters name is kicks.)
πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/duck0kcud
πŸ“…︎ Dec 27 2018
🚨︎ report
I get a kick out of scaring horses.
πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sprice-3
πŸ“…︎ Feb 02 2019
🚨︎ report
I don’t understand why malls don’t kick out mall walkers

It just seems like loitering with extra steps

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ImmenseDruid721
πŸ“…︎ Jan 09 2019
🚨︎ report
I found a man living in the edge of my roof, and I didn't kick him out

I let him do as he soffit

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CCplusplus
πŸ“…︎ Oct 04 2018
🚨︎ report
I just saw a burglar kick his own door in...

Me: "What are you doing?"

Burglar: "Working from home."

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/orduk
πŸ“…︎ Apr 07 2020
🚨︎ report
My wife is threatening to kick me out of the house because of my obsession with impersonating a news anchor...

More on this after the break.

πŸ‘︎ 16
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jan 08 2020
🚨︎ report
The instructor in my self defense class told me that the most effective place to kick a man is near his knees.

Personally, I think it’s nuts

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/The_Nightman_82
πŸ“…︎ Sep 21 2019
🚨︎ report

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