I sure got a kick out of seeing the comedian perform.

I would have preferred a handshake, though.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mndaver24
πŸ“…︎ Dec 27 2020
🚨︎ report
If you accidentally drop ice cubes on the floor, just gently kick them under the refrigerator.

Soon It’ll just be water under the fridge.

πŸ‘︎ 447
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheAvacadoBandit
πŸ“…︎ Oct 12 2020
🚨︎ report
Soccer coach to newbie: "Basically, you kick this ball down the field and try to get it into that big net at the end."

"That's the goal at least."

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JoeFas
πŸ“…︎ Dec 07 2020
🚨︎ report
Why did the job applicant kick the door on his way into the interview?

So he could try to get a foot in the door

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/NoMoreTerritory
πŸ“…︎ Sep 28 2020
🚨︎ report
nostalga kicks in
πŸ‘︎ 3k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/chromaer
πŸ“…︎ Aug 01 2019
🚨︎ report
I can't stand when people kick me in the back of the leg
πŸ‘︎ 1k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Nov 25 2019
🚨︎ report
My wife threatened to kick me out of the house if I did not stop acting like a Flamingo.

That was when I put my foot down!

πŸ‘︎ 279
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πŸ‘€︎ u/tyrannosaur85
πŸ“…︎ Jan 03 2020
🚨︎ report
The instructor in my self defence class told me that the most effective place to kick a man is near his knees.

Personally, I think it’s nuts.

πŸ‘︎ 7k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Apr 01 2019
🚨︎ report
In Canada, you are more likely to die of a moose kick than of a terrorist attack.

Those damn mooselimbs.

πŸ‘︎ 9k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Dec 23 2018
🚨︎ report
Found this while looking through Pumped Up Kicks comments
πŸ‘︎ 1k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Dat_Hylian
πŸ“…︎ Jun 19 2019
🚨︎ report
Check out my raw kicks
πŸ‘︎ 4k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/rotten_tomato69
πŸ“…︎ Nov 25 2018
🚨︎ report
I saw a burglar trying to kick in his own door, so I asked β€œWhat the hell are you doing?”

He said, β€œLike everyone else, I’m working from home.”

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Apr 15 2020
🚨︎ report
How did the deaf guy finally kick the bucket?

You see, he had hearing AIDS

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Satanic_Smaug
πŸ“…︎ Mar 05 2020
🚨︎ report
My wife is threatening to kick me out of the house because of my obsession with acting like a news anchor.

More on this after the break.

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Apr 01 2020
🚨︎ report
The Chinese Coronavirus is really starting to kick people’s ass worldwide.

Should call it, Kung Flu.

πŸ‘︎ 21
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DGNOLA12
πŸ“…︎ Jan 26 2020
🚨︎ report
When do the Coronavirus symptoms kick in ?

Right off the bat

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HellsJuggernaut
πŸ“…︎ Feb 08 2020
🚨︎ report
My wife is threatening to kick me out of the house because of my obsession with impersonating a news anchor...

More on this after the break.

πŸ‘︎ 18
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jan 08 2020
🚨︎ report
Punt or kick the field goal?
πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/doghaircut
πŸ“…︎ Aug 18 2019
🚨︎ report
I had to kick a friend out of my house party.

He was pissing off the front porch

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/isofakingwetoddid
πŸ“…︎ Oct 11 2019
🚨︎ report
I was playing soccer and wondered how they could kick the ball so far

Then it hit me

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Fab-_-
πŸ“…︎ Nov 13 2019
🚨︎ report
Excuse me while I kick this guy!
πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Sep 19 2018
🚨︎ report
Took this a couple minutes ago, i have to say the kicks are FIRE
πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/neanderpalac
πŸ“…︎ May 13 2019
🚨︎ report
What does the furniture say when you kick it?

Couch.

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/tombombadil_do
πŸ“…︎ Jul 21 2019
🚨︎ report
This weekend I will absolutely kick my habit of tapping on dead trees

Knock on wood.

πŸ‘︎ 36
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Maimonides_vii
πŸ“…︎ Feb 01 2019
🚨︎ report
(The characters name is kicks.)
πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/duck0kcud
πŸ“…︎ Dec 27 2018
🚨︎ report
I get a kick out of scaring horses.
πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sprice-3
πŸ“…︎ Feb 02 2019
🚨︎ report
Flea kick
πŸ‘︎ 143
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thepobv
πŸ“…︎ May 17 2016
🚨︎ report
All the other kids with their pumped up kicks...
πŸ‘︎ 19
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πŸ‘€︎ u/findanegg
πŸ“…︎ Dec 14 2017
🚨︎ report
Coworker said, "if you do that again, I'll kick you in the shin."

"That's alright, I wore shinguards today."

"...why?"

"Just for kicks!"

All I got for my wit was a deadpan look and a slow head shake.

πŸ‘︎ 2k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/downhillcarver
πŸ“…︎ Oct 05 2014
🚨︎ report
I had to kick this ginger for coming into my work. v.redd.it/9y6qmka7xir01
πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Apr 12 2018
🚨︎ report
I don’t understand why malls don’t kick out mall walkers

It just seems like loitering with extra steps

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ImmenseDruid721
πŸ“…︎ Jan 09 2019
🚨︎ report
I found a man living in the edge of my roof, and I didn't kick him out

I let him do as he soffit

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CCplusplus
πŸ“…︎ Oct 04 2018
🚨︎ report
As a pregnant woman, I find it hard to describe the almost magical feeling of what it's like when the baby kicks.

It's almost like an in the body experience

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Nech1492
πŸ“…︎ Jun 07 2018
🚨︎ report
After Lucifer betrayed God, how did God kick him out of heaven?

"get the hell outta here"

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dakkamakka
πŸ“…︎ Jun 16 2018
🚨︎ report
I'll never forget the last words my dad said before he kicked the bucket..."son, look how far i can kick this bucket"
πŸ‘︎ 21
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ctrldj
πŸ“…︎ Dec 16 2017
🚨︎ report
I just saw a burglar kick his own door in...

Me: "What are you doing?"

Burglar: "Working from home."

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/orduk
πŸ“…︎ Apr 07 2020
🚨︎ report
The instructor in my self defense class told me that the most effective place to kick a man is near his knees.

Personally, I think it’s nuts

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/The_Nightman_82
πŸ“…︎ Sep 21 2019
🚨︎ report

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