Pun Request: Foot

I need to write a bit about "digital footprints" for a class.

I figured I should throw a few foot puns in to spice things up.

However, soon I found that trouble was afoot.

I'm starting to run dry and am close to being dead on my feet.

Can I get a few extra hands (and feet) to throw in some ideas?

Toe/heel/knee puns also welcome.

πŸ‘︎ 24
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πŸ‘€︎ u/zachiswach
πŸ“…︎ Jan 29 2014
🚨︎ report
What’s a foot long and slippery?

A slipper.

πŸ‘︎ 807
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Eternal_Punshine
πŸ“…︎ May 27
🚨︎ report
True story: I was a kid, watching TV in our living room. My dad was outside using the grill. All of a sudden he bursts in the door hopping on one foot yelling β€œI stepped on a Bee!”

I was so concerned I jumped up and ran over to him...

Earlier that day my friend and I who were really into mountain biking had been using really sticky letters to put our names on our bikes. We were working near the general area of the BBQ.

Apparently I had dropped one...

Stuck to the bottom of my dads foot was the letter B....

A legendary dad joke from a legendary dad.

πŸ‘︎ 11k
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πŸ“…︎ Mar 07
🚨︎ report
What did the cell say after his sister accidentally stepped on his foot?

Mitosis!!!

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/who_nobody
πŸ“…︎ Jun 07
🚨︎ report
Big Foot is sometimes confused for Sasquatch

Yeti never complains.

πŸ‘︎ 146
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πŸ‘€︎ u/christiescrubbs
πŸ“…︎ Apr 28
🚨︎ report
Athletes get athlete's foot. What do astronauts get?

Mistletoe (missile-toe)

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Wookieefaced1
πŸ“…︎ May 25
🚨︎ report
If a Dog Has a Prosthetic Foot,

... is it a faux pas?

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/1Montyj
πŸ“…︎ May 16
🚨︎ report
I heard that a gang based in Los Angeles is creating paper money with pictures of the founder's foot's digits in place of presidents...

I dunno if the Crip-toe currency will take off or not.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ May 19
🚨︎ report
My son accidentally smashed his foot on the table and as he was hopping around the room screaming in pain, I rushed to the phone, picked it up and asked him, "Do you want me to call..."

"A TOE TRUCK!!??"

πŸ‘︎ 264
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πŸ‘€︎ u/honolulu_oahu_mod
πŸ“…︎ Mar 24
🚨︎ report
Did you know athlete’s foot is only in the US?

The rest of the world calls it athlete’s meter

πŸ‘︎ 21
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RaunchyAppleSauce
πŸ“…︎ May 18
🚨︎ report
What's a foot surgeon's favorite gum?

Mentos

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/supra_elongata
πŸ“…︎ May 16
🚨︎ report
What do foot fetishists eat for snak?

Doritoes

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JohnJohnyJon
πŸ“…︎ Apr 17
🚨︎ report
Has anyone actually ever seen Big Foot?

Not Yeti.

πŸ‘︎ 22
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πŸ‘€︎ u/asiers
πŸ“…︎ Apr 16
🚨︎ report
I got the word β€œOuch” tattooed on the back of my foot yesterday. My dad asked me if it still hurts.

I told him yes, but it’ll heel.

πŸ‘︎ 23
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πŸ‘€︎ u/lildinger68
πŸ“…︎ Mar 28
🚨︎ report
why is it a bad idea to iron your rabbits foot?

You shouldn't press your luck

πŸ‘︎ 41
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JoesMemories
πŸ“…︎ Apr 22
🚨︎ report
What’s a foot’s favorite month?

What’s a foot’s favorite month? March

My six-year-old son made that up.

πŸ‘︎ 76
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jonclarkX1
πŸ“…︎ Mar 07
🚨︎ report
About 1 foot deep
πŸ‘︎ 23
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Nightshade111
πŸ“…︎ Mar 26
🚨︎ report
What has five toes but isn't your foot?

My foot.

Edit: Thanks a lot guys for the awards and upvotes. ;) :)

πŸ‘︎ 20k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/D3V1L420
πŸ“…︎ Sep 03 2020
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I dropped a hot fudge sundae on my foot

I scream

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ“…︎ Apr 19
🚨︎ report
I was midway between the bow and the stern of my 120 foot yacht when suddenly I was surrounded by submarines that just surfaced...

I was amidship man.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Apr 29
🚨︎ report
How do you measure a king’s foot?

with a ruler.

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Echo_The_God
πŸ“…︎ Apr 17
🚨︎ report
Taking a picture of big foot is no small feat.

Feat sounds like feet.

πŸ‘︎ 38
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πŸ‘€︎ u/4zio
πŸ“…︎ Mar 05
🚨︎ report
Did you know Shakespeare had a brother who was a foot soldier in the military?

He would get so nervous before battle that he couldn't keep his hands from shaking. The say he wielded quite the shaky-spear.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/_Mjolner_
πŸ“…︎ Apr 15
🚨︎ report
If the arch of your foot keeps hurting and there's nothing you can do about it...

Does that make it your... arch nemesis?

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ObsidianOtter
πŸ“…︎ Apr 12
🚨︎ report
Foot warmers are really misnamed

Shouldn’t they be called Toesters?

πŸ‘︎ 19
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πŸ‘€︎ u/LayThatPipe
πŸ“…︎ Feb 28
🚨︎ report
What did the chemist say when he dropped a bar of gold on his foot?

AU!

πŸ‘︎ 176
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πŸ‘€︎ u/who_8_my_pasta_
πŸ“…︎ Jan 14
🚨︎ report
I ran into my nephew yesterday and said, β€œWow! You must have grown a foot since I saw you last.”

He said, β€œNope. Still have two.”

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Mar 20
🚨︎ report
A tub of margarine fell on my foot 3 weeks a go and it still hurts.....

I can't believe it's not better.

πŸ‘︎ 973
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ElderHallow
πŸ“…︎ Oct 13 2020
🚨︎ report
I dropped a slice of meat on my foot today.

That's bologna!

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/soloazn
πŸ“…︎ Mar 03
🚨︎ report
My friend lost the front part of his foot. Now I don’t like him anymore.

I’m lack-toes intolerant.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RichNCrispy
πŸ“…︎ Mar 07
🚨︎ report
What is made of leather, a foot long and sounds like a sneeze?

A shoe.

πŸ‘︎ 3k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HydrosFear
πŸ“…︎ Aug 17 2020
🚨︎ report
You're a real foot

An absolute leg end

πŸ‘︎ 34
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πŸ‘€︎ u/chubbytapir
πŸ“…︎ Jan 14
🚨︎ report
What’s the best way to transport a giant foot?

toe truck

πŸ‘︎ 21
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JiminyKirket
πŸ“…︎ Jan 14
🚨︎ report
We had a foot of snow outside today.

I don’t know who made it or who put it there, but the craftsmanship is amazing.

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RedShirtCashion
πŸ“…︎ Feb 02
🚨︎ report
Authorities are searching for a four-foot tall woman who recently escaped from prison in upstate New York. She was serving a five year sentence for fraud after convincing a number of victims that she was a powerful psychic.

Now she's a small medium at large.

πŸ‘︎ 75
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πŸ‘€︎ u/eggsaladapologist
πŸ“…︎ Nov 25 2020
🚨︎ report
Going to the foot doctor tomorrow.

Don't often think about my feet. They are usually the furthest thing from my mind.

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Dec 14 2020
🚨︎ report
When my grandparents came over they said: β€œYou look like you’ve grown a foot!”

I looked down to my feet, looked back up, and told them: β€œNo, I still have just two.”

πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rallocks
πŸ“…︎ Jan 05
🚨︎ report
What foot dont they make shoes for?

A square foot.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/titaniumhud
πŸ“…︎ Jan 04
🚨︎ report
what did the cell say when it’s sister stepped on it’s foot

ouch mitosis

πŸ‘︎ 26
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/nevaehdiastae
πŸ“…︎ May 04
🚨︎ report
I got the word β€œOuch” tattooed on the back of my foot yesterday. My son asked me if it still hurts.

I told him yes, but it’ll heel.

πŸ‘︎ 21
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/lildinger68
πŸ“…︎ Mar 28
🚨︎ report
What did the cell say when his sister stepped on his foot?

Mitosis

πŸ‘︎ 26
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/kunalbee
πŸ“…︎ Mar 25
🚨︎ report
What is a foot long and slippery?

A slipper!

πŸ‘︎ 130
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/homepreplive
πŸ“…︎ Feb 02
🚨︎ report
What did the cell say when it’s sister stepped on it’s foot

Mitosis

πŸ‘︎ 36
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/GLIZZYGOD999
πŸ“…︎ Mar 15
🚨︎ report
My son accidentally smashed his foot on the table and as he was hopping around the room screaming in pain, I rushed to the phone, picked it up and asked him, "Do you want me to call..."

"...a TOE TRUCK!!??"

πŸ‘︎ 18k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Jun 22 2020
🚨︎ report
My son accidentally smashed his foot on the table and as he was hopping around the room screaming in pain, I rushed to the phone, picked it up and asked him, "Do you want me to call..."

"...a TOE TRUCK!!??"

πŸ‘︎ 179
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/honolulu_oahu_mod
πŸ“…︎ Dec 18 2020
🚨︎ report
A tub of margarine fell on my foot three weeks ago and it still hurts.

I can’t believe it’s not better.

πŸ‘︎ 87
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/jigsatics
πŸ“…︎ Nov 05 2020
🚨︎ report

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