Why do cows have hoofs instead of feet?

Because they lactose

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πŸ“…︎ Aug 24 2020
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The ultimate dadjoke. My toddlers believe that on 3 king’s day (along with bringing gifts) the camels severely screw up our home. I put muddy hoof prints throughout, upend the plants, knock over the tree, tear apart fruit, etc.

This year Was a symphony! We had aunts, and two grandmas join in for a seriously epic camel disaster for the kids to discover tomorrow. Feeling proud of my dad skills.

Photos here:

https://imgur.com/gallery/b8sILu3

Edit: the oldest is 5. We celebrated a day early so their aunt could be here. The real 3 kings day is tomorrow. Don’t tell the wise men!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/sloanautomatic
πŸ“…︎ Jan 05 2019
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Why do cows have hoofs, and not feet?

Becuase they lack toes.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DarkClaw146
πŸ“…︎ May 16 2019
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I had to hoof it back up a few blocks to take this picture.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Seatpan
πŸ“…︎ Oct 31 2017
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Why does a milking stool only have 3 legs?

Because the cow has the udder

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Packaging69
πŸ“…︎ Dec 12 2020
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Hehehe... horseshoes πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚
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πŸ“…︎ Dec 24 2020
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Why, it's a group of thick-skinned, hoofed animals.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/glitterfuzz
πŸ“…︎ Mar 16 2019
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What did the momma cow say to her baby?

It's pasture bedtime!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/PrincessCuteButt
πŸ“…︎ May 16 2020
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How does a cow drive?

They have to Hoof it.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/RoosterBurger
πŸ“…︎ Nov 20 2020
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Cows can't keep secrets.

You tell one, pretty soon they all herd.

It's a bunch of bull, really.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/breakone9r
πŸ“…︎ Sep 12 2018
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πŸ‘︎ 385
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πŸ‘€︎ u/layover_guy
πŸ“…︎ Nov 02 2016
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How do cows learn how to walk?

By putting one hoof in front of the udder.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/the8destroyer
πŸ“…︎ Jan 16 2020
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If in an earthquake, take shelter with a horse.

Their houses are always stable.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/RuneShine
πŸ“…︎ Dec 23 2015
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What sound did the horse make on Roblox when it died?

Hoof

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πŸ‘€︎ u/GaryTheKnight
πŸ“…︎ Aug 12 2019
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Can anyone think of any pig related film puns?

So I do a pub quiz every week with the team name 'Kevin Bacon Stars In...' followed by a pig related film pun such as Boarne Identity, Vanilla Sty, Ham of Steel etc.

It's been about a year and a half now and we're starting to run out so any ideas would be great!

Not sure this is the best place to ask for help but couldn't think where else would be better.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/KevinBaconStarsIn
πŸ“…︎ Aug 08 2013
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Sleep-Deprivation Fueled Pun War

My friend (L) and I (B) ended up in a pun war. She had to wake up super early to catch a flight, and this was at about one in the morning:

L: I should definitely set my alarm to 'cow' o.O

B: Haha, do it. Nothing like waking up to cows in the 'moo'rning.

L: Oh my gosh. Absolutely not.

B: Hey, but it would be so 'udder'ly hilarious!

L: I just got stabbed to death by a pun.

B: I'm just trying to 'milk' it for all it's worth...

L: If I did that, I'm not sure I'd wake up in a happy 'moo'od.

B: Just drink some 'calf'inated coffee, and you'll be fine.

L: I'd be laughing 'stock' of the town... Cows don't have a sense of humor.

B: Bull!

L: I'll just use my cowculator do determine how much sleep I'm actually going to get tonight...

B: You could wake up a little later, but you'd have to 'hoof' it to the airport.

L: Hope the weather is good, so my plane isn't 'ground'ed 'beef'.

B: That's stretching it... You should make more of an 'heifer't to come up with good puns.

L: I know when I'm getting creamed.

B: It's hard to 'steer' you in the right direction, because you keep changing topics.

L: That's udderly ridiculous. I'm just trying to mooove on.

B: And I just keep churning 'em out...

L: No, you're just spinning your 'veal's.

B: That's one of the best ones I've herd all night!

L: I thought I might've butchered it...

B: PETA might have a beef with you because of it, though...

L: Well done, well done...

B: I don't think they care leather or not you personally slaughtered it, too.

L: See now, I wish you'd stop 'grilling' me about the bad puns... You should 'patty' yourself on the back. I 'dairy' you to come up with more.

B: Well, you can certainly steak a claim for being able to hold your own...

L: I'm a natural 'barn' comedian. However, I really should quit 'yak'king and go to bed. :p

B: Okay, that's not cows... You lose. You 'cud' have done a lot better.

L: The grass is greener on the other side, okay? Also, cows live in barns, and yaks are related to cows.

B: It was still quite a stretch... Don't have a cow about it.

L: Ha anymoo. Goodnight! Also, don't die of mad cow disease.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/guerrilla154
πŸ“…︎ Jul 13 2015
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What did the horse say when it smelled something bad?

Hoof hearted?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/eatmycheese27
πŸ“…︎ May 24 2016
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We wouldn't want our puppy to suffer from that...

My dog was chewing on a cow hoof and coughed a couple of times.

Wife (to dog): "Did you get some of that hoof stuck in your throat?"

Me (to dog): "Be careful - we wouldn't want you to get hoof-in-mouth disease!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/sobecreation
πŸ“…︎ Oct 28 2014
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Got my dad

I was traveling with my dad in china a couple of years ago and I was trying lambs hoof...dad "how is it" me "its got a big of a kick" laughter insued while our translator looked at us blankly not understanding.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/shep723
πŸ“…︎ Mar 23 2015
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