Why was there a dead calf in the boot of a Germans car?

It’s his spare veal

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Cormac-Dockry
πŸ“…︎ Feb 11
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My wife calls me loudly: β€œI think I did something to my leg, my calf really hurts”

Me: Well don’t have a cow about it

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/semiblacksol
πŸ“…︎ Mar 03
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Doctor: β€œYou’ve damaged several muscles including your calf and your quad.”

Patient: β€œIs that true, or are you just pulling my leg?”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Nitroade24h
πŸ“…︎ Feb 03
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If a baby cow is called a calf what is a baby pig called?

A hamstring.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/AugustBurnsWill
πŸ“…︎ Oct 09 2019
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After getting my calf tattoo'd I thought I'd also get my achilles done
πŸ‘︎ 75
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πŸ‘€︎ u/tomsvbored
πŸ“…︎ Jan 18 2019
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Why did the hungry baby calf cross the road?

To get to the udder side.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kickypie
πŸ“…︎ Aug 31 2019
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My mom was telling a sweet story about how a herd of elephants we're keeping a deceased calf with them on their Journey

Without missing a beat my dad goes "Why didn't they just keep him in the trunk.

I'm still laughing like a drunken seal.

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πŸ“…︎ Jun 15 2019
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Got a Calf tattooed on my calf imgur.com/mjgvsus
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πŸ“…︎ Feb 23 2019
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I responded to an ad for a calf model...

It was an awkward day at the dairy farmer’s magazine.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/FFTorched
πŸ“…︎ May 26 2019
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My friend believes in reincarnation and says in his former life, he was a calf slaughtered for the meat.

Very revealing.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Dec 16 2018
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What did the buffalo say as he dropped his calf off at school?

Bison

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πŸ‘€︎ u/meme_peasant
πŸ“…︎ Mar 13 2019
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My personal trainer said I should start doing calf raises.

I can barely lift up my cat, let alone a baby cow.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TommehBoi
πŸ“…︎ Jul 31 2018
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Before she got her monkey, Dora the Explorer used to have a cute little pet calf.

He was a Dora bull.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/OiTheRolk
πŸ“…︎ Nov 25 2018
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What do you call the meat of your calf?

Bologna

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Nomadiccyborg
πŸ“…︎ Aug 20 2018
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What did the buffalo mom say to her calf when it was time for him to leave the heard?

"Bison."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/AkumaXshoguN
πŸ“…︎ Oct 02 2018
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What did the mama cow say to her calf?

It's pasture bedtime.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SSBoe
πŸ“…︎ Sep 26 2017
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Aaron Rodgers played with an injured calf on Sunday (X-Post from /r/GreenBayPackers)
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πŸ“…︎ Dec 19 2016
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One of my cows had a calf today.

Now she's de-calf-enated.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/nyquill81
πŸ“…︎ May 06 2017
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What did the calf want to be when she grew up?

A moosician.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Dinosaurking88
πŸ“…︎ Jul 03 2017
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What did the skydiving calf say as he jumped out of the plane?

Cowabunga!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/millions-in-debt
πŸ“…︎ Oct 01 2017
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What did the farmer say to the calf at midnight?

"Get to bed! It's pasture bed time!!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/punx_at_heart
πŸ“…︎ Jul 21 2013
🚨︎ report

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